Emotions - Do they matter?

Human beings are a complex species. We have no superior attributes that make us defining creatures and yet here we stand on the brink of reality pounded by reasoning behind our place here on this planet. It's strange when you think of it how we are one of the few inhabiting this place who actually feel inner pain. Emotions dominate our every step of existence and we often tend to mentally define ourselves based on how we feel. We judge, critique, and compare our perceptions of others in a way that seems crude and unworthy of our mental capabilities. Does it make sense to justify why we do what we sometimes? I wouldn't know; after all I'm only human.

These past few weeks have helped me reflect upon my past and the actions I've taken that have led me here. Having never been able to fully express myself I contained and confide my inner thoughts during earlier years, letting in only the closest of my companions. Here at university the inhibition to contain my personality didn't seem pressing enough to warrant the need for emotional control. I feel I grew a bit too careless and suffered the imminent consequences. True it did make me realise the downfall of fully expressing myself but I have learnt from my mistakes and will therefore never do so again.

Is life sometimes all but a game to me? The only reason we play it is to win at the end, so is the journey really that important? I sometimes think of the way I react as a game of snakes and ladders. A bad decision puts you one step down from your goal of happiness where as a good one brings you one step closer. True there are only so many bad decisions we can make before finally learning from our mistakes and moving on. In a way we evolve to reflect on our past choices as reminders of where we went wrong and how we've changed to resolve it.

I feel the more I write about it this, the more difficult it gets to express myself so this is where I decide that any more focus will only deviate this topic into disjointed thoughts. True people are given many chances to prove themselves time and again, but there will be a point sometime in the future where you'll simply give up and choose to live life outside the lines; some might say you're an observer.

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

The beginning of a new journey

Kinda weird isn't it?

I've been at university for nearly two months now and I'm finally getting down towards writing this post. Guess I just felt the time was right. So for now, forgive me for the sudden absence and perhaps read what I've got to say about my new life.

Nothing, repeat nothing prepares you for what life at university really is. Be it staying up till 4 am talking about god knows what or living on a diet of chocolate, I've seen both the best and worst of living an individual life here at Warwick. Let me tell you one thing though, you will never regret a single moment of it, that much I promise you. 

University is where you find yourself, honestly speaking. High school is your final test of strength, the desire to succeed pushes you forward and then suddenly you've found yourself amongst the most amazing people you'd ever imagine meeting. I thought I'd miss my family back home at dubai, my best-friend/brother and of course my amazing sister, little did I think that I'd be getting a new one here. 

My family here at Warwick is a lot like me, guess that's the benefit of college, you find your place with people just like you. There's Harsh, who despite all the rather disturbing jokes about 'fiery penetration' is one of the nicest people I've ever met. By nice I mean he's insane like me, and that is a quality I really value. I've got my clean-freak/ workaholic buddy Aashna who for the love of god needs to stop complaining about every restaurant she eats in. I guarantee you that wherever she goes, she always finds something wrong. Perfectionist complextion maybe! Still, she's part of the puzzle, and without her we're really incomplete. Finally there's  Lasya, my former roomie ( FYI her room looked like a South Indian bomb exploded right in the centre ) and drama companion. Lasya is really, really, really weird, and I mean that in the best way possible. She hates chocolate, so officially she can be listed as psychotic. She also loves to eat stuff then whine about it. I mean maybe it's a girl thing, cause my sister does that as well, but god people food is food. I would like to point out though that I kinda need Lasya to make sure that I don't go mentally insane over here, she's sorta my stress reliver. 

Yeah I suck at explaining, but that's my family in general, cousins and all will come later but for now we're the fail four taking on the perils of UNi together.

... And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way