Spirited

Song of Choice - 'On My Way' - Charlie Brown

Fallen by the actions of others. Defeated by the desire to fail. Missed by those you never encountered. Defined by the spirit that sets you apart.

Spirited was something that I've been wanting to write for a while now. It embodies what I believe life was meant to be. I'm tired of always missing out on what could have been. Where's my energy? Where's my capability to be different? Where's my spirit? Enough of those envied for their structured outlook. There is structure is discord regardless, it's just a bit harder to see.

This year promises to bring change, regardless of whether I want it or not. Well I suppose that's life in general. We never expect things to work out this way, but when they do, there's nothing stopping us from taking it on headstrong. The energy with which you perceive life defines your capability to overcome it. Why would you ever want to be someone who simply stops? Stretch your limits, push your boundaries and never, ever be afraid of what people think of you. Spirited are those who have more than just the capability to enjoy life, they are those that shape how they enjoy it.

The one thing I'm proud of is that I've always wanted what was best for me. More than that, I actively pursued this seemingly unreachable goal of utopia, the ideal world governed by none and loved by all. Why I'm not sure, but as I grow older, this perception (as I claim it be) still confuses me more often than not. We all want idealism but what actually is it? Does it exist just to drive us to our limits? People's capability to want to succeed is limited to varying degrees, but Spirited Individuals have overcome that boundary. We want what's best, regardless of the boundaries, regardless of the time and regardless of what the world thinks. This is our time, and nothing is going to stop us from making the best of it.

Why wouldn't you want to change who you are? You're more than willing to go back if things turn wrong. There's always that risk but sometimes the reward is so worth it.

Don't be afraid, to be different.

Small Changes

I'm going to try and let you guys in a bit more so that perhaps you can read along my lines. If you want I'd recommend playing White Lies by Paolo Nutini followed by Conquistador by Juno Reactor (if you feel like it) while reading this post. 

Finding out that life is a bit of a disaster is never fun. Our emotions cascade, we fall down and then don't get up. Trouble takes over and we end up wondering of what would have been. It doesn't seem to end and yet we constantly try and deny it to be so. Still... what would happen if we decided to change? How would that work?

"You're going to have fall to hard before you decide to do something about it. Nothing that people tell you matters till you're in the deep-end, drowning. Then you realise."

The way we work is funny. Our perceptions seem to grow more concrete and harder to alter as we form our pathway in life. People have their preferences, their views and their acceptance of what is meant to be; they cement themselves amongst the threshold between perfection and failure and yet constantly criticise the hollowed thoughts of others. Denial to try and failure to believe. Falling down gets easier when you know how to get up more easily. 

It's hard for you to believe me isn't it? As your mind races through the memories that somehow hurt even though they may have happened ages ago, and you find yourself brushing them off yet again in an attempt to claim back control. Why though? Why can't you accept the reality of life? 

I sometimes have those days where I look back on what has led me to become who I am. Decisions good and bad brought together by fate as the skeptics say and yet we're only one person all alone in this world with hardly the time to make a difference. Why bother then? What makes any of us so different? 

Against my better judgement I'm going to leave it here. This is your world, your life and your day as is everyday. Every time you come at crossroads that may make that difference, choose what you feel is the path to take. However, nothing ever stopped you from asking for a bit of help... Life was meant to be different, but it never said anything about doing it alone. Just be willing to make those small changes... You may never know about the big ones that follow. 

The Brilliance of Life, Understanding it... and other Shenanigans

I seem to enjoy posting at the most awkward of times it seems like. I mean practically most of you must be in hibernation mode with your nose stuffed into books as if they were providing you with life giving oxygen. Still it's been a while so I thought why not. Since the final term of university is upon us and with year one coming to a close I thought I'd look back at some of the things I've learnt and draw upon why they mattered.

For starters, I know for sure that this year I lost nearly half of my high-school friends to the unfortunate passage of time which slowly eroded any relationship that I might have had with them throughout our teenage life. It seemed saddening at first but then I realised that it was a necessary change to occur. We as individuals don't realise that sometimes we make friends to maintain the social convenience rather than actual mutual interest with each other. The so called 'gangs' we had as teenagers seems as if a thing of the past. Truth be told there was a lot of tension within those gangs and it seemed natural that after a while the ties which held us together slowly started to fade as we realised the insignificance of them. What was that irritating line in frozen ? Right 'It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small'. So with all of us so far away, the stress of trying to always fix things didn't come to me and I felt liberated by the fact that if things were meant to happen this way... then they happened for a reason. Not that I don't miss each and everyone of them though, the friends I made in highschool were a great bunch so it does sting that we've grown so far apart.

Making temporary snow cones - Like a boss

Another thing I feel I must point out is that university is a lot about balance. Honestly this lesson took way too long to learn but it felt good when I eventually did. I mean in all honesty it's all about bringing as much of your life's old routine back into your university life. Be it as simple as a game of football with your friends, or waking up early enough to actually have breakfast and lunch. Balance is an important part of our life even if we don't realise it. Bring back what was once good for you, take on those that improve you and discard those that don't. Most importantly I finally found a place where I can truly relax and feel as if I'm not simply living in a place that I'm here for temporarily but rather the potential for a permanent home. In all honesty I did rob that last line from one of my history lectures wherein the countries that the British invaded either prospered or collapsed depending on whether or not the migrants wanted to settle or simply rob the place of its resources. Funny how education comes up in the weirdest of places

Finally I felt humbled for the first time in my life to be a part of something so large and brilliant. University truly gives you the channel within which you can witness the world from a safe haven. Honestly I can come across as cocky, arrogant and even downright crude sometimes, but I'm learning to change, and one of the most important factors that caused that it is realisation that without the desire to improve, you're always going to be bested by others who do. You can sit on your laurels of the past and gloat about your glory days, but I'd much rather fall down multiple times, dust myself off and get right back up and face any challenge. Whether through life's successes, or personal development in the case of me, humility through gain and most of all a desire to keep fighting, this is a journey that I have yet to even reach the fork roads of. 

What I do believe though is that there's a lot more left to learn and I plan on cherishing every moment of it that I can. Summer is nearly here and there's a lot left to do. Till then...

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

Dealing with double sides

Ever wondered why you act differently when you're around people? No? Seriously does nobody think about these things at all? Ah well I do, and as long as I continue to do so, you're all suctioned into listening to what many people (nearly everyone) say is absolute bull crap. Still as they say, "Better to have some crap rather than none at all". Okay I have definitely broken the weird scale now. On with the post.

So lately (well basically right now) I've been thinking of how our attitude/personality/whatever the hell defines us, changes as we interact with different people. I've been the soft spoken, shy and inbound child; the over zealous and annoying boy wonder; the chilled out trophy kid; and most of all I've been the person no one forgets. Aren't I adorable? No I thought so. Just remember... I know where you live -_-

Moving on. I find myself wondering whether or not we have any control as to which personality we choose to first introduce ourselves with when meeting people. Like say you're like me and you're born with multiple personality disorder; what's your go-to personality? Frankly I tend to shift in between them depending on how the person I'm interacting with, appears

Now you've probably gotten the general gist of what I previously mentioned, but just for convenience sake, I'm going into this a little bit more deeper. They say that in the social circuit, there are four roles that are most common; there's the Alpha, the one with the prominent personality who takes the role of the leader; the Beta, who isn't respected by all but is valued by the Alpha as the person to go to for advice; the Sideliner, who are quite content being part of the group and find no need to jump positions, and finally there's the Bandwagon who loves to be around Alphas and will jump cliques if they find someone interesting enough.

After that rather complicated revealing, let me mix things up even further and see if you can take it. You know like I said we change our personality depending on the person we're interacting with... well that personality is one of these roles superimposed on us according to whether we think the other person is an Alpha, Beta, Sideliner or Bandwagon.

Take for instance the person you're about to meet seems charismatic, fun and sociable. Naturally you perceive them to be either an Alpha or a Beta and accordingly you decide whether you want to adopt a more outgoing role of the current social clique, or stay in the shadows until you feel comfortable.

See that's the problem. So many times I've met people who seem completely nice at one point of time, and the next moment when you're surrounded by different people he/she is a complete asshole. Not sure why that happens, and truthfully I've played the same role as these people many times. I guess it's just natural for us humans to change how we behave based on our perception of the other person. Hmm seems kinda pointless seeing as we're all part of the same washed up species. Ah well, we humans have a tendency of never learning. Maybe though in the future things will change. Till then here's hoping I don't adopt another random ass personality. I think 3 is enough.