Emotions - Do they matter?

Human beings are a complex species. We have no superior attributes that make us defining creatures and yet here we stand on the brink of reality pounded by reasoning behind our place here on this planet. It's strange when you think of it how we are one of the few inhabiting this place who actually feel inner pain. Emotions dominate our every step of existence and we often tend to mentally define ourselves based on how we feel. We judge, critique, and compare our perceptions of others in a way that seems crude and unworthy of our mental capabilities. Does it make sense to justify why we do what we sometimes? I wouldn't know; after all I'm only human.

These past few weeks have helped me reflect upon my past and the actions I've taken that have led me here. Having never been able to fully express myself I contained and confide my inner thoughts during earlier years, letting in only the closest of my companions. Here at university the inhibition to contain my personality didn't seem pressing enough to warrant the need for emotional control. I feel I grew a bit too careless and suffered the imminent consequences. True it did make me realise the downfall of fully expressing myself but I have learnt from my mistakes and will therefore never do so again.

Is life sometimes all but a game to me? The only reason we play it is to win at the end, so is the journey really that important? I sometimes think of the way I react as a game of snakes and ladders. A bad decision puts you one step down from your goal of happiness where as a good one brings you one step closer. True there are only so many bad decisions we can make before finally learning from our mistakes and moving on. In a way we evolve to reflect on our past choices as reminders of where we went wrong and how we've changed to resolve it.

I feel the more I write about it this, the more difficult it gets to express myself so this is where I decide that any more focus will only deviate this topic into disjointed thoughts. True people are given many chances to prove themselves time and again, but there will be a point sometime in the future where you'll simply give up and choose to live life outside the lines; some might say you're an observer.

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

Elevation to the Nth Degree

'Don't be afraid to be different'

For it is your difference that will guide you through the hardships you shall face

The pain that once bound you to so many evil things will be released

And you will rise your head towards a brighter future.

A simple thought isn't it? Yet words are only the shell of the big picture, seeing as our actions determine how we fill that shell. True in the end all evil will be vanquished and good with reign victorious. What matters is how much we have to give up to reach that point. Happiness... Most people think they have it, but few have ever been able to understand it.

As a child let me tell you there were few things in the world that brought me happiness. My family and my own world was what I'd escape to when the demons of my insecurities would take control, and I'd hide, miserably ashamed of who I was and what had brought me to this Earth. Yet as I grew so did my desire to find that elusive emotion of happiness. Weirdly enough I had to only begin searching for it when I realized where it was.

Now happiness to me is not something that can be granted so easily. However once earned, I do everything in my power to ensure that I never let go of it. So now the questions remains, what is happiness? What is that sheer emotion of bliss? Where can I find that emotion of pure elation? The answer strangely enough is synonymous to the person who desires it. Only he or she will know what makes them happy, and therefore only they can set the path in motion to achieve it.

To me happiness is a number of things. Making new friends, and more often than not, helping them. Having the perfect day. Being loved by all. Most importantly, I find great joy in learning, especially those life lessons that I keep to myself, for only I know how valuable they are.

What's strange is that I'm writing this post with the feeling of utmost elation. The kind a good song can give to you after a hard day of downfalls. Yet even though I've written so much, I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of what truly this emotions means to some of us. So I ask this to you in conclusion. Stop what you're doing right now, and think about what makes you happy... You'll be surprised by how remembering will bring you so much joy.

Emotional Foreplay

Arousing title isn't it? Or maybe not... hey I bet this is like word-porn for Grammar Nazis. Moving on from that rather disturbing mental image that is now stuck in my head (I'll describe it for you if you ask nicely) I think it's time I admitted something that I personally have been a part of, and I'm sure many of you out there have been as well.

So Emotional Foreplay, funny kind of thought and even funnier how it is seems to actually make sense. We're all human, so we all have our own flaws, be it physical or mental. This time I'd like to talk about the mental part (don't worry I'm not insane... much) and how sometimes without realizing we abuse the powers of emotions.

Being a teen in his prime (yeah right) definitely hormones are going to be raging (don't take that sexually) and the brain is at it's most vulnerable at this time of our lives. We can read signs wrong, freak out over minor issues for no reason, even do things we're sure to regret in the later years (I know I have). Yet we still push on, confused and disorientated, but without a care in the world... Now the only issue here is that, what happens when those problems catch up with us?

Lately I've been thinking of my past (going to get all deep down here) regarding my life as a bubble, and the more I think the more I wonder how on Earth that bubble hasn't popped considering what all I've done. If you're like me and are awkwardly blunt about your opinions of others, then I'm sure there are moments where you completely regret what may have just said. This problem had unfortunately gotten so bad with me, that literally five seconds after saying something stupid, I'd realize I was an ass and wish I hadn't gone so far. Sadly words can't be taken back once spoken.

Getting back to the main point of this post, I wanted to ask you to think of how you've used emotions for your own purposes. Have you toyed with someone's love? Have you merely pretended to be close friends with a person who trusted you? Have you ever realized that what you're doing right now is wrong? I'm by far the worst person to be asking about this, mainly cause being hurt time after time gives you a sort of surrealistic approach to life. Right now, at this point of time while my fingers brush across the keyboard, I know for a fact that sometimes you've just got put on a brave face. It sucks to always be someone's target, but listen to me and I tell you what I've told nearly everyone who've asked me for advice (god knows why)... 'Let it go, because sometimes... they're just not worth it'.

Anyways that's my view, my perspective and my opinion. Its significance to you I'll probably never know but if it does help... then (and I say this in all honesty) I'm glad I could be of some use. In the mean time lemme show you the people who sometimes are worth fighting for... let's hope I'm right.

Minor Irks of Friendship...

I had two reasons for writing this post. One because I realized that writing it all out helps give me a clearer perspective of my situation, and two, because I hoped that those of you out there reading this would be able to understand what I'm feeling.

Every now and then there comes a point where one of our friends becomes a downright nuisance. You may not realize it, you may wonder how it happens but more often than not you will find yourself regretting becoming friends with that person. There's a period we go through symbolizing this where they say every action, every word spoken by that person seems to irritate the hell out of you. That individual becomes a pesky fly that you just want to swat or make it go away. The weird part is you can't ignore it since because that person is a part of your life you will, needless to say, be spending a certain amount of time with them daily. So now what? In my opinion downtime from that person I feel is the best cure. After all they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... Unless that person has become an absolute dick for no reason; then screw logic and chuck em like a burnt potato.

For those of you wondering where I'm going with this post, don't worry I'm not done yet (oh the joy for you). Actually I also wanted to talk about another element of this slightly toxic relationship called friendship. You'll probably be able to relate with me for this one. I'm sure for each of you at some point of time there has been a situation where someone close to you has let you down. Now I'm not talking about doing something that's a game breaker for the relationship. No I'm talking about minor disappointments, stuff the other person may have not realized but you have. Like plans you were really looking forward to being suddenly cancelled. Or wanting to meet someone after a while but the other person not giving any effort towards making that happen. Now believe me these are just thoughts of mine that seem to float about aimlessly in my head. To me they seem true but it could be a whole other reality for you. Nevertheless this is my blog, these are my words so like I enjoy saying... Deal with it.

Now you're probably wondering when I'm going to shut my trap and end this post (figuratively speaking); be patient I've only got one last thing to point out. So this is a thought that I've really been wanting to express for a while now but haven't been able to find an outlet till today. A few days ago I witnessed a scene that made me finally realize that friends can be classified into two separate categories, those who are there for you through the good and bad and those who are there to have fun... And I'm sure right after you've read that you're already classifying your current friends circle into the two groups and deciding to only keep those who will be there for you. The thing is if we did that, we'd all be left with very, very few friends. There has to be a balance of all kinds even in this case. Getting back to the original situation, a friend of mine (well actually more acquaintance than friend) recently found himself in a bad situation. Now of those who are close to him who were present with us at that time only one volunteered to help out whereas the others merely criticized the situation as a waste of their time. Wow that was a lot harder to explain than I thought it would be without actually giving away what happened. So that brought me to thinking, if I was stuck in that person's shoes, who would help me out. Now I don't mean merely provide cheer support from a distance, I mean actually getting deep into my troubles and helping me solve them. Hmm I can't seem to think of anyone. Maybe I need new friends, or maybe it's time to meet new people. *Disclaimer* To all of you out there reading this, before getting mad after reading what I may or may or not have said about you, take a deep breath and consider why this might be true.

Anyways I guess I just needed to get this all out, it's high time I started writing about what I feel, even if it is to a bunch of complete strangers... or maybe I'm retarded, yes that definitely could be an option.

Why everyone is related to Pinocchio.

Yes it's true. I bring you startling evidence that deep down inside we're all made of balsa wood and are blessed by a fairy to one day become a real boy (ladies sorry for the gender bender, blame Disney not me). Now let's see, there are three aspects of Pinocchio that I can remember from my childhood. The first two, while useful to understand I find less significant  compared to the third element.

For starters Pinocchio is a wooden boy. Now I can get all fancy with my choice of words and tell you in 5 different ways of how this is useful to know. Instead though I'll preserve my dignity (and your interest) and lay the whole thing out simple. So being made of wood is a real bummer. I mean splinters everywhere. It also means you're completely at risk of your surroundings with the greatest threat being mankind. Similarly there will always be people in your life wanting to cut you down and turn you into toothpicks (the minty kind with the green tips). So should you let that get you down? Damn straight you shouldn't! You should be like little Pinoke and always have faith in yourself. The little tyke believed that he was a real boy and he eventually became one. Follow in his wooden footsteps..

Our next big reveal is that Pinocchio had an issue with lying. Now if you're as bad as me when it comes to lying (I blush like crazy) then obviously this isn't an issue for you since nobody believes you anyways. However for the rest of you more skilled at this fine art, lying really is like a time bomb waiting to go off. Now I'm not saying that your nose will grow or anything, although think of how epic that would be, but it's definitely going to bite you on your behind later on. Trust me, I have friends who I know still regret not being upfront when faced with a difficult situation. They learned 'big time' that lying, never works. However this rule only applies to lies you use to save your butt, I mean lies to keep people's dignity intact are still sorta okay.

Our final element of this amazingly confusing post is that Pinoke was a puppet, and in reality so are we. Now this is a bit more difficult to explain as there quite a few ways in which strings have been stitched through our ligaments. Let see, there are firstly those who are influenced by the media. People sporting designer bags like it actually matters. A bag is a bag, status symbol or not; if the world ever does end up being destroyed by a giant fireball, that shit is toast. There are also those led astray by social pressure. Peoples actions, harsh remarks, and snide jokes directed towards you can usually push you against a wall of your own decisions.Eventually you'll be forced to climb it only to fall down flat on your back. Finally and most importantly there are those who are led astray by individuals. Deceivers, two-faced friends and sadly people who toy with your emotions have all in some way been part of our social circle. The part that most of you won't believe is that each one of us has played these roles as well, although till this day we may remain blissfully unaware of the harm we caused to people. For those of you on the receiving end, the effect is almost painful to witness. It destroys your belief in humanity and trust when your perception of a person is completely changed by that one sudden action that deep down inside you'd always hoped wouldn't occur. Wow I sorta lost myself in my words over there, but I really hope I didn't go overboard like I usually do.

So now that I've mercilessly analyzed a simple Disney movie better than any literature teacher could, I guess I'll let you in on why then the movie still brings a smile to my face every time I see it... his name is Jiminy Cricket. Our conscience in the form of a friend. Someone who's there to see you through the wrong and guide you into the right. True he is a bug and max has a life span of what like 6 weeks, but at least he's useful enough to keep around (totally wrecked that emotional moment).

Wow I didn't know Disney had so much thought involved when they wrote the screenplay for the movie. Or maybe that's just me and my crazy overactive imagination. Still I now have an outlet, even it's a small one. I guess this is the end? Till next time my brain decides to go haywire this is me saying 'buh-bye'.