When did we suddenly grow up?

Warning - Reading of this post may potentially waste away 5 minutes of your precious day filled with stuff which you planned on doing but probably will end up cancelling.

Okay so once again I've been feeling the mood to write so I thought why not tackle a little issue that I'm sure a few people have been feeling lately or least are itching to talk about. The past few weeks back home in Dubai and this last year in general has been a bit of an eye-opener for me. I got more interested in job applications than what my juniors were doing, swapped day long naps with an evenly (read 'evenly') balanced scheduled and weirdly enough stopped caring so much what some people thought of me. Arguments over stupid things seemed like an irritation that I'd rather avoid and in all honesty I got bored quite fast of what the entire world was up to. When on Earth did I ever start self-reflecting? God knows but I kinda like it. Anyway getting back to point of the ever impending change of our teenage lives.

I'm probably being a hypocrite for writing this but then, it's my blog so what are you going do? Still writing helps me think clearly so I felt it useful that I at least give this piece a shot.

So now for the few of you out there who are like me and seem to find life amidst transition what exactly are you feeling? To me growing up meant the freedom to leave the house at 1:30 in the morning, drive really fast to the beach and just sit down and stare at the ocean. Now typically you'd need a set of extraordinarily trusting parents and a car with an amazing sound system to basically blast your music into. It also meant the change of actually knowing what was right and wrong when it came to making decisions. I started trusting my instincts more and knew that the opinions I held, flawed to say the very least, were at least honest based on how I felt. Focus became an important issue and I desired to take more of life in rather than aimlessly watch the days fly by. True my daily routine got hectic, tiring and I often felt overworked, but I loved every sweat inducing moment of it.

In all honesty I wrote this post to challenge the minds of those who may be still within that cycle of leaving a part of their lives behinds and beginning a new one. What do you feel you need to give up? What exactly brought you down? Did the things you did matter so much?

So a friend of mine lately brought up this rather disturbing piece of news that I won't get into but it somehow drifted towards me turning 20 in a few months time. Now most people are genuinely terrified about entering a new era of their lives but to me it weirdly seems like a welcome change right now. Maybe it's because when I look back at the past 19 years of my life, the problems I've faced, the person I used to be and genuinely what I've become I can confidently say, at least to myself, childhood well spent.

Now if you can give me a chance to go through a bit of a memory trip, I have a little challenge for you. Take out a little piece of paper and jot down the numbers 10 - 19 on it. For each year write down one defining moment in your life be it good or bad and appreciate the fact that you're still standing after all of it. If you can do that, then trust me when I say this, it's going to be alright. For the younger ones, try and fill up till the point where you are right now and aim to fill each remaining space with a memory that actually will withstand the passage of time. For you, the greatest gift of all is what can be.

Well that's probably all I have to talk about right now. I mean it's not much but I kinda like how my thoughts seem to spell themselves out into words. It seems to make everything, a lot more human...

Till next time.

The Brilliance of Life, Understanding it... and other Shenanigans

I seem to enjoy posting at the most awkward of times it seems like. I mean practically most of you must be in hibernation mode with your nose stuffed into books as if they were providing you with life giving oxygen. Still it's been a while so I thought why not. Since the final term of university is upon us and with year one coming to a close I thought I'd look back at some of the things I've learnt and draw upon why they mattered.

For starters, I know for sure that this year I lost nearly half of my high-school friends to the unfortunate passage of time which slowly eroded any relationship that I might have had with them throughout our teenage life. It seemed saddening at first but then I realised that it was a necessary change to occur. We as individuals don't realise that sometimes we make friends to maintain the social convenience rather than actual mutual interest with each other. The so called 'gangs' we had as teenagers seems as if a thing of the past. Truth be told there was a lot of tension within those gangs and it seemed natural that after a while the ties which held us together slowly started to fade as we realised the insignificance of them. What was that irritating line in frozen ? Right 'It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small'. So with all of us so far away, the stress of trying to always fix things didn't come to me and I felt liberated by the fact that if things were meant to happen this way... then they happened for a reason. Not that I don't miss each and everyone of them though, the friends I made in highschool were a great bunch so it does sting that we've grown so far apart.

Making temporary snow cones - Like a boss

Another thing I feel I must point out is that university is a lot about balance. Honestly this lesson took way too long to learn but it felt good when I eventually did. I mean in all honesty it's all about bringing as much of your life's old routine back into your university life. Be it as simple as a game of football with your friends, or waking up early enough to actually have breakfast and lunch. Balance is an important part of our life even if we don't realise it. Bring back what was once good for you, take on those that improve you and discard those that don't. Most importantly I finally found a place where I can truly relax and feel as if I'm not simply living in a place that I'm here for temporarily but rather the potential for a permanent home. In all honesty I did rob that last line from one of my history lectures wherein the countries that the British invaded either prospered or collapsed depending on whether or not the migrants wanted to settle or simply rob the place of its resources. Funny how education comes up in the weirdest of places

Finally I felt humbled for the first time in my life to be a part of something so large and brilliant. University truly gives you the channel within which you can witness the world from a safe haven. Honestly I can come across as cocky, arrogant and even downright crude sometimes, but I'm learning to change, and one of the most important factors that caused that it is realisation that without the desire to improve, you're always going to be bested by others who do. You can sit on your laurels of the past and gloat about your glory days, but I'd much rather fall down multiple times, dust myself off and get right back up and face any challenge. Whether through life's successes, or personal development in the case of me, humility through gain and most of all a desire to keep fighting, this is a journey that I have yet to even reach the fork roads of. 

What I do believe though is that there's a lot more left to learn and I plan on cherishing every moment of it that I can. Summer is nearly here and there's a lot left to do. Till then...

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

The beginning of a new journey

Kinda weird isn't it?

I've been at university for nearly two months now and I'm finally getting down towards writing this post. Guess I just felt the time was right. So for now, forgive me for the sudden absence and perhaps read what I've got to say about my new life.

Nothing, repeat nothing prepares you for what life at university really is. Be it staying up till 4 am talking about god knows what or living on a diet of chocolate, I've seen both the best and worst of living an individual life here at Warwick. Let me tell you one thing though, you will never regret a single moment of it, that much I promise you. 

University is where you find yourself, honestly speaking. High school is your final test of strength, the desire to succeed pushes you forward and then suddenly you've found yourself amongst the most amazing people you'd ever imagine meeting. I thought I'd miss my family back home at dubai, my best-friend/brother and of course my amazing sister, little did I think that I'd be getting a new one here. 

My family here at Warwick is a lot like me, guess that's the benefit of college, you find your place with people just like you. There's Harsh, who despite all the rather disturbing jokes about 'fiery penetration' is one of the nicest people I've ever met. By nice I mean he's insane like me, and that is a quality I really value. I've got my clean-freak/ workaholic buddy Aashna who for the love of god needs to stop complaining about every restaurant she eats in. I guarantee you that wherever she goes, she always finds something wrong. Perfectionist complextion maybe! Still, she's part of the puzzle, and without her we're really incomplete. Finally there's  Lasya, my former roomie ( FYI her room looked like a South Indian bomb exploded right in the centre ) and drama companion. Lasya is really, really, really weird, and I mean that in the best way possible. She hates chocolate, so officially she can be listed as psychotic. She also loves to eat stuff then whine about it. I mean maybe it's a girl thing, cause my sister does that as well, but god people food is food. I would like to point out though that I kinda need Lasya to make sure that I don't go mentally insane over here, she's sorta my stress reliver. 

Yeah I suck at explaining, but that's my family in general, cousins and all will come later but for now we're the fail four taking on the perils of UNi together.

... And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way 

In my opinion...

All work and no play makes Danz a dull boy. That's a lie, I was always dull.

Hopefully that horrible joke on me would be enough for you to forget that I haven't written in over two weeks; I've been busy okay! Still I'm here with yet another rather insignificant thought of mine, hoping that you can relate.

So lately I've been under the impression that everyone loves to get their own two-bits in. Let's face it, people love listening to themselves, so whenever they get the chance, they shove their own views and perceptions wherever they go.

Now this generally isn't a bad thing. By all means, I feel that getting advice from as many people as possible is vital for a sound decision. Still there are limits even for advice. People like to think for themselves sometimes and don't always need to be spoon-fed. In today's world with everyone telling you what to do and how to do it, I feel that in the big picture we're all a bunch of robots without individuality.

So now when is enough, enough? See, I feel that opinions are divided into two categories; the views that benefit, and the views that vent.

The views that benefit are the sincere ones made by people who have decided to take an unbiased approach to your situation and therefore are offering you advice out of genuine concern. These people weirdly enough aren't often the ones closest to you. Those people are too involved in your life to offer an unbiased decision. More often than not people listen to those they are closest to and take advice on views that have a set agenda. These people want your life to follow a path that 'they' feel is best for you, not what is best for you overall. Yes I get that this is confusing but let me ask you this, if you're a person who regularly goes to friends for advice, don't you get a bit irritated once in a while when they refuse to have an opinion that actually matters and instead they rather choose to agree with whatever you have to say. That's not advice, that's a yes-man *Movie Reference :)*

The views that vent are something you have to look out for. These are people who will take your situation and somehow change it into their own. It's like going to someone for advice about your own particular situation only to have them relent on about what happened to them. I get that experience matters, but really once in a while I'd like someone to just shut up and listen. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite for writing about this seeing I too tend to go on about my life every now and then *understatement of the year* but this is just basic advice for those that are reading this. A different kind of 'views that vent' are those which somehow seem to make any difficult situation you encounter, entirely your fault. These are the people who are of the opinion that when things go sour, you're the one to blame. Now not only is this unfair but it kinda sucks! So watch out for the ones that have always had something against you, and are waiting to stick it to you the moment a situation arises.

Wow didn't think I could actually write that much, okay no wait I did. Consider this making up for lost time seeing as I'm probably going to get super busy now that I'm leaving for university. Still this is my life, and I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in time for this somewhere. Till then enjoy some random photo that does not even remotely go with the title, that I've grabbed from my phone :).

To New Beginnings (Part 2)

I'm going to start this week's post with a story. It is a true story but I'll be using attributes here and there from people I know.

There was once a very, very lonely boy. He spent all of his time by himself completely disconnected from the world around him. He thought he could never trust anyone around him since he was always the one getting picked on. As a result he thought he didn't require friends; he believed that people were fools if they felt that they needed others to help them get on with their lives.

The years passed on and this boy grew up lonely and miserable. His joy came from degrading others since he felt he was superior to them. He was the king of his own world yet he didn't realize that the population was only one. As the years passed his hatred was channeled towards other things. His greed to prove himself better at everything made him work harder than anyone else at everything he set his mind to. He prospered, and for a little while he was happy at the top. However, he soon realized, that when you're better than everyone else, there isn't anything left to chase after. Unhappy even with his new found success, the boy vowed to change himself.

He first tried being a person of multiple personalities. The air of mystery surrounded him and people were curious as to see who this person was. However personalities are only as good as their consistency and the constant lashing out to his friends pushed them away as he tried to once again dominate a group he felt he was better than. He didn't realize that there were aspects to life that even with all his determination he couldn't become good at. So he fought and argued and pushed those who cared for him further and further away; so much so that whatever concern his friends had for him was dissolved into a sea of hate. Clearly things weren't going the way they planned so the boy abandoned these people and chose a new group to find.

For his next attempt at climbing the social ladder, the boy chose a different route. He made a great success as a mentor to others, using his knowledge to make friends with those he felt his intellectual equals. However his jealously grew whenever he was outperformed and a rift was created that he felt wasn't worth repairing. He engaged in gossip as a hobby and found great happiness in interfering in other peoples lives. This would be okay to an extent if the reason for inquisitiveness was out of genuine concern rather than the boy's selfish desire to know more about others than everyone else did. His smug look of all-knowing was what brought fear into many of his friends who were afraid by what he could do with the information he knew about them. However, once the gossip was used up, the boy grew bored and moved onto the next group of unsuspecting individuals with a different idea as to how to be popular amongst them.

For his final try at popularity. The boy chose to be the complete opposite of the person he actually was. He tried to seem friendly and kind to those around him, and was perfectly willing to open up about his life to anyone who chose to ask him. Yet no one could actually say that they truly knew what he was thinking. Nobody could understand what sort of person the boy actually was and to an extent that intrigued those around him even more. He was mysterious, fun at sometimes, and quite appealing to anyone around him. However, there were those times when he seemed unhappy for no reason whatsoever and when questioned by his friends the boy simply blew them away telling them it was nothing at all. Now since a relationship is a give and take job, those around him were unhappy by the way they were being treated and chose to distance themselves from the boy. Depressed by how everything in his life seemed to be going wrong, the boy cursed the world for bringing this upon him and chose to simply abandon everyone and start anew.

Our story ends here.
If you're wondering what happened to the boy, twenty years down the line he was found by all three groups of his old friends and they were amazed by how he had changed. For the first time since they had known him, they found the boy happy. Genuine happiness, the kind without a single drop of greed, hatred or envy hidden underneath. When asked what brought about his drastic change he simply replied, " I stopped trying to be what others wanted me to be and simply chose to be myself".

For this story there are 8 different people I've used for inspiration. Each of them had their own personal share of demons and these have been molded into the story that I've created.

If you're wondering why I'm writing this post it's because for many of us a new year is dawning. As we know every year we promise that this one will be different. Yet halfway down the line we give up on our promises and resort back towards our old comfortable versions of ourselves. After all if change were that easy, then staying constant wouldn't be considered a word.

However, I'd like to give you a bit of advice that a lot of people have told me over the years.

Be 'humble'

There's not much more of itself I can say. Seeing as humbleness is the most difficult thing to achieve in this world, it's no wonder so many of us claim to have achieved it. Let me tell you something, if you thought to yourself after reading the above line, that you were humble, then definitely you are not.

Being humble comes without realization and it is probably one of the greatest gifts one can receive. While I am by no means an expert on this particular topic, heck I'm not even a novice, I do know what happens if you aren't humble and trust me it isn't all that great.

I wanted to write more but I think I'll stop now. Seeing as most of you probably have school the next day, I've probably made you late for your first day. Still I'm glad I could share this with you, seeing as the true significance of this post is far more than what it appears to be. Till next time.

The Fork Roads of Life

There will come a time in your life, perhaps not now or even a couple of years, but you will encounter a situation where a difficult decision has to be made, and when you do  you'd better hope to god that you've made the right now.

These decisions could be anything. However, the one thing that they will all have in common is that they will shape out a new path in your life based on the choice you make. They are those that make you look back and think, "What if I had done things differently?".

Being quite cryptic right now aren't I? I'm not sure if I am since this is usually how I tend to write a piece that I have difficulty in stringing together. It's like I want honesty but prefer the covering of falsity. Still, at least I'm making this attempt, so bear with me while I most likely make a fool out of myself writing this.

Anyways getting back to the topic of Fork Roads. You will need to make a choice and most of the time people look back with a mixture of curiosity and regret at what could have been a change in their life. I'm here to clear that feeling of doubt.

They say that when you first encounter a difficult scenario, your brain instantly registers the most desired situation acceptable and drives you towards that. However that only last for a short period of time, and the more you think about it, the bigger the worry becomes. When you make a choice, it should be one that reflects on what you feel is right to you, not anybody else around you. It is your life in reality and it is yours to choose how to live it. Let me tell you something; the person who knows you the best is YOU so it is your opinion that will matter the most to you. Do not be influenced by the words of many and forget the most important thoughts of one.

However to be completely unbiased, this scenario is quite subject to change depending on the ability of someone or something to influence your decision and give you the confidence to take a choice you were hesitant about. Still that rarely happens although think of how interesting that would be.

Yeah I may have just gone full retard with that post, so this is probably the most relatable thing you've ever read or the most useless one (I anticipate it's the latter for the most of you). Still it is my thoughts, my words and my actions, and as I've just pointed out what you say shouldn't really matter should it? After all you can be like this cat and say "Screw it".

When it hasn't been your day, week, month or even your year

Yes I know, I'm referencing F.R.I.E.N.D.S again but I can't seem to help myself. The more times I listen to their ridiculously addicting theme song, the more I realize how many lessons are stuffed into that tiny 3 minute piece of catchy music. So for now, like I say to everyone desperate enough to come to this place, "Deal with it", and sit back and listen to what I have to blabber about.

So being honest with all of you, this year hasn't been a particularly good so far. In fact it was downright crappy to be honest (wow never thought I'd be doing a TBH for myself) and lately I've come to realize that when life gets you all down and in the dumps getting depressed and whining about it won't actually do anything (like I'm doing so right now). Instead it's time to put on your black shades and show everyone that you're the boss of your own destiny. Wow I'm both gangsta and deep at the same time.

Yes this isn't one of my typical depressing morose ass posts mainly cause I've realized I've had enough of being down in the dumps. Now is the time to celebrate what's left of this memorable year, since if we don't, no one else will for us. While I get that what I wrote about in the previous sentence was probably the most retarded piece of advise I can ever offer you (and I've offered some pretty retarded advice), I still feel that it's valuable if you take it to heart.

Okay so now I know that summer vacation is ending quite rapidly and you probably don't have much time to read any of my weird thoughts, I'll just let you guys off easy and cut this one short. Remember though *Puts Shades On* it's time to get back and start living once again. I may have been partially high while writing this one, so come back later on this week for a nice little story.

So I had this brilliant little idea about the #ShadeChallenge. Basically take a photo wearing shades which proves that you're willing to make the difference to get better at life. Send me a pic and I'll probably write something I know about you.

Monica Ahuja [A.K.A Monz] The 'Bubble' is one of the newest additions to my friends circle (lol I need to have more than one to even make a circle) and has long been regarded as the bookworm with an edgy streak for partying. This year she showed her true colors as the fanatic wonder we've all come to know and love. Considering the fact that she's my slightly more sane sister, it's no wonder that I'm writing something nice since I know she'll get me something delicious for lunch tomorrow. Here's to the girl that still whines when we have a minute left one the parking ticket and put in a new one.This is her accepting the fact that it's time to put *DeM Shades* on.

Shirley D'Mello [Shirls/Shirlbombs] Easily the 'Wild Child' of the group, this is probably the only person who can match my ability for taking selfies. Body conscious but yet willing to flaunt it without a care, this lady and I have been through both hell and heaven (mostly hell since she's scratched me so many times). Completely willing to speak her mind, shirls may either be the most honest person I know, or the most insane (keeps changing). Weirdly unable to drive anything bigger than a nissan 'tida' this crazy african fashion girl plans on getting her 'Saudi in Audis' on very soon. Dibs on the first ride. This is her getting her photo-editing skills on with the #shadechallenge

Mahek Punjabi [Punju] was somehow a person who came into all of our lives through a weird turn of events. I mean normally I don't go to a school for just one year but I guess when you're as blonde as my friend above here, things like that tend to happen... not that I'm complaining. Now see when you're a person like Punju, you use your blondness to your advantage. Weirdly enough this girl is actually pretty smart. Like brainy with looks kinda smart. So definitely it's going to take some effort to get to know her. However once you do, you'll have her rolling her eyes at every corny thing you do (Come to think of it, I probably have a video of her doing that), and when she does, you know it's a sign that you've done something pretty stupid. Still when you're friends with her, I'm guessing that's okay. After all she can't even take a picture without it not being blurry ^. Still I wouldn't give up meeting her for all the kinder bars in the world (not sure about the opposite since she loves them). Anyways, this is her proving to all that she's as much a boss as anyone else and accepting the #shadechallenge while driving. Kids don't use that as a role model

Ruchika Bhatia [Ruch] The girl who's literally engaged to Tim Hortons, Ruch has always been that slightly weird friend that loves to party. As if being born with a multiple personality disorder wasn't enough, Ruch was given the enormous gift of not being a morning person. If you ever see her early in school during the week STAY BACK or she will attack. Apart from that though I'm not sure exactly how I feel about her. She's a curious individual in the sense that you can never know what she's thinking about. Maybe that's because she's not thinking about anything, but mostly it's some rather deep wordly issue. Oh yes she also prefers monkeys that look better than teenage boys. This is her going all gangsta and sending me a seriously cheesy pic of her accepting the #shadechallenge. Guess her and I will be doing this a lot in the coming months. P.S. if you ever get her mad, she WILL scream at you.

Misbah 'Ninja/Nundu/Potato' Mandai is a free thinking soul who is quite temperamental as she is rebellious. She's a lot like an uncorrupted version of someone I know, which makes her both entertaining and yet presentable to parents. Bit of a dare devil really, she's not afraid of bunking class once in a while if it's for a good cause. Weirdly though she and I have the most random of all talks imaginable, not to mention she sends me the LAMEST jokes alive. I mean it literally makes me face palm every time she whatsapp's me a joke. Still it's kinda awesome of how she's both good at Art and is going to culinary school to most likely become a chef. So long as the portions are large and crazy friends eat free, I'll be more than happy to visit her restaurant in the future.

Sydelle "Syd" D'sa. You must be VERY careful. It's not D'souza it's D'sa. Get that wrong and then she gets mad. First time I met her was in India this year where she randomly mentioned having a heart in her legs. However, she was more than happy to point out that she saw me while I was in my 'bulky' (okay I was a whale) phase and running around Zabeel Park. I swear to you she is in love with her cat. It's a fat, adorable, lethargic thing and I've got more pictures of it in my phone than I do of myself (if that's even physically possible). She's a rather shy girl at first, preferring to be part of the crowd rather than a headliner. However, she does open up once in a while and boy it is pure joy when she does; mainly cause she only talks about what she's passionate about, and if she does then she suddenly comes to life. Addicted to chocolate and a hard core non-veg, Syd dreams of a day when bacon salad is a thing. Still she's probably the nicest person I'll ever meet.

Raveena 'Ravs' Kriplani is seriously the gangsta with nerd goggles. So maybe I'm getting a bit exhausted writing all of these posts but I said I'd do it so here I am. Moving on, Ravs was weirdly a person I've always considered a lot like me but yet somehow different. For starters I don't call my car the "Ravsmobile" nor do I have the ability to run on 2 hours of sleep everyday. I also do plan on living for quite a while which is why I didn't do 6 whole A levels while in high school, yet Ravs thinks she can cope. Aside from the nerdy business Ravs is a person who loves to party, and when I mean party I mean party (emphasis on party). She's also quite the badass and is known to bunk a multitude of classes when she just isn't 'feeling it'. Quite the image conscious one, Raveena gets a bit upset if pictures of her go up that are less than 'perfect'. After all if that's what you're trying to be in life then every aspect must be as well. All in all, she's the kind of person you'll meet once but won't forget, sort of like me except you'll actually want to remember her.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Been a while hasn't it? I'd say welcome back but we all know that no one is desperate enough to continue to come back to this site. So instead I'll start of with a friendly 'hello' and hope that what I'm probably going to write right now will seem interesting enough for you to spend a couple of minutes on.

So earlier this week results came out. Now these aren't your regular end of term 'next-time-I'll-do-better' results, this is the real life-deciding deal; and for many of us they weren't what we expected. So now how do we deal with that? I could stand here spouting all sorts of bull crap about how things will get better, and of how life has set you on a new better path, but we all know that I'll be wasting your time with complete and utter nonsense.

Let's face it. This sucks. Definitely if your future was suddenly taken away from you, you wouldn't want consolation. You'd want to smash things; curse the world for being cruel; maybe even go on a wild rampaging spree... anything basically besides listen to someone tell you that it's probably for the best.

As a person who's been on both sides of the roads I know how frustrating it is from either point of view. If you're the one being consoled, you're seriously considering ripping out the throat of the one consoling you. If you're the one consoling, you know that if it were you in the opposite person's position, you wouldn't even wait around to listen to your shit.

So now what? Well to me I feel there are 3 stages that people in this situation go through.

First is grief - The eternal sadness of not achieving your dreams has finally hit you. Waves of guilt, vulnerability and most of all pain overcome you. You seem lost for a few moments as you contemplate 'what now?'. The thing that hurts most probably is if you're a self conscious person like me, you will always wonder whether people will now view you as a failure. This is your biggest challenge that you'll face, and you have to overcome it if you even plan on moving on

Next is blame - You've finally accepted your current situation and now you're on the warpath looking for someone to blame for what has happened. Maybe it's your friends who insisted you keep on partying late into the night. Or your parents for taking you out constantly when you felt you should have studied. Lets be honest (say the first two words fast) you are the own freaking boss of your destiny. Do not forget that you agreed to most of these things whether knowingly or not. Call it peer pressure, family pressure or any other pressure, you gave into it rather focus on your goals and now you're paying the price. When you finally realize this, you'll seriously wish that the price wasn't so high.

Finally is revival - This stages could come frequently in-between the other two former stages, but you'll know it's real when you finally start to let go. When you decide that enough-is-enough and moping around won't help anyone, you've finally started the healing process. What is soon to follow is the desire to do better. Changes to your lifestyle could either be radical or they could be slow and progressing. Whatever they may be it is important to realize that these changes do not guarantee success in the future. They could be obliterated as you settle back into your old habits, or simply not strong enough to make a difference. However they are something you're willing to try out for the time being. Therefore you've opted to take a different path, preferably a brighter one as you move out of the shadows and back into the sunlight.

So now that I've basically written out my life-story in these few paragraphs I'm hoping you'll at least be able to relate with me and what I'm talking about. True, disappointment sucks but you're only making it worse by letting it take a hold of you. We're only human for god's sake. Mistakes are bound to happen but that doesn't me that we let them take us down. We simply get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the trail to find happiness.

In all honesty, the 'pursuit of happiness' is a battle, and if you're not fighting, then it isn't happiness that you're looking for.

Dealing with double sides

Ever wondered why you act differently when you're around people? No? Seriously does nobody think about these things at all? Ah well I do, and as long as I continue to do so, you're all suctioned into listening to what many people (nearly everyone) say is absolute bull crap. Still as they say, "Better to have some crap rather than none at all". Okay I have definitely broken the weird scale now. On with the post.

So lately (well basically right now) I've been thinking of how our attitude/personality/whatever the hell defines us, changes as we interact with different people. I've been the soft spoken, shy and inbound child; the over zealous and annoying boy wonder; the chilled out trophy kid; and most of all I've been the person no one forgets. Aren't I adorable? No I thought so. Just remember... I know where you live -_-

Moving on. I find myself wondering whether or not we have any control as to which personality we choose to first introduce ourselves with when meeting people. Like say you're like me and you're born with multiple personality disorder; what's your go-to personality? Frankly I tend to shift in between them depending on how the person I'm interacting with, appears

Now you've probably gotten the general gist of what I previously mentioned, but just for convenience sake, I'm going into this a little bit more deeper. They say that in the social circuit, there are four roles that are most common; there's the Alpha, the one with the prominent personality who takes the role of the leader; the Beta, who isn't respected by all but is valued by the Alpha as the person to go to for advice; the Sideliner, who are quite content being part of the group and find no need to jump positions, and finally there's the Bandwagon who loves to be around Alphas and will jump cliques if they find someone interesting enough.

After that rather complicated revealing, let me mix things up even further and see if you can take it. You know like I said we change our personality depending on the person we're interacting with... well that personality is one of these roles superimposed on us according to whether we think the other person is an Alpha, Beta, Sideliner or Bandwagon.

Take for instance the person you're about to meet seems charismatic, fun and sociable. Naturally you perceive them to be either an Alpha or a Beta and accordingly you decide whether you want to adopt a more outgoing role of the current social clique, or stay in the shadows until you feel comfortable.

See that's the problem. So many times I've met people who seem completely nice at one point of time, and the next moment when you're surrounded by different people he/she is a complete asshole. Not sure why that happens, and truthfully I've played the same role as these people many times. I guess it's just natural for us humans to change how we behave based on our perception of the other person. Hmm seems kinda pointless seeing as we're all part of the same washed up species. Ah well, we humans have a tendency of never learning. Maybe though in the future things will change. Till then here's hoping I don't adopt another random ass personality. I think 3 is enough.

Big Chapters Are Sometimes Hard To Close

Been a while since I wrote a post so I thought that it'd be nice to return with a banger of a piece. Now that I've embarrassed myself by saying the word 'banger' (that and the fact that I couldn't spell embarrassed without spell-check) lets get on with what probably is going to be a sad post.

See I even give warnings before starting my piece so that at least you have a heads up for what you're probably going to get yourself into. So now that you've foolishly decided to continue reading perhaps it's time that I actually started talking about today's topic instead of dilly dallying around.

Okay so a while back I wrote a post regarding the tiny chapters in our life. The little mini memories that aren't significant enough to cause any change, but are still worth remembering. Chapters like school trips, summer memories, fights with random people... the list goes on.

However this is different. There are times when major changes occur in your life; Changes you may not expect; Changes you may not event want. Yet they will occur and when they do it's best to realize it, rather than foolishly try and fight for something that was lost long ago.

Sounding rather cryptic aren't I? Well sometimes the closer you look the less you see (Yes I ripped that line off from 'Now You See Me'). Anyways getting back to the original topic. There will be a point when you will find yourself wondering how on Earth did you end up in this situation, with the walls backed up against you and the suffocation setting it. It is at that point that you know you're done, and maybe it's time to sign off from this part of your life.

Sometimes though you don't have control of how a chapter ends. While the norm is for you to have veto power as to how and when a chapter concludes; what happens when someone shuts it for you? In most sense, I as a person know how that feels, and let me tell you, it isn't a good feeling.

Sadly what can you do? Wishing things were different probably won't help; Fighting to keep something that has already ended won't help either. In fact probably the easiest thing to do is to just let go. When you bow to the inevitable, the inevitable becomes the expectation. You knew this would happen and when it did you prepared yourself for it. Perhaps things didn't happen the way you expected them to, but they did for a reason. Now while I'm sorta insane and don't actually know what that reason is, I do know that eventually I will learn to accept it.

To round off what is sure to be either a very confusing or incredibly clear post to all of you out there, let me say this; A chapter is a chapter for a reason, when one begins to close, it signals the start of a new one. So I guess all I have to do is wait now; wait for my next chapter to start.

To apologize for the inconvenience I may have caused by depressing you with this post, here's a Pikachu eating a lollipop. Cheers! 

Elevation to the Nth Degree

'Don't be afraid to be different'

For it is your difference that will guide you through the hardships you shall face

The pain that once bound you to so many evil things will be released

And you will rise your head towards a brighter future.

A simple thought isn't it? Yet words are only the shell of the big picture, seeing as our actions determine how we fill that shell. True in the end all evil will be vanquished and good with reign victorious. What matters is how much we have to give up to reach that point. Happiness... Most people think they have it, but few have ever been able to understand it.

As a child let me tell you there were few things in the world that brought me happiness. My family and my own world was what I'd escape to when the demons of my insecurities would take control, and I'd hide, miserably ashamed of who I was and what had brought me to this Earth. Yet as I grew so did my desire to find that elusive emotion of happiness. Weirdly enough I had to only begin searching for it when I realized where it was.

Now happiness to me is not something that can be granted so easily. However once earned, I do everything in my power to ensure that I never let go of it. So now the questions remains, what is happiness? What is that sheer emotion of bliss? Where can I find that emotion of pure elation? The answer strangely enough is synonymous to the person who desires it. Only he or she will know what makes them happy, and therefore only they can set the path in motion to achieve it.

To me happiness is a number of things. Making new friends, and more often than not, helping them. Having the perfect day. Being loved by all. Most importantly, I find great joy in learning, especially those life lessons that I keep to myself, for only I know how valuable they are.

What's strange is that I'm writing this post with the feeling of utmost elation. The kind a good song can give to you after a hard day of downfalls. Yet even though I've written so much, I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of what truly this emotions means to some of us. So I ask this to you in conclusion. Stop what you're doing right now, and think about what makes you happy... You'll be surprised by how remembering will bring you so much joy.

Mini Chapters & Their Significance

So today I thought that it'd be nice to skip the formalities and get straight into the topic at hand...

They say that every individual we meet during the path of our existence influences us in someway. Whether by teaching us a new lesson, showing us an unusual experience or simply by saying hi to us on a sad day. Yet there are over 7 Billion people on this planet so clearly the people we encounter and the friends we make are a mere micro-fraction of those that surround our life. However for now I'd like to focus on the minor chapters of our lives; the ones that may last only for a couple of months but we still look back upon them with longing of moments past and time well spent.

So now what is a 'Mini Chapter'? Well clearly it can have a different meaning to all of you out there reading this (thanks mom for reading this) but to me it's all about friendship and those brief encounters with people that suddenly seem to disappear as fast they did appear.

Bear with me as I get knee deep in complicated ideas. So over the past few days a couple of really unfortunate things happened (I'm a dick in short) and that got me going through all of my old conversations I've had with people on the various social media platforms I'm part of (Life? I have none). What I found is that over time I've made so many new temporary friends; people I've spoken to, bonded with, even considered friends, and then out of the blue suddenly the conversations stop and it's like they never existed in the first place. Now it's not like I'm complaining or anything. These moments are just a natural part of your life. While insignificant to you when you consider the big picture, there are times when the memories come back and you revel in the fondness of the past. They come and go as they please, but each of them add a new page to your book...sometimes maybe even two. I'm sure all of you have suddenly gotten really close to someone and then randomly they vanished from your life...right? God let me not be the only one going through this *Awkward*.

Wow I lost my train of thought again. Guess that means that this post is over... OR DOES IT?
No really I'm done. Stay loose random strangers who read this, maybe someday you'll be a chapter as well.

Kids Today

I'm not a kid okay? A line I swear to you I've used more often than necessary despite being a fully fledged 18 year old. Yet people always think that I'm a child. Wonder why? More importantly, what's wrong with being a kid?

Everyone around us seems to be growing up so fast that in reality I often wonder, who's the adult, them or I? I mean if you look at statistics I know more 13 year old's who've gone to 2nd base than guys my age. It's like GOD, do you have any hormonal control whatsoever? Wow this is going be a ranting post, and I'm pretty sure it's going to upset quite a few people. Meh, not like I care that much. Okay maybe I do care a little... don't hate me :).

As I was saying, the youth today seemed to have flipped roles with us oldies in general. For starters which sane 15 year old goes shirtless at every party possible? Do they secretly wait to show off their undeveloped child-shaped frame? Do girls even find that attractive? Wow I'm seriously out of the loop if that is considered to be the in-thing in today's world. I mean I get it Dubai's hot, but there's central A.C everywhere. Put your shirt back on man, pneumonia isn't cool.

God I'm going to get so bashed for this :'). Anyways now that I've covered that topic let's get onto parties when I was fifteen, and parties for today's fifteen year olds. For starter I'm pretty sure there was no alcohol. A DJ maybe but not always. Pool parties nah (we were socially awkward back then). Weirdly enough I'm kinda jealous now. These guys were having a lot more fun than I ever did as a youngster (I'm still young just not kid young). Still I mean we got brains, they got fun. I think in the long run it's going to be okay. Also which underage girl goes to a nightclub to get wasted with a fake ID? Have you lost all sense of purpose or is this just a phase? Seriously I'm curious.

Yeah I'm probably hated by literally the entire junior population (nothing new) but this is my blog and I'm allowed an opinion, albeit a critical one. Now let me just set the record straight over here. Not all the people of this young generation are like this. While most tend to be somewhere in the middle of this classification, there are always extremes on both sides. I've also discovered something new. Depending on the high school you go to, you can easily distinguish the type of teenage life you'll have. Again this view is subject to debate but most of the schools with an international curriculum are a lot more party-crazy than the others who follow a different education board. Now I'm not sure why this happens or how, but it does and in my opinion things are getting mighty out of control.

Still though I guess it's only fair that I end this rather debacle of a piece with a bit of advice. Trust me for I say this to you out there with all sincerity. Partying is fun, but don't ruin your chance at a successful future just because you love to enjoy yourself. The future is going to be either fun or an absolute hell. This depends on what you do now. So take a break from the partying... maybe do a bit of actual kid stuff. Like us.

I Found Something Louder Than Words

Ironic that I'm writing about this? Yes? No? Oh... you don't care. Well I didn't think that you did anyways. Still it's nice that you're hear, so maybe read the rest of this now that you've already started.

With the development of Social Media platforms, written communication has become the most sought out form of communication, action or interest. People can do virtually anything online and frankly all of us have been affected by the magical wonders of the internet. So naturally that got me thinking, what happened to reality? Have we become so engrossed in the cyber world that we've begun to shun physical interaction? I don't think I have the answer for that but the thought still kind of scares me.

Anyways what I wanted to talk to you people about was in fact real life. I swear to you I've literally been through this situation wherein I find it easier to talk to a person via social media platforms rather than in real life. This is mainly cause I get really awkward during conversation gaps, and I unfortunately speak faster than a jack rabbit on fire. For those of you who didn't get that last reference... I speak fast -_-.

So now you're probably wondering what's wrong with virtual means of communication? Well for starters I've sorta forgotten how to actually have a decent prolonged conversation with a person. I mean aside from a few close friends, the only way I really get to know someone is through whatsapp where I mindlessly drive them crazy (sorry). Also until recently where a certain *annoying* friend forced me to talk to them on the phone, I was completely anti-phone conversation. This actually had been a life long thing and normally I'm quite afraid of actually picking up the phone and calling someone to just randomly talk to them. Still I learned and I can honestly say I'm not that afraid anymore... I now have a new fear of not knowing when to shut up when talking to someone (oh the problems in life).

Really I'm sure that this post will have no significance to you for you may be quite frankly happy with how you presently interact with others. Well I'm not; I don't think that simply chatting through your phones can help you actually get to know the person... So for now I guess I've found something louder than words.

Minor Irks of Friendship...

I had two reasons for writing this post. One because I realized that writing it all out helps give me a clearer perspective of my situation, and two, because I hoped that those of you out there reading this would be able to understand what I'm feeling.

Every now and then there comes a point where one of our friends becomes a downright nuisance. You may not realize it, you may wonder how it happens but more often than not you will find yourself regretting becoming friends with that person. There's a period we go through symbolizing this where they say every action, every word spoken by that person seems to irritate the hell out of you. That individual becomes a pesky fly that you just want to swat or make it go away. The weird part is you can't ignore it since because that person is a part of your life you will, needless to say, be spending a certain amount of time with them daily. So now what? In my opinion downtime from that person I feel is the best cure. After all they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... Unless that person has become an absolute dick for no reason; then screw logic and chuck em like a burnt potato.

For those of you wondering where I'm going with this post, don't worry I'm not done yet (oh the joy for you). Actually I also wanted to talk about another element of this slightly toxic relationship called friendship. You'll probably be able to relate with me for this one. I'm sure for each of you at some point of time there has been a situation where someone close to you has let you down. Now I'm not talking about doing something that's a game breaker for the relationship. No I'm talking about minor disappointments, stuff the other person may have not realized but you have. Like plans you were really looking forward to being suddenly cancelled. Or wanting to meet someone after a while but the other person not giving any effort towards making that happen. Now believe me these are just thoughts of mine that seem to float about aimlessly in my head. To me they seem true but it could be a whole other reality for you. Nevertheless this is my blog, these are my words so like I enjoy saying... Deal with it.

Now you're probably wondering when I'm going to shut my trap and end this post (figuratively speaking); be patient I've only got one last thing to point out. So this is a thought that I've really been wanting to express for a while now but haven't been able to find an outlet till today. A few days ago I witnessed a scene that made me finally realize that friends can be classified into two separate categories, those who are there for you through the good and bad and those who are there to have fun... And I'm sure right after you've read that you're already classifying your current friends circle into the two groups and deciding to only keep those who will be there for you. The thing is if we did that, we'd all be left with very, very few friends. There has to be a balance of all kinds even in this case. Getting back to the original situation, a friend of mine (well actually more acquaintance than friend) recently found himself in a bad situation. Now of those who are close to him who were present with us at that time only one volunteered to help out whereas the others merely criticized the situation as a waste of their time. Wow that was a lot harder to explain than I thought it would be without actually giving away what happened. So that brought me to thinking, if I was stuck in that person's shoes, who would help me out. Now I don't mean merely provide cheer support from a distance, I mean actually getting deep into my troubles and helping me solve them. Hmm I can't seem to think of anyone. Maybe I need new friends, or maybe it's time to meet new people. *Disclaimer* To all of you out there reading this, before getting mad after reading what I may or may or not have said about you, take a deep breath and consider why this might be true.

Anyways I guess I just needed to get this all out, it's high time I started writing about what I feel, even if it is to a bunch of complete strangers... or maybe I'm retarded, yes that definitely could be an option.

How Awks can Awkward get?

Okay so for the first time I've given some indication of what I've decided to write about today. I mean unless you're blind or suffering from the social disease of popularity, then you know what it's like to feel awkward.

Speaking as a true aficionado of this glorious emotion I have over the years accumulated many an awkward situation. Birthday parties where you know no one. Meeting a person after ignoring their last message to you on whatsapp.  Worst of all I believe is when you accidentally make fun of someone who's right next to you and they hear what you're saying. Oh the memories :')... they'll haunt me forever.

So today while reveling in those glorious moments, a curious thought came upon me. How awkward can being awkward get? I mean what defines the upper limit of an awkward situation. I remember this birthday party of a friend of mine where all the guests would cling to each other in separate groups leaving this one guy completely by himself. No strangely that wasn't me (I'm amazed myself) and weirdly I could understand how the guy was feeling. Nobody likes to be left out... especially when you're the only one who is.

Hmm, what other situations have I been in where my awkward meter was off the charts... Oh yes the time when I found out that a friend of mine whom I had trusted with an incredibly 'never to be disclosed' secret went stark crazy and told the whole world. The fact that that person freely admitted to telling it made the whole situation even more awkward. I mean it's like I'm telling you to not stab yourself and the next second the knife is through your ventricular arteries (Science Bitch).

What's weird is that compared to a girl, a guy's awkward situation barely scratch the surface of how bad it get. Now I'm not saying that this rule applies to all females in general but the basic idea is that each day a woman somehow manages to wreck 4 lives and have her life wrecked 4 times as well... there's gotta be balance somewhere.

So now I'm curious, suppose there's a big chart somewhere out there that shows how awkward your situation can be on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being social hell. Now I have a couple of ideas of what could constitute a 10 but then I wouldn't want my account to be banned for explicit language. Till the time that freedom of press actually becomes a thing I guess I'll catch you later.

Btw a friend of mine told me about a show named Awkward. The name came to me just as I finished writing this post... Awks.

'The Hobbit' would be a lie in today's world

So today I find myself stuck at home with absolutely nothing at all to do. *Smirks* Nothing at all. Anyways I don't count writing as doing something since it comes naturally to me (take that Selena Gomez). However I drift from the main point of this post; the fact that I know literally no one who wants to go on an adventure. :(

If you've watched 'The Hobbit' then you know what I'm talking about. At this point in my life all of my friends are currently Bilbo Baggins pre-adventure. They're boring, comfortable and quite happy to live with a common routine. In short they're lethargic people who refuse to actually do something for a change. I swear to god 'Make a plan' has got to be the most irritating thing alive to hear when you're a teenager. Now don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy to think of something to do, but when I offer suggestions don't plainly shoot them down as if it were target practice. I mean you're the one who's bored not me, so when I decide to do something, say yes for a change. You'd be surprised at how much fun it is to actually go out and do something rather than spend hours endlessly arguing over the phone about doing something.

Getting to the next point of this post. I love it how everyone automatically assumes I free whenever they're bored and want company. It's like they believe I have virtually nothing better to do with my time rather than sit at home and wait next to the phone for their call. Lets get this straight, my day is just as exciting if not more than yours and you should not go all ape shit angry on me when I politely say no. You know the main reason why I enjoy my life? I make the effort to get the very best out of every day that I live (conscious or unconscious... mostly unconscious).

Wow, I've got to stop ranting... Well I guess this isn't a rant more like a learning experience. When the time comes that you decide to get off your backside and do something, then and only then would you understand why I love just plain living.

Also (it's a twist to this cranky post) I'd like to point out of how some people have virtually no sense of adventure. I mean if Bilbo Baggins had said 'Screw you Gandalf' how on Earth would the producers of the movie be able to exploit more money from the series? I mean you've got to consider that the producers need to make their millions to survive.

Ahh I'm adrift again from the original point of this post (this tends to happen usually). So before I forget what I was writing about again let me end of here with a wee bit of advice; just a wee bit. Like the freaky ABBA group once said 'Take a chance' (I cut out the 'on me' part for that quote to make sense so sue me). Life's too short to be talking on the phone. Might as well meet the person and talk then. Till next time...

Friends, the weird glass cannon.

I swear to God this better not be a depressing post -_-. I'm tired of being all melodramatic so for a change I thought I'd write a bit more about reality and the important lessons to be learned from it.

Now I'm betting that 50% of you will have no idea whatsoever of what I'm talking about whereas the other 50% will get what I'm dishing out almost immediately. So for the modest 50% of you who have no idea what I'm talking about as well as the curious few of you who enjoy reading what I have to say (you're probably crazy), let me elaborate on why I've decided to link one of life's necessities to an awkward analogy of a weapon.

Okay so for starters what is a glass cannon? Clearly if you haven't gotten a basic idea by now, then perhaps you need some help. Still for convenience sake, I'll explain it all out. In essence a glass cannon is basically a metaphor for something that seems incredibly strong and powerful but yet breaks at the slightest touch. Now to me, friends and friendship is a lot like that.

Before you get ahead of yourself and automatically decide you've read enough and instinctively shut this link, let me at least explain what I'm trying to get at. As I was saying friends and friendship is lot like a glass cannon. Think about it, they've always been there for you, strong, everlasting and powerful enough to help see you through almost anything you encounter in life. Yet there are those moments where that tiny precise element that puts them at risk leads to the shattering of any link or concern they may have had for you.

Now as the saying goes ' it's every man for himself'. Clearly this should have been written as a rule of conduct when it comes to those you spend your time with. I mean trust me there are times when you're cursing yourself for being foolish enough to trust some people. So then why keep friends at all? The answer is quite simple, the human body hungers for interaction. Good or bad, love or hate, we need to interact with the rest of the world to function sanely. If not you might end up like me, lost in a world of your own thoughts, and trust me you do not want that.

So that's my take on this perilous topic and somehow I've turned one of nature's greatest gifts into a curse. Yeah I definitely have issues. Yet I weirdly enough have a lot of friends. Maybe opposites attract? The socially awkward teenager that can't seem to stop getting to know people. That would be an epic movie plot. Till then I'll just keep to myself, with writing keeping me company...