There comes a point where acceptance of the inevitable is a less painful alternative than continuing to fight a battle lost. You've experienced the very best and the very worst of a path that life could offer, and now you've reached a point where perhaps you end up feeling nothing at all. The truth is hardest to acknowledge, where pushing for something gives you the chance to relive the memories again, rather than let the dust settle and move on. It's done, things never worked out and we continued to be.
The reality somehow never appealed to me. I was always a bit delusional with my view point of life, choosing to believe in the extraordinary. Defiance to common human problems was an addiction hard to beat, a chance to reflect upon as a higher power, one I feel stemmed towards megalomania rather than anything else. Hunger for the chance to be different, to not be burdened by how life could affect you. Yet we are human, and we can break.
It has been a while since I last keyed the point in my life where we had paused off. Perhaps it was something that I mentioned earlier, where I really only write when things aren't going the way I thought they would be. Drifting is a common emotion that I tend to channel, where we tend to experience a blur of moments, each day passing by as a second; as if we induced a rush to escape the moment. Distracted by all else, yet focused on one, it's quite amusing when you think of it. That we as people fail to recognise the speed of time until we reflect upon a chapter closing; then it all slows down. We hurt, embrace in the moment and then move on. Time speeds up. We're a blur again.
The reality somehow never appealed to me. I was always a bit delusional with my view point of life, choosing to believe in the extraordinary. Defiance to common human problems was an addiction hard to beat, a chance to reflect upon as a higher power, one I feel stemmed towards megalomania rather than anything else. Hunger for the chance to be different, to not be burdened by how life could affect you. Yet we are human, and we can break.
Controversial as this may seem, this limbo where currently my mentality exists, is quite comfortable. Think of it as a weightless experience, ethereal yet grounded. There is no significant influence on my life at this point and I remain unshackled by the opinions of others. The hardest part going forward will be to leave this place. To give in to temptation and will yourself to connect on a celestial level with someone who you find worthy. I suppose, there lies to beauty of it. The unknown has a lot to offer, but only time will decide when to invoke it. Till then I wait, a blur again as we continue to be.
