Human beings are a complex species. We have no superior attributes that make us defining creatures and yet here we stand on the brink of reality pounded by reasoning behind our place here on this planet. It's strange when you think of it how we are one of the few inhabiting this place who actually feel inner pain. Emotions dominate our every step of existence and we often tend to mentally define ourselves based on how we feel. We judge, critique, and compare our perceptions of others in a way that seems crude and unworthy of our mental capabilities. Does it make sense to justify why we do what we sometimes? I wouldn't know; after all I'm only human.
These past few weeks have helped me reflect upon my past and the actions I've taken that have led me here. Having never been able to fully express myself I contained and confide my inner thoughts during earlier years, letting in only the closest of my companions. Here at university the inhibition to contain my personality didn't seem pressing enough to warrant the need for emotional control. I feel I grew a bit too careless and suffered the imminent consequences. True it did make me realise the downfall of fully expressing myself but I have learnt from my mistakes and will therefore never do so again.
Is life sometimes all but a game to me? The only reason we play it is to win at the end, so is the journey really that important? I sometimes think of the way I react as a game of snakes and ladders. A bad decision puts you one step down from your goal of happiness where as a good one brings you one step closer. True there are only so many bad decisions we can make before finally learning from our mistakes and moving on. In a way we evolve to reflect on our past choices as reminders of where we went wrong and how we've changed to resolve it.
I feel the more I write about it this, the more difficult it gets to express myself so this is where I decide that any more focus will only deviate this topic into disjointed thoughts. True people are given many chances to prove themselves time and again, but there will be a point sometime in the future where you'll simply give up and choose to live life outside the lines; some might say you're an observer.
These past few weeks have helped me reflect upon my past and the actions I've taken that have led me here. Having never been able to fully express myself I contained and confide my inner thoughts during earlier years, letting in only the closest of my companions. Here at university the inhibition to contain my personality didn't seem pressing enough to warrant the need for emotional control. I feel I grew a bit too careless and suffered the imminent consequences. True it did make me realise the downfall of fully expressing myself but I have learnt from my mistakes and will therefore never do so again.
Is life sometimes all but a game to me? The only reason we play it is to win at the end, so is the journey really that important? I sometimes think of the way I react as a game of snakes and ladders. A bad decision puts you one step down from your goal of happiness where as a good one brings you one step closer. True there are only so many bad decisions we can make before finally learning from our mistakes and moving on. In a way we evolve to reflect on our past choices as reminders of where we went wrong and how we've changed to resolve it.
I feel the more I write about it this, the more difficult it gets to express myself so this is where I decide that any more focus will only deviate this topic into disjointed thoughts. True people are given many chances to prove themselves time and again, but there will be a point sometime in the future where you'll simply give up and choose to live life outside the lines; some might say you're an observer.
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