The Pursuit of Happiness

Been a while hasn't it? I'd say welcome back but we all know that no one is desperate enough to continue to come back to this site. So instead I'll start of with a friendly 'hello' and hope that what I'm probably going to write right now will seem interesting enough for you to spend a couple of minutes on.

So earlier this week results came out. Now these aren't your regular end of term 'next-time-I'll-do-better' results, this is the real life-deciding deal; and for many of us they weren't what we expected. So now how do we deal with that? I could stand here spouting all sorts of bull crap about how things will get better, and of how life has set you on a new better path, but we all know that I'll be wasting your time with complete and utter nonsense.

Let's face it. This sucks. Definitely if your future was suddenly taken away from you, you wouldn't want consolation. You'd want to smash things; curse the world for being cruel; maybe even go on a wild rampaging spree... anything basically besides listen to someone tell you that it's probably for the best.

As a person who's been on both sides of the roads I know how frustrating it is from either point of view. If you're the one being consoled, you're seriously considering ripping out the throat of the one consoling you. If you're the one consoling, you know that if it were you in the opposite person's position, you wouldn't even wait around to listen to your shit.

So now what? Well to me I feel there are 3 stages that people in this situation go through.

First is grief - The eternal sadness of not achieving your dreams has finally hit you. Waves of guilt, vulnerability and most of all pain overcome you. You seem lost for a few moments as you contemplate 'what now?'. The thing that hurts most probably is if you're a self conscious person like me, you will always wonder whether people will now view you as a failure. This is your biggest challenge that you'll face, and you have to overcome it if you even plan on moving on

Next is blame - You've finally accepted your current situation and now you're on the warpath looking for someone to blame for what has happened. Maybe it's your friends who insisted you keep on partying late into the night. Or your parents for taking you out constantly when you felt you should have studied. Lets be honest (say the first two words fast) you are the own freaking boss of your destiny. Do not forget that you agreed to most of these things whether knowingly or not. Call it peer pressure, family pressure or any other pressure, you gave into it rather focus on your goals and now you're paying the price. When you finally realize this, you'll seriously wish that the price wasn't so high.

Finally is revival - This stages could come frequently in-between the other two former stages, but you'll know it's real when you finally start to let go. When you decide that enough-is-enough and moping around won't help anyone, you've finally started the healing process. What is soon to follow is the desire to do better. Changes to your lifestyle could either be radical or they could be slow and progressing. Whatever they may be it is important to realize that these changes do not guarantee success in the future. They could be obliterated as you settle back into your old habits, or simply not strong enough to make a difference. However they are something you're willing to try out for the time being. Therefore you've opted to take a different path, preferably a brighter one as you move out of the shadows and back into the sunlight.

So now that I've basically written out my life-story in these few paragraphs I'm hoping you'll at least be able to relate with me and what I'm talking about. True, disappointment sucks but you're only making it worse by letting it take a hold of you. We're only human for god's sake. Mistakes are bound to happen but that doesn't me that we let them take us down. We simply get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the trail to find happiness.

In all honesty, the 'pursuit of happiness' is a battle, and if you're not fighting, then it isn't happiness that you're looking for.

The White Collar Retard

So apparently I have a job! I know it's weird to think of me all decked up (I'd go in shorts if I was allowed) and actually making a difference to the world (not so much) by doing an assortment of activities (I write questions); Okay so maybe I played it up a wee bit. Still this is my blog, so as they say in poker, 'Deal with it'. Now, onto the rather joyous/confusing post.

They say getting a job is a lot like giving away the best years of your life in exchange for a wad of cash; like a trade off or a really stressful ATM. Yet weirdly I'm having the time of my life over there and I find it incredibly humbling that my boss is kind enough to trust me with such exciting tasks. *Pardon me while I change the song on my iPhone* As I was saying, working is actually enjoyable for me. I mean I finally feel as if I have a purpose again.

A few weeks or like maybe a month ago, I wrote an article about losing your purpose. When you become a Wanderer, drifting through the tides of time till you find something to actually hold onto and call your own. Strangely I find working as my purpose (at least for now, pretty sure it's going to become hell) and so I'm immensely grateful to my rather eccentric big sister who put in the good word for me.

Getting back to work and its many challenges, I've recently come to understand that if you want to get anywhere in this world you've got to have contacts. You start out young, garnering as much exposure as you can, so that in the future should the need arise, you can call on those you impressed for help and support. True it is a dirty business, and that hardships and problems are definitely going to arise (my boss keeps trying to overfeed me :') ) but nevertheless, like Dory from Nemo said 'You just got to keep on swimming'.

I guess the only challenge I'm facing is waking up at 6a.m. I mean for a guy who spent the first month of summer waking up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon, to actually see the sunrise is a pretty daunting thing. I think I'm in love with the word 'Daunting' ever since those peeps on 'Master Chef Australia' seem to use it for literally every other thing. Convenient how I drifted off-topic the moment I started to run out of things to write.

Well in all honesty, there is a lot more that I wanted to talk about, but I feel what I have to say is best suited to my private journal. Sometimes, you need hold back for a bit, till time takes over and everything seems to blur away. Till then I guess, I'll keep waiting... and working ;). In other less exciting news, I think I'm actually learning to grow up, but we'll save that story for another time.

The Ties That Bind

So this really isn't like any other post I've written (mainly cause it's 4 a.m and I'm half asleep) but nevertheless I still I find it an important one. So to the few of you out there reading this... Try to find the meaning within the lines.

A lonely child of happiness silenced by pain

Brought forth by desire and that of gain 

Rose from the ashes to rule his kingdom he did 

But fell down once again, a stumble upon  his hill

Now time and experience should have taught him well

But foolish his desire that brought him to hell

Now alone he sits once again

Still waiting to etch his life with pen.

Well that's all I've got for you. I think I'll dub this muse 'Broken'. Yeah that sounds about right... Oh and here's an inspirational picture I took. It's actually just the metro lines in my city, but pretend there's a nice quote written across it that makes you feel good .