Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

To New Beginnings (Part 2)

I'm going to start this week's post with a story. It is a true story but I'll be using attributes here and there from people I know.

There was once a very, very lonely boy. He spent all of his time by himself completely disconnected from the world around him. He thought he could never trust anyone around him since he was always the one getting picked on. As a result he thought he didn't require friends; he believed that people were fools if they felt that they needed others to help them get on with their lives.

The years passed on and this boy grew up lonely and miserable. His joy came from degrading others since he felt he was superior to them. He was the king of his own world yet he didn't realize that the population was only one. As the years passed his hatred was channeled towards other things. His greed to prove himself better at everything made him work harder than anyone else at everything he set his mind to. He prospered, and for a little while he was happy at the top. However, he soon realized, that when you're better than everyone else, there isn't anything left to chase after. Unhappy even with his new found success, the boy vowed to change himself.

He first tried being a person of multiple personalities. The air of mystery surrounded him and people were curious as to see who this person was. However personalities are only as good as their consistency and the constant lashing out to his friends pushed them away as he tried to once again dominate a group he felt he was better than. He didn't realize that there were aspects to life that even with all his determination he couldn't become good at. So he fought and argued and pushed those who cared for him further and further away; so much so that whatever concern his friends had for him was dissolved into a sea of hate. Clearly things weren't going the way they planned so the boy abandoned these people and chose a new group to find.

For his next attempt at climbing the social ladder, the boy chose a different route. He made a great success as a mentor to others, using his knowledge to make friends with those he felt his intellectual equals. However his jealously grew whenever he was outperformed and a rift was created that he felt wasn't worth repairing. He engaged in gossip as a hobby and found great happiness in interfering in other peoples lives. This would be okay to an extent if the reason for inquisitiveness was out of genuine concern rather than the boy's selfish desire to know more about others than everyone else did. His smug look of all-knowing was what brought fear into many of his friends who were afraid by what he could do with the information he knew about them. However, once the gossip was used up, the boy grew bored and moved onto the next group of unsuspecting individuals with a different idea as to how to be popular amongst them.

For his final try at popularity. The boy chose to be the complete opposite of the person he actually was. He tried to seem friendly and kind to those around him, and was perfectly willing to open up about his life to anyone who chose to ask him. Yet no one could actually say that they truly knew what he was thinking. Nobody could understand what sort of person the boy actually was and to an extent that intrigued those around him even more. He was mysterious, fun at sometimes, and quite appealing to anyone around him. However, there were those times when he seemed unhappy for no reason whatsoever and when questioned by his friends the boy simply blew them away telling them it was nothing at all. Now since a relationship is a give and take job, those around him were unhappy by the way they were being treated and chose to distance themselves from the boy. Depressed by how everything in his life seemed to be going wrong, the boy cursed the world for bringing this upon him and chose to simply abandon everyone and start anew.

Our story ends here.
If you're wondering what happened to the boy, twenty years down the line he was found by all three groups of his old friends and they were amazed by how he had changed. For the first time since they had known him, they found the boy happy. Genuine happiness, the kind without a single drop of greed, hatred or envy hidden underneath. When asked what brought about his drastic change he simply replied, " I stopped trying to be what others wanted me to be and simply chose to be myself".

For this story there are 8 different people I've used for inspiration. Each of them had their own personal share of demons and these have been molded into the story that I've created.

If you're wondering why I'm writing this post it's because for many of us a new year is dawning. As we know every year we promise that this one will be different. Yet halfway down the line we give up on our promises and resort back towards our old comfortable versions of ourselves. After all if change were that easy, then staying constant wouldn't be considered a word.

However, I'd like to give you a bit of advice that a lot of people have told me over the years.

Be 'humble'

There's not much more of itself I can say. Seeing as humbleness is the most difficult thing to achieve in this world, it's no wonder so many of us claim to have achieved it. Let me tell you something, if you thought to yourself after reading the above line, that you were humble, then definitely you are not.

Being humble comes without realization and it is probably one of the greatest gifts one can receive. While I am by no means an expert on this particular topic, heck I'm not even a novice, I do know what happens if you aren't humble and trust me it isn't all that great.

I wanted to write more but I think I'll stop now. Seeing as most of you probably have school the next day, I've probably made you late for your first day. Still I'm glad I could share this with you, seeing as the true significance of this post is far more than what it appears to be. Till next time.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Been a while hasn't it? I'd say welcome back but we all know that no one is desperate enough to continue to come back to this site. So instead I'll start of with a friendly 'hello' and hope that what I'm probably going to write right now will seem interesting enough for you to spend a couple of minutes on.

So earlier this week results came out. Now these aren't your regular end of term 'next-time-I'll-do-better' results, this is the real life-deciding deal; and for many of us they weren't what we expected. So now how do we deal with that? I could stand here spouting all sorts of bull crap about how things will get better, and of how life has set you on a new better path, but we all know that I'll be wasting your time with complete and utter nonsense.

Let's face it. This sucks. Definitely if your future was suddenly taken away from you, you wouldn't want consolation. You'd want to smash things; curse the world for being cruel; maybe even go on a wild rampaging spree... anything basically besides listen to someone tell you that it's probably for the best.

As a person who's been on both sides of the roads I know how frustrating it is from either point of view. If you're the one being consoled, you're seriously considering ripping out the throat of the one consoling you. If you're the one consoling, you know that if it were you in the opposite person's position, you wouldn't even wait around to listen to your shit.

So now what? Well to me I feel there are 3 stages that people in this situation go through.

First is grief - The eternal sadness of not achieving your dreams has finally hit you. Waves of guilt, vulnerability and most of all pain overcome you. You seem lost for a few moments as you contemplate 'what now?'. The thing that hurts most probably is if you're a self conscious person like me, you will always wonder whether people will now view you as a failure. This is your biggest challenge that you'll face, and you have to overcome it if you even plan on moving on

Next is blame - You've finally accepted your current situation and now you're on the warpath looking for someone to blame for what has happened. Maybe it's your friends who insisted you keep on partying late into the night. Or your parents for taking you out constantly when you felt you should have studied. Lets be honest (say the first two words fast) you are the own freaking boss of your destiny. Do not forget that you agreed to most of these things whether knowingly or not. Call it peer pressure, family pressure or any other pressure, you gave into it rather focus on your goals and now you're paying the price. When you finally realize this, you'll seriously wish that the price wasn't so high.

Finally is revival - This stages could come frequently in-between the other two former stages, but you'll know it's real when you finally start to let go. When you decide that enough-is-enough and moping around won't help anyone, you've finally started the healing process. What is soon to follow is the desire to do better. Changes to your lifestyle could either be radical or they could be slow and progressing. Whatever they may be it is important to realize that these changes do not guarantee success in the future. They could be obliterated as you settle back into your old habits, or simply not strong enough to make a difference. However they are something you're willing to try out for the time being. Therefore you've opted to take a different path, preferably a brighter one as you move out of the shadows and back into the sunlight.

So now that I've basically written out my life-story in these few paragraphs I'm hoping you'll at least be able to relate with me and what I'm talking about. True, disappointment sucks but you're only making it worse by letting it take a hold of you. We're only human for god's sake. Mistakes are bound to happen but that doesn't me that we let them take us down. We simply get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the trail to find happiness.

In all honesty, the 'pursuit of happiness' is a battle, and if you're not fighting, then it isn't happiness that you're looking for.

Elevation to the Nth Degree

'Don't be afraid to be different'

For it is your difference that will guide you through the hardships you shall face

The pain that once bound you to so many evil things will be released

And you will rise your head towards a brighter future.

A simple thought isn't it? Yet words are only the shell of the big picture, seeing as our actions determine how we fill that shell. True in the end all evil will be vanquished and good with reign victorious. What matters is how much we have to give up to reach that point. Happiness... Most people think they have it, but few have ever been able to understand it.

As a child let me tell you there were few things in the world that brought me happiness. My family and my own world was what I'd escape to when the demons of my insecurities would take control, and I'd hide, miserably ashamed of who I was and what had brought me to this Earth. Yet as I grew so did my desire to find that elusive emotion of happiness. Weirdly enough I had to only begin searching for it when I realized where it was.

Now happiness to me is not something that can be granted so easily. However once earned, I do everything in my power to ensure that I never let go of it. So now the questions remains, what is happiness? What is that sheer emotion of bliss? Where can I find that emotion of pure elation? The answer strangely enough is synonymous to the person who desires it. Only he or she will know what makes them happy, and therefore only they can set the path in motion to achieve it.

To me happiness is a number of things. Making new friends, and more often than not, helping them. Having the perfect day. Being loved by all. Most importantly, I find great joy in learning, especially those life lessons that I keep to myself, for only I know how valuable they are.

What's strange is that I'm writing this post with the feeling of utmost elation. The kind a good song can give to you after a hard day of downfalls. Yet even though I've written so much, I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of what truly this emotions means to some of us. So I ask this to you in conclusion. Stop what you're doing right now, and think about what makes you happy... You'll be surprised by how remembering will bring you so much joy.