I'm going to try and let you guys in a bit more so that perhaps you can read along my lines. If you want I'd recommend playing White Lies by Paolo Nutini followed by Conquistador by Juno Reactor (if you feel like it) while reading this post.
"You're going to have fall to hard before you decide to do something about it. Nothing that people tell you matters till you're in the deep-end, drowning. Then you realise."
The way we work is funny. Our perceptions seem to grow more concrete and harder to alter as we form our pathway in life. People have their preferences, their views and their acceptance of what is meant to be; they cement themselves amongst the threshold between perfection and failure and yet constantly criticise the hollowed thoughts of others. Denial to try and failure to believe. Falling down gets easier when you know how to get up more easily.
It's hard for you to believe me isn't it? As your mind races through the memories that somehow hurt even though they may have happened ages ago, and you find yourself brushing them off yet again in an attempt to claim back control. Why though? Why can't you accept the reality of life?
I sometimes have those days where I look back on what has led me to become who I am. Decisions good and bad brought together by fate as the skeptics say and yet we're only one person all alone in this world with hardly the time to make a difference. Why bother then? What makes any of us so different?
Against my better judgement I'm going to leave it here. This is your world, your life and your day as is everyday. Every time you come at crossroads that may make that difference, choose what you feel is the path to take. However, nothing ever stopped you from asking for a bit of help... Life was meant to be different, but it never said anything about doing it alone. Just be willing to make those small changes... You may never know about the big ones that follow.
