Big Chapters Are Sometimes Hard To Close

Been a while since I wrote a post so I thought that it'd be nice to return with a banger of a piece. Now that I've embarrassed myself by saying the word 'banger' (that and the fact that I couldn't spell embarrassed without spell-check) lets get on with what probably is going to be a sad post.

See I even give warnings before starting my piece so that at least you have a heads up for what you're probably going to get yourself into. So now that you've foolishly decided to continue reading perhaps it's time that I actually started talking about today's topic instead of dilly dallying around.

Okay so a while back I wrote a post regarding the tiny chapters in our life. The little mini memories that aren't significant enough to cause any change, but are still worth remembering. Chapters like school trips, summer memories, fights with random people... the list goes on.

However this is different. There are times when major changes occur in your life; Changes you may not expect; Changes you may not event want. Yet they will occur and when they do it's best to realize it, rather than foolishly try and fight for something that was lost long ago.

Sounding rather cryptic aren't I? Well sometimes the closer you look the less you see (Yes I ripped that line off from 'Now You See Me'). Anyways getting back to the original topic. There will be a point when you will find yourself wondering how on Earth did you end up in this situation, with the walls backed up against you and the suffocation setting it. It is at that point that you know you're done, and maybe it's time to sign off from this part of your life.

Sometimes though you don't have control of how a chapter ends. While the norm is for you to have veto power as to how and when a chapter concludes; what happens when someone shuts it for you? In most sense, I as a person know how that feels, and let me tell you, it isn't a good feeling.

Sadly what can you do? Wishing things were different probably won't help; Fighting to keep something that has already ended won't help either. In fact probably the easiest thing to do is to just let go. When you bow to the inevitable, the inevitable becomes the expectation. You knew this would happen and when it did you prepared yourself for it. Perhaps things didn't happen the way you expected them to, but they did for a reason. Now while I'm sorta insane and don't actually know what that reason is, I do know that eventually I will learn to accept it.

To round off what is sure to be either a very confusing or incredibly clear post to all of you out there, let me say this; A chapter is a chapter for a reason, when one begins to close, it signals the start of a new one. So I guess all I have to do is wait now; wait for my next chapter to start.

To apologize for the inconvenience I may have caused by depressing you with this post, here's a Pikachu eating a lollipop. Cheers! 

The Ties That Bind

So this really isn't like any other post I've written (mainly cause it's 4 a.m and I'm half asleep) but nevertheless I still I find it an important one. So to the few of you out there reading this... Try to find the meaning within the lines.

A lonely child of happiness silenced by pain

Brought forth by desire and that of gain 

Rose from the ashes to rule his kingdom he did 

But fell down once again, a stumble upon  his hill

Now time and experience should have taught him well

But foolish his desire that brought him to hell

Now alone he sits once again

Still waiting to etch his life with pen.

Well that's all I've got for you. I think I'll dub this muse 'Broken'. Yeah that sounds about right... Oh and here's an inspirational picture I took. It's actually just the metro lines in my city, but pretend there's a nice quote written across it that makes you feel good . 

Elevation to the Nth Degree

'Don't be afraid to be different'

For it is your difference that will guide you through the hardships you shall face

The pain that once bound you to so many evil things will be released

And you will rise your head towards a brighter future.

A simple thought isn't it? Yet words are only the shell of the big picture, seeing as our actions determine how we fill that shell. True in the end all evil will be vanquished and good with reign victorious. What matters is how much we have to give up to reach that point. Happiness... Most people think they have it, but few have ever been able to understand it.

As a child let me tell you there were few things in the world that brought me happiness. My family and my own world was what I'd escape to when the demons of my insecurities would take control, and I'd hide, miserably ashamed of who I was and what had brought me to this Earth. Yet as I grew so did my desire to find that elusive emotion of happiness. Weirdly enough I had to only begin searching for it when I realized where it was.

Now happiness to me is not something that can be granted so easily. However once earned, I do everything in my power to ensure that I never let go of it. So now the questions remains, what is happiness? What is that sheer emotion of bliss? Where can I find that emotion of pure elation? The answer strangely enough is synonymous to the person who desires it. Only he or she will know what makes them happy, and therefore only they can set the path in motion to achieve it.

To me happiness is a number of things. Making new friends, and more often than not, helping them. Having the perfect day. Being loved by all. Most importantly, I find great joy in learning, especially those life lessons that I keep to myself, for only I know how valuable they are.

What's strange is that I'm writing this post with the feeling of utmost elation. The kind a good song can give to you after a hard day of downfalls. Yet even though I've written so much, I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of what truly this emotions means to some of us. So I ask this to you in conclusion. Stop what you're doing right now, and think about what makes you happy... You'll be surprised by how remembering will bring you so much joy.

The Lone Ranger or The Masses of Sheep?

People don't often realize how the interactions I have with them leads me to learning a life lesson. Certain encounters that I've had have in fact taught me a lot about life. Some lessons were beneficial, others were harsh smacks of reality, but more often than not each lesson I learned would change me as an individual. However I digress from the original topic.

Every person I've met over the course of my lifetime have had different ideals, views and perspective to almost everything and anything. Now while it is true that human opinions are unique, most of the people I met could be classified into groups of individuals with similar characteristics. However there are always those rare few with viewpoints so unorthodox that they question the foundation of everything considered to be the norm. To them, their opinions are only ones they consider worth listening to. Some might say that they are selfish for not taking into consideration the views of others. However it has come to my realization that in the end it is us who makes the final decision regarding any dilemma we face with life, so shouldn't our thoughts matter the most?

Now trust me there are always exceptions to this rule. Some people are so single minded that they are blinded by the desire of others to help them out. They always consider themselves to be right no matter what the circumstances. Whether others think of them as a joke or not, they are their own boss and will fiercely stand by what they say. However their stubbornness eventually leads to their downfall. In essence these individuals are popular to a certain degree. Sadly though this popularity is not one of respect but rather of curiosity. Others are enamored by the resilience of this person who to them is a refreshing break from all the other sheep they interact with. Unfortunately their interest is no more than that of people visiting the zoo and trying to provoke the snakes with a stick. They hunger for the moment when this person finally loses his or her grip on reality and goes spiraling down into a wave of their own emotions.

What I have described in the previous paragraph is an extreme measure of one person's view on an individual's opinion. The polar opposites are in fact far more common then their counterparts. They are those who are addicted to what is considered popular by the masses. Also regarded as 'sheep' these people are always willing to bend their own opinions to suit the generally agreed view. While popular, it is quite likely that in the future, just as trends fade away, they too will not be remembered.

So now the question lies as to where some of you stand in terms of listening to others and having a voice for yourself. As with all things good and evil, tolerance is key. We should not allow what others say to hurt or influence us too greatly. Similarly we should not let wise words spoken go to waste. Each person has something to say. What matters is whether it's worth listening to or not.

Why I'd make a good story teller

So I was reminiscing like usual, thinking about old times and how much they meant to me when I suddenly realized... I can remember shit! Pardon the language but like most people I've met tend to forget nearly everything beyond the last week of their existence. Now I'm not talking about major stuff but rather simplistic stuff; stuff that people forget... Stuff that I weirdly remember.

Acha getting back to the main point. I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to retelling past events, I've got the whole ' Remember that one time...' thing down pat. This is mainly because I love telling stories and freaking people out by all the awkward stuff I remember, and secondly I cherish those memories more than anything else in the entire world (wow that sounded so lame). So as I treat for you people, I thought I'd share a story with you all.

Now while I don't consider this an actual story I feel that it's still a significant part of my life and one I don't mind sharing with you... that and I can't think of anything remotely interesting to talk about. So now I'm pretty sure many of you out there know who Iggy is (in case you didn't he's a lethargic piece of fat that I call a guinea pig) and this is the story of how I got him. Now as I child I loved to blackmail people (still do sometimes) and that plus my re-collective memory meant that promising me anything while was young was a big mistake.

Our story starts 8 years ago when I was at the tender age of 10 (I wouldn't say tender since I was as round as a beach ball) and my family and I were driving out of town for a weekend of relaxation. Now while my mom went to visit the loo when we stopped for a break, I cornered my poor unsuspecting father (never try and outwit my mother). I said to him 'Dad I want a dog (note always ask for something more than what you expect)', to which he laughed in response. Then I played the classic 'cry as loud as you can' card, and the moment the waterworks went off my dad panicked. So to console me he said' Son when you're 14 we'll get you a dog', to which I responded 'Promise?' and then my father made the biggest mistake of his life by not realizing who he was dealing with when he said 'Yes'.

Flash-forward 4 years and my birthday is approaching. I'm like parents I want a dog for my birthday. My mom thinks I'm joking, and my dad seems to have forgotten his promise. However I didn't, and unfortunately my dad got the short end of the stick when he had to explain to my rather 'astounded' mother why on Earth I'd be getting a dog. However, my mom refused to budge on the whole not getting a dog so that meant only one thing... I'd have to get bribed. Now when I get bribed, I get paid off big time. So for that simple promise I made 4 years ago, I was bequeathed a brand new laptop and a tiny pet of my choice (I'm evil I know).

Now the dilemma came up as to what on Earth should I get as my new found companion. I despise birds because I can't pick them up, and cats are a bit too violent for my taste, so the only adorable thing remaining was my beloved guinea pigs. Next came choosing one. When you to go the pet store looking for rodents there are two situations that are most likely to occur. Either they'll have tons of freshly shipped in babies (that sounded wrong as well) or they'll have none at all. I weirdly enough went somewhere in the middle where only a few of the tiny little hairballs were remaining, and that is where I saw him. The tiniest in the lot, his orange colored fur stood out like a warning symbol. What my mom liked about him the most was that literally anything on this Earth would scare him shitless.

Pardon the language but that's actually true and so she thought that he'd be the most harmless for me. Strange enough I knew, that when I held him in my arms, his tiny paws reaching up to my neck, that he was definitely the one for me... And thus I wound up with my first ever guinea pig, though more were soon to follow.

That brings us to the end of our rather weird and maybe sorta retarded story. I'm not sure if it was interesting or not but I definitely had fun reliving the moment, and it was nice to write something other than a depressing emotional post. Who knows maybe if my friends pester me enough (hint hint) I'll write another story for you guys... perhaps one that's more juicier next time.

Mini Chapters & Their Significance

So today I thought that it'd be nice to skip the formalities and get straight into the topic at hand...

They say that every individual we meet during the path of our existence influences us in someway. Whether by teaching us a new lesson, showing us an unusual experience or simply by saying hi to us on a sad day. Yet there are over 7 Billion people on this planet so clearly the people we encounter and the friends we make are a mere micro-fraction of those that surround our life. However for now I'd like to focus on the minor chapters of our lives; the ones that may last only for a couple of months but we still look back upon them with longing of moments past and time well spent.

So now what is a 'Mini Chapter'? Well clearly it can have a different meaning to all of you out there reading this (thanks mom for reading this) but to me it's all about friendship and those brief encounters with people that suddenly seem to disappear as fast they did appear.

Bear with me as I get knee deep in complicated ideas. So over the past few days a couple of really unfortunate things happened (I'm a dick in short) and that got me going through all of my old conversations I've had with people on the various social media platforms I'm part of (Life? I have none). What I found is that over time I've made so many new temporary friends; people I've spoken to, bonded with, even considered friends, and then out of the blue suddenly the conversations stop and it's like they never existed in the first place. Now it's not like I'm complaining or anything. These moments are just a natural part of your life. While insignificant to you when you consider the big picture, there are times when the memories come back and you revel in the fondness of the past. They come and go as they please, but each of them add a new page to your book...sometimes maybe even two. I'm sure all of you have suddenly gotten really close to someone and then randomly they vanished from your life...right? God let me not be the only one going through this *Awkward*.

Wow I lost my train of thought again. Guess that means that this post is over... OR DOES IT?
No really I'm done. Stay loose random strangers who read this, maybe someday you'll be a chapter as well.

Memories that haunt you... And why overthinking SUCKS!

Okay so before I get knee-deep in all these thoughts that have been swirling around my head for the past 3 days let me take a moment to tell you that I got a MacBook! Yay I've joined the rest of the mindless zombies who have caved into Apple's great power. Meh it's still a good machine, though typing can get a bit weird sometimes.

Getting back to the original topic at hand... memories. If you're a guy with issues (A.K.A me) then definitely there are going be moments during the day when you look back at all the shitty stuff you've done with your life and feel absolutely terrible at how you reacted to them. There are still times when I just feel sad at how terrible a person I was and how I goofed up so many times. The irritating part is because of my ability to recollect so clearly, I'm basically reliving those moments day after day, night after night, wondering how I could have done those things... and what would have happened if things had occurred differently?

People always tell me that I zone out sometimes. It's quite obvious when you're staring at me and I look like a somewhat paralyzed dog with my eyes all misty and not at all interested in what you're saying. It's at that point when I'm actually deep inside my own thoughts (wow that sounded weird) wondering how situations will play out if certain elements of it were to be changed. More often than not, I bow to the inevitable, sure that in time what I saw will in fact come true.

In other news I tend to overthink a lot. Like a lot. Like seriously way too much for any sane person to be doing so (well we all knew I was never sane). Thing is I overthink things because that how I've always lived my life ever since I reached high school. As a person who always found it difficult to interact with others (making friends was like playing life on expert mode) I would generally stay in the shadows, watching from a distance and wondering what would happen if I went up to someone just to say 'hi'.

Being a person who is naturally singled out as the 'weird' one, I've come to accept that title as part of myself. Weirdness just seems to flow through me, though I feel what I do is quite normal. Maybe that's the way things are... one person's view isn't the same as the others.

Emotional Foreplay

Arousing title isn't it? Or maybe not... hey I bet this is like word-porn for Grammar Nazis. Moving on from that rather disturbing mental image that is now stuck in my head (I'll describe it for you if you ask nicely) I think it's time I admitted something that I personally have been a part of, and I'm sure many of you out there have been as well.

So Emotional Foreplay, funny kind of thought and even funnier how it is seems to actually make sense. We're all human, so we all have our own flaws, be it physical or mental. This time I'd like to talk about the mental part (don't worry I'm not insane... much) and how sometimes without realizing we abuse the powers of emotions.

Being a teen in his prime (yeah right) definitely hormones are going to be raging (don't take that sexually) and the brain is at it's most vulnerable at this time of our lives. We can read signs wrong, freak out over minor issues for no reason, even do things we're sure to regret in the later years (I know I have). Yet we still push on, confused and disorientated, but without a care in the world... Now the only issue here is that, what happens when those problems catch up with us?

Lately I've been thinking of my past (going to get all deep down here) regarding my life as a bubble, and the more I think the more I wonder how on Earth that bubble hasn't popped considering what all I've done. If you're like me and are awkwardly blunt about your opinions of others, then I'm sure there are moments where you completely regret what may have just said. This problem had unfortunately gotten so bad with me, that literally five seconds after saying something stupid, I'd realize I was an ass and wish I hadn't gone so far. Sadly words can't be taken back once spoken.

Getting back to the main point of this post, I wanted to ask you to think of how you've used emotions for your own purposes. Have you toyed with someone's love? Have you merely pretended to be close friends with a person who trusted you? Have you ever realized that what you're doing right now is wrong? I'm by far the worst person to be asking about this, mainly cause being hurt time after time gives you a sort of surrealistic approach to life. Right now, at this point of time while my fingers brush across the keyboard, I know for a fact that sometimes you've just got put on a brave face. It sucks to always be someone's target, but listen to me and I tell you what I've told nearly everyone who've asked me for advice (god knows why)... 'Let it go, because sometimes... they're just not worth it'.

Anyways that's my view, my perspective and my opinion. Its significance to you I'll probably never know but if it does help... then (and I say this in all honesty) I'm glad I could be of some use. In the mean time lemme show you the people who sometimes are worth fighting for... let's hope I'm right.

Kids Today

I'm not a kid okay? A line I swear to you I've used more often than necessary despite being a fully fledged 18 year old. Yet people always think that I'm a child. Wonder why? More importantly, what's wrong with being a kid?

Everyone around us seems to be growing up so fast that in reality I often wonder, who's the adult, them or I? I mean if you look at statistics I know more 13 year old's who've gone to 2nd base than guys my age. It's like GOD, do you have any hormonal control whatsoever? Wow this is going be a ranting post, and I'm pretty sure it's going to upset quite a few people. Meh, not like I care that much. Okay maybe I do care a little... don't hate me :).

As I was saying, the youth today seemed to have flipped roles with us oldies in general. For starters which sane 15 year old goes shirtless at every party possible? Do they secretly wait to show off their undeveloped child-shaped frame? Do girls even find that attractive? Wow I'm seriously out of the loop if that is considered to be the in-thing in today's world. I mean I get it Dubai's hot, but there's central A.C everywhere. Put your shirt back on man, pneumonia isn't cool.

God I'm going to get so bashed for this :'). Anyways now that I've covered that topic let's get onto parties when I was fifteen, and parties for today's fifteen year olds. For starter I'm pretty sure there was no alcohol. A DJ maybe but not always. Pool parties nah (we were socially awkward back then). Weirdly enough I'm kinda jealous now. These guys were having a lot more fun than I ever did as a youngster (I'm still young just not kid young). Still I mean we got brains, they got fun. I think in the long run it's going to be okay. Also which underage girl goes to a nightclub to get wasted with a fake ID? Have you lost all sense of purpose or is this just a phase? Seriously I'm curious.

Yeah I'm probably hated by literally the entire junior population (nothing new) but this is my blog and I'm allowed an opinion, albeit a critical one. Now let me just set the record straight over here. Not all the people of this young generation are like this. While most tend to be somewhere in the middle of this classification, there are always extremes on both sides. I've also discovered something new. Depending on the high school you go to, you can easily distinguish the type of teenage life you'll have. Again this view is subject to debate but most of the schools with an international curriculum are a lot more party-crazy than the others who follow a different education board. Now I'm not sure why this happens or how, but it does and in my opinion things are getting mighty out of control.

Still though I guess it's only fair that I end this rather debacle of a piece with a bit of advice. Trust me for I say this to you out there with all sincerity. Partying is fun, but don't ruin your chance at a successful future just because you love to enjoy yourself. The future is going to be either fun or an absolute hell. This depends on what you do now. So take a break from the partying... maybe do a bit of actual kid stuff. Like us.

I Found Something Louder Than Words

Ironic that I'm writing about this? Yes? No? Oh... you don't care. Well I didn't think that you did anyways. Still it's nice that you're hear, so maybe read the rest of this now that you've already started.

With the development of Social Media platforms, written communication has become the most sought out form of communication, action or interest. People can do virtually anything online and frankly all of us have been affected by the magical wonders of the internet. So naturally that got me thinking, what happened to reality? Have we become so engrossed in the cyber world that we've begun to shun physical interaction? I don't think I have the answer for that but the thought still kind of scares me.

Anyways what I wanted to talk to you people about was in fact real life. I swear to you I've literally been through this situation wherein I find it easier to talk to a person via social media platforms rather than in real life. This is mainly cause I get really awkward during conversation gaps, and I unfortunately speak faster than a jack rabbit on fire. For those of you who didn't get that last reference... I speak fast -_-.

So now you're probably wondering what's wrong with virtual means of communication? Well for starters I've sorta forgotten how to actually have a decent prolonged conversation with a person. I mean aside from a few close friends, the only way I really get to know someone is through whatsapp where I mindlessly drive them crazy (sorry). Also until recently where a certain *annoying* friend forced me to talk to them on the phone, I was completely anti-phone conversation. This actually had been a life long thing and normally I'm quite afraid of actually picking up the phone and calling someone to just randomly talk to them. Still I learned and I can honestly say I'm not that afraid anymore... I now have a new fear of not knowing when to shut up when talking to someone (oh the problems in life).

Really I'm sure that this post will have no significance to you for you may be quite frankly happy with how you presently interact with others. Well I'm not; I don't think that simply chatting through your phones can help you actually get to know the person... So for now I guess I've found something louder than words.

Being Me

Sometimes being a teenager can be the most frustrating thing alive... Now while I did take that first line from an Archie Comic (which yes I still do continue to read) it doesn't mean it's not true. There are so many variables in a teen's life that the amount of pressure coming from different directions can be almost unbearable. There's just not enough time in the day for us to get everything done; and this is coming from the guy who's on summer vacation where things should be generally a lot more peaceful. Sadly they're not, and while I'm sure that half the problems I'm currently facing are a lot smaller than my mind seems to make them be, nevertheless they're still a nuisance.

So this post was about something that we keep forgetting to fully exploit, ourselves. Confusion? Yeah I know what you mean, I didn't understand it at first. See I think I said before that there's always got to be compromise somewhere, right? Well that doesn't mean that you actually forget who you are as a person. They some people who are pushovers, always giving into what others want. Be it parents or friends, there's always going to be someone telling you what to do and how you should do it. They influence how you think and who you are and think that just because they have some hold on you that they now control you.

Okay so maybe I'm exaggerating the whole control bit, seeing as if that were true then we'd all be mindless drones (well I'm already half way there). Seriously though, I wanted to write about this because every once in a while I decide to do what I want, regardless of whether anyone wants to join me or not. Now I'm not talking about going crazy and deciding to fly to Malaysia (thought think about how much fun that would be) but instead doing something without waiting for opinion, approval or interest. I just get up and get going... but maybe that's just me and maybe I'm kinda crazy. While I'm figuring that out, Ramadan Kareem! I'm available for all and any Iftars if interested.

Why having a mentor rocks

So maybe I'm trying to suck up here but let me do what I want okay? It's my blog so I control it. As I was saying (wow I've gone power mad) we all need a mentor in our lives.

Now I'm not talking about the whole 'Karate-Kid' I'll teach you how to avenge your ancestors type of mentor. I'm talking about the person who helps you get a grip on reality when you feel you're about to slide off the rails. Luckily I've found mine... well at least I think I have; she considers me her project to make perfect. :P

So anyways back to the whole mentor idea and why it's awesome. Let's be honest, there is probably no one in your life right now you knows what you're actually going through except for people who've already been in your situation. Those people are basically your potential candidates for a mentor. However finding the right one can be difficult.

Firstly, they need to be sane (mine is borderline) and be well grounded onto reality; unlike me whose head keeps floating in the clouds. You also need to be close to them but not close enough that they become a close friend. This is important, they should be just there to monitor and advise, not hang out with (though once in a while it's okay). Most importantly, they should show genuine desire to want to help you. Now that can be the hardest part to find. A dedicated mentor is perhaps the most difficult thing to identify, but don't worry, there are good people all around the world today.

Now while I'm pretty sure most of you will take this post as a joke and consider that I've gone stark raving mad at 1 o'clock in the morning, please for the love of god take my advice. Find someone now! Someone who understands you. Someone who you feel is the right one to take as a role model. Okay so maybe I am sucking up, but I can't help it, I've found my life guide. Or maybe I'm retarded .

Minor Irks of Friendship...

I had two reasons for writing this post. One because I realized that writing it all out helps give me a clearer perspective of my situation, and two, because I hoped that those of you out there reading this would be able to understand what I'm feeling.

Every now and then there comes a point where one of our friends becomes a downright nuisance. You may not realize it, you may wonder how it happens but more often than not you will find yourself regretting becoming friends with that person. There's a period we go through symbolizing this where they say every action, every word spoken by that person seems to irritate the hell out of you. That individual becomes a pesky fly that you just want to swat or make it go away. The weird part is you can't ignore it since because that person is a part of your life you will, needless to say, be spending a certain amount of time with them daily. So now what? In my opinion downtime from that person I feel is the best cure. After all they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... Unless that person has become an absolute dick for no reason; then screw logic and chuck em like a burnt potato.

For those of you wondering where I'm going with this post, don't worry I'm not done yet (oh the joy for you). Actually I also wanted to talk about another element of this slightly toxic relationship called friendship. You'll probably be able to relate with me for this one. I'm sure for each of you at some point of time there has been a situation where someone close to you has let you down. Now I'm not talking about doing something that's a game breaker for the relationship. No I'm talking about minor disappointments, stuff the other person may have not realized but you have. Like plans you were really looking forward to being suddenly cancelled. Or wanting to meet someone after a while but the other person not giving any effort towards making that happen. Now believe me these are just thoughts of mine that seem to float about aimlessly in my head. To me they seem true but it could be a whole other reality for you. Nevertheless this is my blog, these are my words so like I enjoy saying... Deal with it.

Now you're probably wondering when I'm going to shut my trap and end this post (figuratively speaking); be patient I've only got one last thing to point out. So this is a thought that I've really been wanting to express for a while now but haven't been able to find an outlet till today. A few days ago I witnessed a scene that made me finally realize that friends can be classified into two separate categories, those who are there for you through the good and bad and those who are there to have fun... And I'm sure right after you've read that you're already classifying your current friends circle into the two groups and deciding to only keep those who will be there for you. The thing is if we did that, we'd all be left with very, very few friends. There has to be a balance of all kinds even in this case. Getting back to the original situation, a friend of mine (well actually more acquaintance than friend) recently found himself in a bad situation. Now of those who are close to him who were present with us at that time only one volunteered to help out whereas the others merely criticized the situation as a waste of their time. Wow that was a lot harder to explain than I thought it would be without actually giving away what happened. So that brought me to thinking, if I was stuck in that person's shoes, who would help me out. Now I don't mean merely provide cheer support from a distance, I mean actually getting deep into my troubles and helping me solve them. Hmm I can't seem to think of anyone. Maybe I need new friends, or maybe it's time to meet new people. *Disclaimer* To all of you out there reading this, before getting mad after reading what I may or may or not have said about you, take a deep breath and consider why this might be true.

Anyways I guess I just needed to get this all out, it's high time I started writing about what I feel, even if it is to a bunch of complete strangers... or maybe I'm retarded, yes that definitely could be an option.

How Awks can Awkward get?

Okay so for the first time I've given some indication of what I've decided to write about today. I mean unless you're blind or suffering from the social disease of popularity, then you know what it's like to feel awkward.

Speaking as a true aficionado of this glorious emotion I have over the years accumulated many an awkward situation. Birthday parties where you know no one. Meeting a person after ignoring their last message to you on whatsapp.  Worst of all I believe is when you accidentally make fun of someone who's right next to you and they hear what you're saying. Oh the memories :')... they'll haunt me forever.

So today while reveling in those glorious moments, a curious thought came upon me. How awkward can being awkward get? I mean what defines the upper limit of an awkward situation. I remember this birthday party of a friend of mine where all the guests would cling to each other in separate groups leaving this one guy completely by himself. No strangely that wasn't me (I'm amazed myself) and weirdly I could understand how the guy was feeling. Nobody likes to be left out... especially when you're the only one who is.

Hmm, what other situations have I been in where my awkward meter was off the charts... Oh yes the time when I found out that a friend of mine whom I had trusted with an incredibly 'never to be disclosed' secret went stark crazy and told the whole world. The fact that that person freely admitted to telling it made the whole situation even more awkward. I mean it's like I'm telling you to not stab yourself and the next second the knife is through your ventricular arteries (Science Bitch).

What's weird is that compared to a girl, a guy's awkward situation barely scratch the surface of how bad it get. Now I'm not saying that this rule applies to all females in general but the basic idea is that each day a woman somehow manages to wreck 4 lives and have her life wrecked 4 times as well... there's gotta be balance somewhere.

So now I'm curious, suppose there's a big chart somewhere out there that shows how awkward your situation can be on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being social hell. Now I have a couple of ideas of what could constitute a 10 but then I wouldn't want my account to be banned for explicit language. Till the time that freedom of press actually becomes a thing I guess I'll catch you later.

Btw a friend of mine told me about a show named Awkward. The name came to me just as I finished writing this post... Awks.

Survival 101... Your room

It's funny how weirdly everything seems to happen to me on a daily basis. It's like the big guy up there just loves to add a little variety to my life... and clearly I'm not complaining. Currently I'm locked in my own room due to unforeseen circumstances of my door jamming. As I wonder how on Earth these kind maintenance staff are planning on breaking me out, a new question comes to my mind... if I were stranded in here for a day how would I plan on surviving.

No this isn't a suburban version of Lost, rather a more realistic approach as to how people would fend for themselves. Now currently I've already eaten dinner and am therefore taking this situation rather less seriously than I would have, had I been hungry. I suppose in extreme cases I could eat my guinea pigs (I mean in Peru and Argentina they're considered a delicacy) but in all reality I could never harm them; that and the fact that I can't stomach raw hairy food. 

Regarding water I'm sure I could drink the tap water and like test the UAE government's claim of how safe it is to consume. Mercifully I have a bathroom en-suite so that takes care of basic hygiene. I also have a ton of clothes so I guess the only problem now would be what to eat. 

Hmm this is turning out to be quite problematic. I still haven't figured how I'm going to sustain myself. I do have a big window but that can only be opened slightly. I guess should the situation demand it people could climb a ladder and deliver plates of food to me (and hay for the guineas). Yes! That's it! Problem solved, I have no need to panic... though I'm sure my mom will still freak out (moments after writing this my prediction came true).

So now I'm curious about you guys (my non existent readers). Look around you, if you were in my situation what would you do and would you be able to survive? Frankly I'm surprised I've made it even this far... but then again, I always was a fighter. While I'm locked in, enjoy what I feel accurately represents my life currently.

'The Hobbit' would be a lie in today's world

So today I find myself stuck at home with absolutely nothing at all to do. *Smirks* Nothing at all. Anyways I don't count writing as doing something since it comes naturally to me (take that Selena Gomez). However I drift from the main point of this post; the fact that I know literally no one who wants to go on an adventure. :(

If you've watched 'The Hobbit' then you know what I'm talking about. At this point in my life all of my friends are currently Bilbo Baggins pre-adventure. They're boring, comfortable and quite happy to live with a common routine. In short they're lethargic people who refuse to actually do something for a change. I swear to god 'Make a plan' has got to be the most irritating thing alive to hear when you're a teenager. Now don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy to think of something to do, but when I offer suggestions don't plainly shoot them down as if it were target practice. I mean you're the one who's bored not me, so when I decide to do something, say yes for a change. You'd be surprised at how much fun it is to actually go out and do something rather than spend hours endlessly arguing over the phone about doing something.

Getting to the next point of this post. I love it how everyone automatically assumes I free whenever they're bored and want company. It's like they believe I have virtually nothing better to do with my time rather than sit at home and wait next to the phone for their call. Lets get this straight, my day is just as exciting if not more than yours and you should not go all ape shit angry on me when I politely say no. You know the main reason why I enjoy my life? I make the effort to get the very best out of every day that I live (conscious or unconscious... mostly unconscious).

Wow, I've got to stop ranting... Well I guess this isn't a rant more like a learning experience. When the time comes that you decide to get off your backside and do something, then and only then would you understand why I love just plain living.

Also (it's a twist to this cranky post) I'd like to point out of how some people have virtually no sense of adventure. I mean if Bilbo Baggins had said 'Screw you Gandalf' how on Earth would the producers of the movie be able to exploit more money from the series? I mean you've got to consider that the producers need to make their millions to survive.

Ahh I'm adrift again from the original point of this post (this tends to happen usually). So before I forget what I was writing about again let me end of here with a wee bit of advice; just a wee bit. Like the freaky ABBA group once said 'Take a chance' (I cut out the 'on me' part for that quote to make sense so sue me). Life's too short to be talking on the phone. Might as well meet the person and talk then. Till next time...

Sometimes Mood Swings Rock!

I'm Happy! My god, joy is in the world today.

Until you came into it and I decided I hate your face and the entire world that surrounds it.

Maybe I'm  hungry for love... or a bowl of pasta? This is really confusing isn't it?

Body, seriously MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Either I'm happy or sad, good or bad, freaky or mad. This has got to stop. Erm only problem is... how do I do that?

So if you haven't guessed by that rather interesting first paragraph ^  and the obvious title (seriously you must be blind) I'm talking about mood swings. They say that being a teenager is a lot like having 5 different people inside you at the same time. Pardon the sexual references but I couldn't think of any other metaphor and so this is all I've got.

Seriously though it's kind of funny how literally the smallest things can lead to a dramatic change in personality for a short period. It's like playing Mario and you suddenly eat the mushroom that makes you shoot bullets from your body. Okay so maybe not exactly like that but you get what I'm saying... right?

Take for instance yesterday when I broke into the house's chocolate storage and after a perilous struggle (easy-open my ass) I finally unlocked a new box of Galaxy chocolates and went to town on that thing;okay I had three but it counts okay. Anyways right after that sugar-styled ecstasy I sorta got a sugar high and for half an hour my mind went into overdrive. I mean I think I messaged 12 different people I've never spoken to before in my life, poked 6 different friends and read an entire lifetime's worth of tips on how to reduce hair fall for guinea pigs (don't judge me). Even  today when I was feeling low after yesterday's energy burst, the song 'Pump It' by the Black Eyed Peas came on and I randomly burst into hysterical laughter. For those of you questioning my sanity (come on I know you all do), the reason why I lost it was that I couldn't get the video of the baby dancing to that song out of my head; seriously check it out on YouTube, it is definitely worth it.

Funny how random things cause us to change our moods right? I guess that proves to show how unpredictable life can be. So this post goes out to all the freaks like me who can't control there emotions and know what I'm talking about. *Sigh*, it feels good to be a teenager.... at least for now I can blame it on the hormones.

Why everyone is related to Pinocchio.

Yes it's true. I bring you startling evidence that deep down inside we're all made of balsa wood and are blessed by a fairy to one day become a real boy (ladies sorry for the gender bender, blame Disney not me). Now let's see, there are three aspects of Pinocchio that I can remember from my childhood. The first two, while useful to understand I find less significant  compared to the third element.

For starters Pinocchio is a wooden boy. Now I can get all fancy with my choice of words and tell you in 5 different ways of how this is useful to know. Instead though I'll preserve my dignity (and your interest) and lay the whole thing out simple. So being made of wood is a real bummer. I mean splinters everywhere. It also means you're completely at risk of your surroundings with the greatest threat being mankind. Similarly there will always be people in your life wanting to cut you down and turn you into toothpicks (the minty kind with the green tips). So should you let that get you down? Damn straight you shouldn't! You should be like little Pinoke and always have faith in yourself. The little tyke believed that he was a real boy and he eventually became one. Follow in his wooden footsteps..

Our next big reveal is that Pinocchio had an issue with lying. Now if you're as bad as me when it comes to lying (I blush like crazy) then obviously this isn't an issue for you since nobody believes you anyways. However for the rest of you more skilled at this fine art, lying really is like a time bomb waiting to go off. Now I'm not saying that your nose will grow or anything, although think of how epic that would be, but it's definitely going to bite you on your behind later on. Trust me, I have friends who I know still regret not being upfront when faced with a difficult situation. They learned 'big time' that lying, never works. However this rule only applies to lies you use to save your butt, I mean lies to keep people's dignity intact are still sorta okay.

Our final element of this amazingly confusing post is that Pinoke was a puppet, and in reality so are we. Now this is a bit more difficult to explain as there quite a few ways in which strings have been stitched through our ligaments. Let see, there are firstly those who are influenced by the media. People sporting designer bags like it actually matters. A bag is a bag, status symbol or not; if the world ever does end up being destroyed by a giant fireball, that shit is toast. There are also those led astray by social pressure. Peoples actions, harsh remarks, and snide jokes directed towards you can usually push you against a wall of your own decisions.Eventually you'll be forced to climb it only to fall down flat on your back. Finally and most importantly there are those who are led astray by individuals. Deceivers, two-faced friends and sadly people who toy with your emotions have all in some way been part of our social circle. The part that most of you won't believe is that each one of us has played these roles as well, although till this day we may remain blissfully unaware of the harm we caused to people. For those of you on the receiving end, the effect is almost painful to witness. It destroys your belief in humanity and trust when your perception of a person is completely changed by that one sudden action that deep down inside you'd always hoped wouldn't occur. Wow I sorta lost myself in my words over there, but I really hope I didn't go overboard like I usually do.

So now that I've mercilessly analyzed a simple Disney movie better than any literature teacher could, I guess I'll let you in on why then the movie still brings a smile to my face every time I see it... his name is Jiminy Cricket. Our conscience in the form of a friend. Someone who's there to see you through the wrong and guide you into the right. True he is a bug and max has a life span of what like 6 weeks, but at least he's useful enough to keep around (totally wrecked that emotional moment).

Wow I didn't know Disney had so much thought involved when they wrote the screenplay for the movie. Or maybe that's just me and my crazy overactive imagination. Still I now have an outlet, even it's a small one. I guess this is the end? Till next time my brain decides to go haywire this is me saying 'buh-bye'.

Fending for yourself... and why I'm likely to starve

I'm HUNGRY! To put it mildly... and there's absolutely nothing in this stupid fridge that can provide sustenance. So now what? *Shudders* Heaven forbid I have to actually cook. I can almost feel the judgement coming from my mother who always told me to learn. Ah well, guess we all start somewhere, don't we? So today I thought I'd shed a little light on what it's like to actually live by yourself.

No jokes, life isn't always a party (though I secretly wish it was), and once in a while you need to focus and act responsible. Now as a teenager, I think Oxford should have an edited version of their dictionary; one that doesn't include the word 'responsible' or any synonyms for it anywhere in it's 334 pages (yes I googled that). It's just not natural for teens to be responsible. Like the unwritten law of opening doors for the opposite sex, everyone knows that teenagers and responsibility do not go together. So then what happens when we're forced to become self reliant? In one word... Chaos!

So let's see how badly a teen can mess up his daily life. For starters I woke up today at 12:30pm because I unfortunately forgot to set my alarm and party due to the fact that I went to bed at 3am in the morning. So naturally I missed my morning run and it was too late for breakfast although I did manage to burn two pieces of toast and call it food. Since I was too lazy to do the laundry yesterday I didn't have any of my regular clothes to change into so I was forced to wear some of my older items that make me look like a shady extra in the carnival (not even the main attraction, an 'extra'). I couldn't find anything to make for lunch so I ended up ordering Chinese and trust me no one likes egg rolls in the afternoon. Moving on to when I finally sat down to do some work I realized that I had forgotten to feed my pets. Naturally there was no hay since I had forgotten to buy some, so off I went to Animal World. Like usual the tank was empty so I spent another half an hour at the pump, and just to top things off, when I reached the store the owners had gone out for lunch. The sad part is the day has just started and already I feel like the end is near.

So maybe my version was a bit extreme but I'm sure at some point of time in your life things have piled up so much that they literally collapsed onto each other. It's like a cascade of unforeseen events, all of which seem to wreck havoc on your schedule. Weirdly though I guess this is how you learn. I mean sooner or later all of us at some point of time will have to grow up and fend for ourselves... unless you're Veronica Lodge, that chick has enough dough to buy her way of life. For the rest of us though, I guess it's two minute Maggie and an endless supply of Kinder chocolates until we learn to cook...

Friends, the weird glass cannon.

I swear to God this better not be a depressing post -_-. I'm tired of being all melodramatic so for a change I thought I'd write a bit more about reality and the important lessons to be learned from it.

Now I'm betting that 50% of you will have no idea whatsoever of what I'm talking about whereas the other 50% will get what I'm dishing out almost immediately. So for the modest 50% of you who have no idea what I'm talking about as well as the curious few of you who enjoy reading what I have to say (you're probably crazy), let me elaborate on why I've decided to link one of life's necessities to an awkward analogy of a weapon.

Okay so for starters what is a glass cannon? Clearly if you haven't gotten a basic idea by now, then perhaps you need some help. Still for convenience sake, I'll explain it all out. In essence a glass cannon is basically a metaphor for something that seems incredibly strong and powerful but yet breaks at the slightest touch. Now to me, friends and friendship is a lot like that.

Before you get ahead of yourself and automatically decide you've read enough and instinctively shut this link, let me at least explain what I'm trying to get at. As I was saying friends and friendship is lot like a glass cannon. Think about it, they've always been there for you, strong, everlasting and powerful enough to help see you through almost anything you encounter in life. Yet there are those moments where that tiny precise element that puts them at risk leads to the shattering of any link or concern they may have had for you.

Now as the saying goes ' it's every man for himself'. Clearly this should have been written as a rule of conduct when it comes to those you spend your time with. I mean trust me there are times when you're cursing yourself for being foolish enough to trust some people. So then why keep friends at all? The answer is quite simple, the human body hungers for interaction. Good or bad, love or hate, we need to interact with the rest of the world to function sanely. If not you might end up like me, lost in a world of your own thoughts, and trust me you do not want that.

So that's my take on this perilous topic and somehow I've turned one of nature's greatest gifts into a curse. Yeah I definitely have issues. Yet I weirdly enough have a lot of friends. Maybe opposites attract? The socially awkward teenager that can't seem to stop getting to know people. That would be an epic movie plot. Till then I'll just keep to myself, with writing keeping me company...

Disappointment... And why Imagination is better than Reality

Clearly I've realized that most of you have probably gotten bored with my whole 'depressing post' syndrome but this my blog so I'll say to you what I say to everyone else who criticize me, 'Deal with it'.

Now that we've got that out of the way let's move on with why I've decided to go all Devdas and write this ridiculous piece. Feeling disappointed is natural I guess, especially to teenagers who often complain about life not being fair. Truth be told some of us really don't realize how lucky we are because we choose to whine about the little things that we feel seem to matter. Now don't get me wrong, it's good to care about the little things, but making a big deal about a tiny problem won't solve anything. Someone once told me, 'Keep low expectations for everyone, cause in the end they're all going to let you down'. I don't think he realized how significant that one sentence would become or whether or not he too had played a part in it.

So now I'm going to take a slightly different route to this morose post and question why people get disappointed; perhaps the answer lies in the image we expect to be created, and the harsh reality that soon follows. To be honest (wow never thought I'd say that), a major contributor towards why we feel low is because of what we had hoped would happen.

These fantasies we devise, the scenarios we create and the pictures we envision are all grossly over exemplified and lack the discord that reality brings with it. Think about what I've said here (if you can understand it), haven't there been times when you were excited for something solely because of how you anticipated it would be, only to be let down when things didn't go the way they were planned? If that's the case then join the club, for everyone and anyone has at some point of time been deceived by their own imagination.

So now what? I for one really love immersing myself into the visions I can create inside my head, oblivious to my surroundings and free from all the negativity. Sadly though I can't stay in my dream world for very long, and sooner or later it's time to face to perils that reality brings with it. So from this I'll leave you with a piece of advice...  while imagination is good, and creativity is sometimes necessary to add a bit of mystery to your life, you should never let it take control of how you perceive life and how you decide to live it.