The Brilliance of Life, Understanding it... and other Shenanigans

I seem to enjoy posting at the most awkward of times it seems like. I mean practically most of you must be in hibernation mode with your nose stuffed into books as if they were providing you with life giving oxygen. Still it's been a while so I thought why not. Since the final term of university is upon us and with year one coming to a close I thought I'd look back at some of the things I've learnt and draw upon why they mattered.

For starters, I know for sure that this year I lost nearly half of my high-school friends to the unfortunate passage of time which slowly eroded any relationship that I might have had with them throughout our teenage life. It seemed saddening at first but then I realised that it was a necessary change to occur. We as individuals don't realise that sometimes we make friends to maintain the social convenience rather than actual mutual interest with each other. The so called 'gangs' we had as teenagers seems as if a thing of the past. Truth be told there was a lot of tension within those gangs and it seemed natural that after a while the ties which held us together slowly started to fade as we realised the insignificance of them. What was that irritating line in frozen ? Right 'It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small'. So with all of us so far away, the stress of trying to always fix things didn't come to me and I felt liberated by the fact that if things were meant to happen this way... then they happened for a reason. Not that I don't miss each and everyone of them though, the friends I made in highschool were a great bunch so it does sting that we've grown so far apart.

Making temporary snow cones - Like a boss

Another thing I feel I must point out is that university is a lot about balance. Honestly this lesson took way too long to learn but it felt good when I eventually did. I mean in all honesty it's all about bringing as much of your life's old routine back into your university life. Be it as simple as a game of football with your friends, or waking up early enough to actually have breakfast and lunch. Balance is an important part of our life even if we don't realise it. Bring back what was once good for you, take on those that improve you and discard those that don't. Most importantly I finally found a place where I can truly relax and feel as if I'm not simply living in a place that I'm here for temporarily but rather the potential for a permanent home. In all honesty I did rob that last line from one of my history lectures wherein the countries that the British invaded either prospered or collapsed depending on whether or not the migrants wanted to settle or simply rob the place of its resources. Funny how education comes up in the weirdest of places

Finally I felt humbled for the first time in my life to be a part of something so large and brilliant. University truly gives you the channel within which you can witness the world from a safe haven. Honestly I can come across as cocky, arrogant and even downright crude sometimes, but I'm learning to change, and one of the most important factors that caused that it is realisation that without the desire to improve, you're always going to be bested by others who do. You can sit on your laurels of the past and gloat about your glory days, but I'd much rather fall down multiple times, dust myself off and get right back up and face any challenge. Whether through life's successes, or personal development in the case of me, humility through gain and most of all a desire to keep fighting, this is a journey that I have yet to even reach the fork roads of. 

What I do believe though is that there's a lot more left to learn and I plan on cherishing every moment of it that I can. Summer is nearly here and there's a lot left to do. Till then...

Emotions - Do they matter?

Human beings are a complex species. We have no superior attributes that make us defining creatures and yet here we stand on the brink of reality pounded by reasoning behind our place here on this planet. It's strange when you think of it how we are one of the few inhabiting this place who actually feel inner pain. Emotions dominate our every step of existence and we often tend to mentally define ourselves based on how we feel. We judge, critique, and compare our perceptions of others in a way that seems crude and unworthy of our mental capabilities. Does it make sense to justify why we do what we sometimes? I wouldn't know; after all I'm only human.

These past few weeks have helped me reflect upon my past and the actions I've taken that have led me here. Having never been able to fully express myself I contained and confide my inner thoughts during earlier years, letting in only the closest of my companions. Here at university the inhibition to contain my personality didn't seem pressing enough to warrant the need for emotional control. I feel I grew a bit too careless and suffered the imminent consequences. True it did make me realise the downfall of fully expressing myself but I have learnt from my mistakes and will therefore never do so again.

Is life sometimes all but a game to me? The only reason we play it is to win at the end, so is the journey really that important? I sometimes think of the way I react as a game of snakes and ladders. A bad decision puts you one step down from your goal of happiness where as a good one brings you one step closer. True there are only so many bad decisions we can make before finally learning from our mistakes and moving on. In a way we evolve to reflect on our past choices as reminders of where we went wrong and how we've changed to resolve it.

I feel the more I write about it this, the more difficult it gets to express myself so this is where I decide that any more focus will only deviate this topic into disjointed thoughts. True people are given many chances to prove themselves time and again, but there will be a point sometime in the future where you'll simply give up and choose to live life outside the lines; some might say you're an observer.

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

Dealing with double sides

Ever wondered why you act differently when you're around people? No? Seriously does nobody think about these things at all? Ah well I do, and as long as I continue to do so, you're all suctioned into listening to what many people (nearly everyone) say is absolute bull crap. Still as they say, "Better to have some crap rather than none at all". Okay I have definitely broken the weird scale now. On with the post.

So lately (well basically right now) I've been thinking of how our attitude/personality/whatever the hell defines us, changes as we interact with different people. I've been the soft spoken, shy and inbound child; the over zealous and annoying boy wonder; the chilled out trophy kid; and most of all I've been the person no one forgets. Aren't I adorable? No I thought so. Just remember... I know where you live -_-

Moving on. I find myself wondering whether or not we have any control as to which personality we choose to first introduce ourselves with when meeting people. Like say you're like me and you're born with multiple personality disorder; what's your go-to personality? Frankly I tend to shift in between them depending on how the person I'm interacting with, appears

Now you've probably gotten the general gist of what I previously mentioned, but just for convenience sake, I'm going into this a little bit more deeper. They say that in the social circuit, there are four roles that are most common; there's the Alpha, the one with the prominent personality who takes the role of the leader; the Beta, who isn't respected by all but is valued by the Alpha as the person to go to for advice; the Sideliner, who are quite content being part of the group and find no need to jump positions, and finally there's the Bandwagon who loves to be around Alphas and will jump cliques if they find someone interesting enough.

After that rather complicated revealing, let me mix things up even further and see if you can take it. You know like I said we change our personality depending on the person we're interacting with... well that personality is one of these roles superimposed on us according to whether we think the other person is an Alpha, Beta, Sideliner or Bandwagon.

Take for instance the person you're about to meet seems charismatic, fun and sociable. Naturally you perceive them to be either an Alpha or a Beta and accordingly you decide whether you want to adopt a more outgoing role of the current social clique, or stay in the shadows until you feel comfortable.

See that's the problem. So many times I've met people who seem completely nice at one point of time, and the next moment when you're surrounded by different people he/she is a complete asshole. Not sure why that happens, and truthfully I've played the same role as these people many times. I guess it's just natural for us humans to change how we behave based on our perception of the other person. Hmm seems kinda pointless seeing as we're all part of the same washed up species. Ah well, we humans have a tendency of never learning. Maybe though in the future things will change. Till then here's hoping I don't adopt another random ass personality. I think 3 is enough.

The Lone Ranger or The Masses of Sheep?

People don't often realize how the interactions I have with them leads me to learning a life lesson. Certain encounters that I've had have in fact taught me a lot about life. Some lessons were beneficial, others were harsh smacks of reality, but more often than not each lesson I learned would change me as an individual. However I digress from the original topic.

Every person I've met over the course of my lifetime have had different ideals, views and perspective to almost everything and anything. Now while it is true that human opinions are unique, most of the people I met could be classified into groups of individuals with similar characteristics. However there are always those rare few with viewpoints so unorthodox that they question the foundation of everything considered to be the norm. To them, their opinions are only ones they consider worth listening to. Some might say that they are selfish for not taking into consideration the views of others. However it has come to my realization that in the end it is us who makes the final decision regarding any dilemma we face with life, so shouldn't our thoughts matter the most?

Now trust me there are always exceptions to this rule. Some people are so single minded that they are blinded by the desire of others to help them out. They always consider themselves to be right no matter what the circumstances. Whether others think of them as a joke or not, they are their own boss and will fiercely stand by what they say. However their stubbornness eventually leads to their downfall. In essence these individuals are popular to a certain degree. Sadly though this popularity is not one of respect but rather of curiosity. Others are enamored by the resilience of this person who to them is a refreshing break from all the other sheep they interact with. Unfortunately their interest is no more than that of people visiting the zoo and trying to provoke the snakes with a stick. They hunger for the moment when this person finally loses his or her grip on reality and goes spiraling down into a wave of their own emotions.

What I have described in the previous paragraph is an extreme measure of one person's view on an individual's opinion. The polar opposites are in fact far more common then their counterparts. They are those who are addicted to what is considered popular by the masses. Also regarded as 'sheep' these people are always willing to bend their own opinions to suit the generally agreed view. While popular, it is quite likely that in the future, just as trends fade away, they too will not be remembered.

So now the question lies as to where some of you stand in terms of listening to others and having a voice for yourself. As with all things good and evil, tolerance is key. We should not allow what others say to hurt or influence us too greatly. Similarly we should not let wise words spoken go to waste. Each person has something to say. What matters is whether it's worth listening to or not.