Big Chapters Are Sometimes Hard To Close

Been a while since I wrote a post so I thought that it'd be nice to return with a banger of a piece. Now that I've embarrassed myself by saying the word 'banger' (that and the fact that I couldn't spell embarrassed without spell-check) lets get on with what probably is going to be a sad post.

See I even give warnings before starting my piece so that at least you have a heads up for what you're probably going to get yourself into. So now that you've foolishly decided to continue reading perhaps it's time that I actually started talking about today's topic instead of dilly dallying around.

Okay so a while back I wrote a post regarding the tiny chapters in our life. The little mini memories that aren't significant enough to cause any change, but are still worth remembering. Chapters like school trips, summer memories, fights with random people... the list goes on.

However this is different. There are times when major changes occur in your life; Changes you may not expect; Changes you may not event want. Yet they will occur and when they do it's best to realize it, rather than foolishly try and fight for something that was lost long ago.

Sounding rather cryptic aren't I? Well sometimes the closer you look the less you see (Yes I ripped that line off from 'Now You See Me'). Anyways getting back to the original topic. There will be a point when you will find yourself wondering how on Earth did you end up in this situation, with the walls backed up against you and the suffocation setting it. It is at that point that you know you're done, and maybe it's time to sign off from this part of your life.

Sometimes though you don't have control of how a chapter ends. While the norm is for you to have veto power as to how and when a chapter concludes; what happens when someone shuts it for you? In most sense, I as a person know how that feels, and let me tell you, it isn't a good feeling.

Sadly what can you do? Wishing things were different probably won't help; Fighting to keep something that has already ended won't help either. In fact probably the easiest thing to do is to just let go. When you bow to the inevitable, the inevitable becomes the expectation. You knew this would happen and when it did you prepared yourself for it. Perhaps things didn't happen the way you expected them to, but they did for a reason. Now while I'm sorta insane and don't actually know what that reason is, I do know that eventually I will learn to accept it.

To round off what is sure to be either a very confusing or incredibly clear post to all of you out there, let me say this; A chapter is a chapter for a reason, when one begins to close, it signals the start of a new one. So I guess all I have to do is wait now; wait for my next chapter to start.

To apologize for the inconvenience I may have caused by depressing you with this post, here's a Pikachu eating a lollipop. Cheers! 

The Ties That Bind

So this really isn't like any other post I've written (mainly cause it's 4 a.m and I'm half asleep) but nevertheless I still I find it an important one. So to the few of you out there reading this... Try to find the meaning within the lines.

A lonely child of happiness silenced by pain

Brought forth by desire and that of gain 

Rose from the ashes to rule his kingdom he did 

But fell down once again, a stumble upon  his hill

Now time and experience should have taught him well

But foolish his desire that brought him to hell

Now alone he sits once again

Still waiting to etch his life with pen.

Well that's all I've got for you. I think I'll dub this muse 'Broken'. Yeah that sounds about right... Oh and here's an inspirational picture I took. It's actually just the metro lines in my city, but pretend there's a nice quote written across it that makes you feel good . 

Elevation to the Nth Degree

'Don't be afraid to be different'

For it is your difference that will guide you through the hardships you shall face

The pain that once bound you to so many evil things will be released

And you will rise your head towards a brighter future.

A simple thought isn't it? Yet words are only the shell of the big picture, seeing as our actions determine how we fill that shell. True in the end all evil will be vanquished and good with reign victorious. What matters is how much we have to give up to reach that point. Happiness... Most people think they have it, but few have ever been able to understand it.

As a child let me tell you there were few things in the world that brought me happiness. My family and my own world was what I'd escape to when the demons of my insecurities would take control, and I'd hide, miserably ashamed of who I was and what had brought me to this Earth. Yet as I grew so did my desire to find that elusive emotion of happiness. Weirdly enough I had to only begin searching for it when I realized where it was.

Now happiness to me is not something that can be granted so easily. However once earned, I do everything in my power to ensure that I never let go of it. So now the questions remains, what is happiness? What is that sheer emotion of bliss? Where can I find that emotion of pure elation? The answer strangely enough is synonymous to the person who desires it. Only he or she will know what makes them happy, and therefore only they can set the path in motion to achieve it.

To me happiness is a number of things. Making new friends, and more often than not, helping them. Having the perfect day. Being loved by all. Most importantly, I find great joy in learning, especially those life lessons that I keep to myself, for only I know how valuable they are.

What's strange is that I'm writing this post with the feeling of utmost elation. The kind a good song can give to you after a hard day of downfalls. Yet even though I've written so much, I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of what truly this emotions means to some of us. So I ask this to you in conclusion. Stop what you're doing right now, and think about what makes you happy... You'll be surprised by how remembering will bring you so much joy.

The Lone Ranger or The Masses of Sheep?

People don't often realize how the interactions I have with them leads me to learning a life lesson. Certain encounters that I've had have in fact taught me a lot about life. Some lessons were beneficial, others were harsh smacks of reality, but more often than not each lesson I learned would change me as an individual. However I digress from the original topic.

Every person I've met over the course of my lifetime have had different ideals, views and perspective to almost everything and anything. Now while it is true that human opinions are unique, most of the people I met could be classified into groups of individuals with similar characteristics. However there are always those rare few with viewpoints so unorthodox that they question the foundation of everything considered to be the norm. To them, their opinions are only ones they consider worth listening to. Some might say that they are selfish for not taking into consideration the views of others. However it has come to my realization that in the end it is us who makes the final decision regarding any dilemma we face with life, so shouldn't our thoughts matter the most?

Now trust me there are always exceptions to this rule. Some people are so single minded that they are blinded by the desire of others to help them out. They always consider themselves to be right no matter what the circumstances. Whether others think of them as a joke or not, they are their own boss and will fiercely stand by what they say. However their stubbornness eventually leads to their downfall. In essence these individuals are popular to a certain degree. Sadly though this popularity is not one of respect but rather of curiosity. Others are enamored by the resilience of this person who to them is a refreshing break from all the other sheep they interact with. Unfortunately their interest is no more than that of people visiting the zoo and trying to provoke the snakes with a stick. They hunger for the moment when this person finally loses his or her grip on reality and goes spiraling down into a wave of their own emotions.

What I have described in the previous paragraph is an extreme measure of one person's view on an individual's opinion. The polar opposites are in fact far more common then their counterparts. They are those who are addicted to what is considered popular by the masses. Also regarded as 'sheep' these people are always willing to bend their own opinions to suit the generally agreed view. While popular, it is quite likely that in the future, just as trends fade away, they too will not be remembered.

So now the question lies as to where some of you stand in terms of listening to others and having a voice for yourself. As with all things good and evil, tolerance is key. We should not allow what others say to hurt or influence us too greatly. Similarly we should not let wise words spoken go to waste. Each person has something to say. What matters is whether it's worth listening to or not.

Why I'd make a good story teller

So I was reminiscing like usual, thinking about old times and how much they meant to me when I suddenly realized... I can remember shit! Pardon the language but like most people I've met tend to forget nearly everything beyond the last week of their existence. Now I'm not talking about major stuff but rather simplistic stuff; stuff that people forget... Stuff that I weirdly remember.

Acha getting back to the main point. I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to retelling past events, I've got the whole ' Remember that one time...' thing down pat. This is mainly because I love telling stories and freaking people out by all the awkward stuff I remember, and secondly I cherish those memories more than anything else in the entire world (wow that sounded so lame). So as I treat for you people, I thought I'd share a story with you all.

Now while I don't consider this an actual story I feel that it's still a significant part of my life and one I don't mind sharing with you... that and I can't think of anything remotely interesting to talk about. So now I'm pretty sure many of you out there know who Iggy is (in case you didn't he's a lethargic piece of fat that I call a guinea pig) and this is the story of how I got him. Now as I child I loved to blackmail people (still do sometimes) and that plus my re-collective memory meant that promising me anything while was young was a big mistake.

Our story starts 8 years ago when I was at the tender age of 10 (I wouldn't say tender since I was as round as a beach ball) and my family and I were driving out of town for a weekend of relaxation. Now while my mom went to visit the loo when we stopped for a break, I cornered my poor unsuspecting father (never try and outwit my mother). I said to him 'Dad I want a dog (note always ask for something more than what you expect)', to which he laughed in response. Then I played the classic 'cry as loud as you can' card, and the moment the waterworks went off my dad panicked. So to console me he said' Son when you're 14 we'll get you a dog', to which I responded 'Promise?' and then my father made the biggest mistake of his life by not realizing who he was dealing with when he said 'Yes'.

Flash-forward 4 years and my birthday is approaching. I'm like parents I want a dog for my birthday. My mom thinks I'm joking, and my dad seems to have forgotten his promise. However I didn't, and unfortunately my dad got the short end of the stick when he had to explain to my rather 'astounded' mother why on Earth I'd be getting a dog. However, my mom refused to budge on the whole not getting a dog so that meant only one thing... I'd have to get bribed. Now when I get bribed, I get paid off big time. So for that simple promise I made 4 years ago, I was bequeathed a brand new laptop and a tiny pet of my choice (I'm evil I know).

Now the dilemma came up as to what on Earth should I get as my new found companion. I despise birds because I can't pick them up, and cats are a bit too violent for my taste, so the only adorable thing remaining was my beloved guinea pigs. Next came choosing one. When you to go the pet store looking for rodents there are two situations that are most likely to occur. Either they'll have tons of freshly shipped in babies (that sounded wrong as well) or they'll have none at all. I weirdly enough went somewhere in the middle where only a few of the tiny little hairballs were remaining, and that is where I saw him. The tiniest in the lot, his orange colored fur stood out like a warning symbol. What my mom liked about him the most was that literally anything on this Earth would scare him shitless.

Pardon the language but that's actually true and so she thought that he'd be the most harmless for me. Strange enough I knew, that when I held him in my arms, his tiny paws reaching up to my neck, that he was definitely the one for me... And thus I wound up with my first ever guinea pig, though more were soon to follow.

That brings us to the end of our rather weird and maybe sorta retarded story. I'm not sure if it was interesting or not but I definitely had fun reliving the moment, and it was nice to write something other than a depressing emotional post. Who knows maybe if my friends pester me enough (hint hint) I'll write another story for you guys... perhaps one that's more juicier next time.

Mini Chapters & Their Significance

So today I thought that it'd be nice to skip the formalities and get straight into the topic at hand...

They say that every individual we meet during the path of our existence influences us in someway. Whether by teaching us a new lesson, showing us an unusual experience or simply by saying hi to us on a sad day. Yet there are over 7 Billion people on this planet so clearly the people we encounter and the friends we make are a mere micro-fraction of those that surround our life. However for now I'd like to focus on the minor chapters of our lives; the ones that may last only for a couple of months but we still look back upon them with longing of moments past and time well spent.

So now what is a 'Mini Chapter'? Well clearly it can have a different meaning to all of you out there reading this (thanks mom for reading this) but to me it's all about friendship and those brief encounters with people that suddenly seem to disappear as fast they did appear.

Bear with me as I get knee deep in complicated ideas. So over the past few days a couple of really unfortunate things happened (I'm a dick in short) and that got me going through all of my old conversations I've had with people on the various social media platforms I'm part of (Life? I have none). What I found is that over time I've made so many new temporary friends; people I've spoken to, bonded with, even considered friends, and then out of the blue suddenly the conversations stop and it's like they never existed in the first place. Now it's not like I'm complaining or anything. These moments are just a natural part of your life. While insignificant to you when you consider the big picture, there are times when the memories come back and you revel in the fondness of the past. They come and go as they please, but each of them add a new page to your book...sometimes maybe even two. I'm sure all of you have suddenly gotten really close to someone and then randomly they vanished from your life...right? God let me not be the only one going through this *Awkward*.

Wow I lost my train of thought again. Guess that means that this post is over... OR DOES IT?
No really I'm done. Stay loose random strangers who read this, maybe someday you'll be a chapter as well.

Memories that haunt you... And why overthinking SUCKS!

Okay so before I get knee-deep in all these thoughts that have been swirling around my head for the past 3 days let me take a moment to tell you that I got a MacBook! Yay I've joined the rest of the mindless zombies who have caved into Apple's great power. Meh it's still a good machine, though typing can get a bit weird sometimes.

Getting back to the original topic at hand... memories. If you're a guy with issues (A.K.A me) then definitely there are going be moments during the day when you look back at all the shitty stuff you've done with your life and feel absolutely terrible at how you reacted to them. There are still times when I just feel sad at how terrible a person I was and how I goofed up so many times. The irritating part is because of my ability to recollect so clearly, I'm basically reliving those moments day after day, night after night, wondering how I could have done those things... and what would have happened if things had occurred differently?

People always tell me that I zone out sometimes. It's quite obvious when you're staring at me and I look like a somewhat paralyzed dog with my eyes all misty and not at all interested in what you're saying. It's at that point when I'm actually deep inside my own thoughts (wow that sounded weird) wondering how situations will play out if certain elements of it were to be changed. More often than not, I bow to the inevitable, sure that in time what I saw will in fact come true.

In other news I tend to overthink a lot. Like a lot. Like seriously way too much for any sane person to be doing so (well we all knew I was never sane). Thing is I overthink things because that how I've always lived my life ever since I reached high school. As a person who always found it difficult to interact with others (making friends was like playing life on expert mode) I would generally stay in the shadows, watching from a distance and wondering what would happen if I went up to someone just to say 'hi'.

Being a person who is naturally singled out as the 'weird' one, I've come to accept that title as part of myself. Weirdness just seems to flow through me, though I feel what I do is quite normal. Maybe that's the way things are... one person's view isn't the same as the others.