When did we suddenly grow up?

Warning - Reading of this post may potentially waste away 5 minutes of your precious day filled with stuff which you planned on doing but probably will end up cancelling.

Okay so once again I've been feeling the mood to write so I thought why not tackle a little issue that I'm sure a few people have been feeling lately or least are itching to talk about. The past few weeks back home in Dubai and this last year in general has been a bit of an eye-opener for me. I got more interested in job applications than what my juniors were doing, swapped day long naps with an evenly (read 'evenly') balanced scheduled and weirdly enough stopped caring so much what some people thought of me. Arguments over stupid things seemed like an irritation that I'd rather avoid and in all honesty I got bored quite fast of what the entire world was up to. When on Earth did I ever start self-reflecting? God knows but I kinda like it. Anyway getting back to point of the ever impending change of our teenage lives.

I'm probably being a hypocrite for writing this but then, it's my blog so what are you going do? Still writing helps me think clearly so I felt it useful that I at least give this piece a shot.

So now for the few of you out there who are like me and seem to find life amidst transition what exactly are you feeling? To me growing up meant the freedom to leave the house at 1:30 in the morning, drive really fast to the beach and just sit down and stare at the ocean. Now typically you'd need a set of extraordinarily trusting parents and a car with an amazing sound system to basically blast your music into. It also meant the change of actually knowing what was right and wrong when it came to making decisions. I started trusting my instincts more and knew that the opinions I held, flawed to say the very least, were at least honest based on how I felt. Focus became an important issue and I desired to take more of life in rather than aimlessly watch the days fly by. True my daily routine got hectic, tiring and I often felt overworked, but I loved every sweat inducing moment of it.

In all honesty I wrote this post to challenge the minds of those who may be still within that cycle of leaving a part of their lives behinds and beginning a new one. What do you feel you need to give up? What exactly brought you down? Did the things you did matter so much?

So a friend of mine lately brought up this rather disturbing piece of news that I won't get into but it somehow drifted towards me turning 20 in a few months time. Now most people are genuinely terrified about entering a new era of their lives but to me it weirdly seems like a welcome change right now. Maybe it's because when I look back at the past 19 years of my life, the problems I've faced, the person I used to be and genuinely what I've become I can confidently say, at least to myself, childhood well spent.

Now if you can give me a chance to go through a bit of a memory trip, I have a little challenge for you. Take out a little piece of paper and jot down the numbers 10 - 19 on it. For each year write down one defining moment in your life be it good or bad and appreciate the fact that you're still standing after all of it. If you can do that, then trust me when I say this, it's going to be alright. For the younger ones, try and fill up till the point where you are right now and aim to fill each remaining space with a memory that actually will withstand the passage of time. For you, the greatest gift of all is what can be.

Well that's probably all I have to talk about right now. I mean it's not much but I kinda like how my thoughts seem to spell themselves out into words. It seems to make everything, a lot more human...

Till next time.

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

To New Beginnings (Part 2)

I'm going to start this week's post with a story. It is a true story but I'll be using attributes here and there from people I know.

There was once a very, very lonely boy. He spent all of his time by himself completely disconnected from the world around him. He thought he could never trust anyone around him since he was always the one getting picked on. As a result he thought he didn't require friends; he believed that people were fools if they felt that they needed others to help them get on with their lives.

The years passed on and this boy grew up lonely and miserable. His joy came from degrading others since he felt he was superior to them. He was the king of his own world yet he didn't realize that the population was only one. As the years passed his hatred was channeled towards other things. His greed to prove himself better at everything made him work harder than anyone else at everything he set his mind to. He prospered, and for a little while he was happy at the top. However, he soon realized, that when you're better than everyone else, there isn't anything left to chase after. Unhappy even with his new found success, the boy vowed to change himself.

He first tried being a person of multiple personalities. The air of mystery surrounded him and people were curious as to see who this person was. However personalities are only as good as their consistency and the constant lashing out to his friends pushed them away as he tried to once again dominate a group he felt he was better than. He didn't realize that there were aspects to life that even with all his determination he couldn't become good at. So he fought and argued and pushed those who cared for him further and further away; so much so that whatever concern his friends had for him was dissolved into a sea of hate. Clearly things weren't going the way they planned so the boy abandoned these people and chose a new group to find.

For his next attempt at climbing the social ladder, the boy chose a different route. He made a great success as a mentor to others, using his knowledge to make friends with those he felt his intellectual equals. However his jealously grew whenever he was outperformed and a rift was created that he felt wasn't worth repairing. He engaged in gossip as a hobby and found great happiness in interfering in other peoples lives. This would be okay to an extent if the reason for inquisitiveness was out of genuine concern rather than the boy's selfish desire to know more about others than everyone else did. His smug look of all-knowing was what brought fear into many of his friends who were afraid by what he could do with the information he knew about them. However, once the gossip was used up, the boy grew bored and moved onto the next group of unsuspecting individuals with a different idea as to how to be popular amongst them.

For his final try at popularity. The boy chose to be the complete opposite of the person he actually was. He tried to seem friendly and kind to those around him, and was perfectly willing to open up about his life to anyone who chose to ask him. Yet no one could actually say that they truly knew what he was thinking. Nobody could understand what sort of person the boy actually was and to an extent that intrigued those around him even more. He was mysterious, fun at sometimes, and quite appealing to anyone around him. However, there were those times when he seemed unhappy for no reason whatsoever and when questioned by his friends the boy simply blew them away telling them it was nothing at all. Now since a relationship is a give and take job, those around him were unhappy by the way they were being treated and chose to distance themselves from the boy. Depressed by how everything in his life seemed to be going wrong, the boy cursed the world for bringing this upon him and chose to simply abandon everyone and start anew.

Our story ends here.
If you're wondering what happened to the boy, twenty years down the line he was found by all three groups of his old friends and they were amazed by how he had changed. For the first time since they had known him, they found the boy happy. Genuine happiness, the kind without a single drop of greed, hatred or envy hidden underneath. When asked what brought about his drastic change he simply replied, " I stopped trying to be what others wanted me to be and simply chose to be myself".

For this story there are 8 different people I've used for inspiration. Each of them had their own personal share of demons and these have been molded into the story that I've created.

If you're wondering why I'm writing this post it's because for many of us a new year is dawning. As we know every year we promise that this one will be different. Yet halfway down the line we give up on our promises and resort back towards our old comfortable versions of ourselves. After all if change were that easy, then staying constant wouldn't be considered a word.

However, I'd like to give you a bit of advice that a lot of people have told me over the years.

Be 'humble'

There's not much more of itself I can say. Seeing as humbleness is the most difficult thing to achieve in this world, it's no wonder so many of us claim to have achieved it. Let me tell you something, if you thought to yourself after reading the above line, that you were humble, then definitely you are not.

Being humble comes without realization and it is probably one of the greatest gifts one can receive. While I am by no means an expert on this particular topic, heck I'm not even a novice, I do know what happens if you aren't humble and trust me it isn't all that great.

I wanted to write more but I think I'll stop now. Seeing as most of you probably have school the next day, I've probably made you late for your first day. Still I'm glad I could share this with you, seeing as the true significance of this post is far more than what it appears to be. Till next time.

Mini Chapters & Their Significance

So today I thought that it'd be nice to skip the formalities and get straight into the topic at hand...

They say that every individual we meet during the path of our existence influences us in someway. Whether by teaching us a new lesson, showing us an unusual experience or simply by saying hi to us on a sad day. Yet there are over 7 Billion people on this planet so clearly the people we encounter and the friends we make are a mere micro-fraction of those that surround our life. However for now I'd like to focus on the minor chapters of our lives; the ones that may last only for a couple of months but we still look back upon them with longing of moments past and time well spent.

So now what is a 'Mini Chapter'? Well clearly it can have a different meaning to all of you out there reading this (thanks mom for reading this) but to me it's all about friendship and those brief encounters with people that suddenly seem to disappear as fast they did appear.

Bear with me as I get knee deep in complicated ideas. So over the past few days a couple of really unfortunate things happened (I'm a dick in short) and that got me going through all of my old conversations I've had with people on the various social media platforms I'm part of (Life? I have none). What I found is that over time I've made so many new temporary friends; people I've spoken to, bonded with, even considered friends, and then out of the blue suddenly the conversations stop and it's like they never existed in the first place. Now it's not like I'm complaining or anything. These moments are just a natural part of your life. While insignificant to you when you consider the big picture, there are times when the memories come back and you revel in the fondness of the past. They come and go as they please, but each of them add a new page to your book...sometimes maybe even two. I'm sure all of you have suddenly gotten really close to someone and then randomly they vanished from your life...right? God let me not be the only one going through this *Awkward*.

Wow I lost my train of thought again. Guess that means that this post is over... OR DOES IT?
No really I'm done. Stay loose random strangers who read this, maybe someday you'll be a chapter as well.

Minor Irks of Friendship...

I had two reasons for writing this post. One because I realized that writing it all out helps give me a clearer perspective of my situation, and two, because I hoped that those of you out there reading this would be able to understand what I'm feeling.

Every now and then there comes a point where one of our friends becomes a downright nuisance. You may not realize it, you may wonder how it happens but more often than not you will find yourself regretting becoming friends with that person. There's a period we go through symbolizing this where they say every action, every word spoken by that person seems to irritate the hell out of you. That individual becomes a pesky fly that you just want to swat or make it go away. The weird part is you can't ignore it since because that person is a part of your life you will, needless to say, be spending a certain amount of time with them daily. So now what? In my opinion downtime from that person I feel is the best cure. After all they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... Unless that person has become an absolute dick for no reason; then screw logic and chuck em like a burnt potato.

For those of you wondering where I'm going with this post, don't worry I'm not done yet (oh the joy for you). Actually I also wanted to talk about another element of this slightly toxic relationship called friendship. You'll probably be able to relate with me for this one. I'm sure for each of you at some point of time there has been a situation where someone close to you has let you down. Now I'm not talking about doing something that's a game breaker for the relationship. No I'm talking about minor disappointments, stuff the other person may have not realized but you have. Like plans you were really looking forward to being suddenly cancelled. Or wanting to meet someone after a while but the other person not giving any effort towards making that happen. Now believe me these are just thoughts of mine that seem to float about aimlessly in my head. To me they seem true but it could be a whole other reality for you. Nevertheless this is my blog, these are my words so like I enjoy saying... Deal with it.

Now you're probably wondering when I'm going to shut my trap and end this post (figuratively speaking); be patient I've only got one last thing to point out. So this is a thought that I've really been wanting to express for a while now but haven't been able to find an outlet till today. A few days ago I witnessed a scene that made me finally realize that friends can be classified into two separate categories, those who are there for you through the good and bad and those who are there to have fun... And I'm sure right after you've read that you're already classifying your current friends circle into the two groups and deciding to only keep those who will be there for you. The thing is if we did that, we'd all be left with very, very few friends. There has to be a balance of all kinds even in this case. Getting back to the original situation, a friend of mine (well actually more acquaintance than friend) recently found himself in a bad situation. Now of those who are close to him who were present with us at that time only one volunteered to help out whereas the others merely criticized the situation as a waste of their time. Wow that was a lot harder to explain than I thought it would be without actually giving away what happened. So that brought me to thinking, if I was stuck in that person's shoes, who would help me out. Now I don't mean merely provide cheer support from a distance, I mean actually getting deep into my troubles and helping me solve them. Hmm I can't seem to think of anyone. Maybe I need new friends, or maybe it's time to meet new people. *Disclaimer* To all of you out there reading this, before getting mad after reading what I may or may or not have said about you, take a deep breath and consider why this might be true.

Anyways I guess I just needed to get this all out, it's high time I started writing about what I feel, even if it is to a bunch of complete strangers... or maybe I'm retarded, yes that definitely could be an option.

Why everyone is related to Pinocchio.

Yes it's true. I bring you startling evidence that deep down inside we're all made of balsa wood and are blessed by a fairy to one day become a real boy (ladies sorry for the gender bender, blame Disney not me). Now let's see, there are three aspects of Pinocchio that I can remember from my childhood. The first two, while useful to understand I find less significant  compared to the third element.

For starters Pinocchio is a wooden boy. Now I can get all fancy with my choice of words and tell you in 5 different ways of how this is useful to know. Instead though I'll preserve my dignity (and your interest) and lay the whole thing out simple. So being made of wood is a real bummer. I mean splinters everywhere. It also means you're completely at risk of your surroundings with the greatest threat being mankind. Similarly there will always be people in your life wanting to cut you down and turn you into toothpicks (the minty kind with the green tips). So should you let that get you down? Damn straight you shouldn't! You should be like little Pinoke and always have faith in yourself. The little tyke believed that he was a real boy and he eventually became one. Follow in his wooden footsteps..

Our next big reveal is that Pinocchio had an issue with lying. Now if you're as bad as me when it comes to lying (I blush like crazy) then obviously this isn't an issue for you since nobody believes you anyways. However for the rest of you more skilled at this fine art, lying really is like a time bomb waiting to go off. Now I'm not saying that your nose will grow or anything, although think of how epic that would be, but it's definitely going to bite you on your behind later on. Trust me, I have friends who I know still regret not being upfront when faced with a difficult situation. They learned 'big time' that lying, never works. However this rule only applies to lies you use to save your butt, I mean lies to keep people's dignity intact are still sorta okay.

Our final element of this amazingly confusing post is that Pinoke was a puppet, and in reality so are we. Now this is a bit more difficult to explain as there quite a few ways in which strings have been stitched through our ligaments. Let see, there are firstly those who are influenced by the media. People sporting designer bags like it actually matters. A bag is a bag, status symbol or not; if the world ever does end up being destroyed by a giant fireball, that shit is toast. There are also those led astray by social pressure. Peoples actions, harsh remarks, and snide jokes directed towards you can usually push you against a wall of your own decisions.Eventually you'll be forced to climb it only to fall down flat on your back. Finally and most importantly there are those who are led astray by individuals. Deceivers, two-faced friends and sadly people who toy with your emotions have all in some way been part of our social circle. The part that most of you won't believe is that each one of us has played these roles as well, although till this day we may remain blissfully unaware of the harm we caused to people. For those of you on the receiving end, the effect is almost painful to witness. It destroys your belief in humanity and trust when your perception of a person is completely changed by that one sudden action that deep down inside you'd always hoped wouldn't occur. Wow I sorta lost myself in my words over there, but I really hope I didn't go overboard like I usually do.

So now that I've mercilessly analyzed a simple Disney movie better than any literature teacher could, I guess I'll let you in on why then the movie still brings a smile to my face every time I see it... his name is Jiminy Cricket. Our conscience in the form of a friend. Someone who's there to see you through the wrong and guide you into the right. True he is a bug and max has a life span of what like 6 weeks, but at least he's useful enough to keep around (totally wrecked that emotional moment).

Wow I didn't know Disney had so much thought involved when they wrote the screenplay for the movie. Or maybe that's just me and my crazy overactive imagination. Still I now have an outlet, even it's a small one. I guess this is the end? Till next time my brain decides to go haywire this is me saying 'buh-bye'.

Friends, the weird glass cannon.

I swear to God this better not be a depressing post -_-. I'm tired of being all melodramatic so for a change I thought I'd write a bit more about reality and the important lessons to be learned from it.

Now I'm betting that 50% of you will have no idea whatsoever of what I'm talking about whereas the other 50% will get what I'm dishing out almost immediately. So for the modest 50% of you who have no idea what I'm talking about as well as the curious few of you who enjoy reading what I have to say (you're probably crazy), let me elaborate on why I've decided to link one of life's necessities to an awkward analogy of a weapon.

Okay so for starters what is a glass cannon? Clearly if you haven't gotten a basic idea by now, then perhaps you need some help. Still for convenience sake, I'll explain it all out. In essence a glass cannon is basically a metaphor for something that seems incredibly strong and powerful but yet breaks at the slightest touch. Now to me, friends and friendship is a lot like that.

Before you get ahead of yourself and automatically decide you've read enough and instinctively shut this link, let me at least explain what I'm trying to get at. As I was saying friends and friendship is lot like a glass cannon. Think about it, they've always been there for you, strong, everlasting and powerful enough to help see you through almost anything you encounter in life. Yet there are those moments where that tiny precise element that puts them at risk leads to the shattering of any link or concern they may have had for you.

Now as the saying goes ' it's every man for himself'. Clearly this should have been written as a rule of conduct when it comes to those you spend your time with. I mean trust me there are times when you're cursing yourself for being foolish enough to trust some people. So then why keep friends at all? The answer is quite simple, the human body hungers for interaction. Good or bad, love or hate, we need to interact with the rest of the world to function sanely. If not you might end up like me, lost in a world of your own thoughts, and trust me you do not want that.

So that's my take on this perilous topic and somehow I've turned one of nature's greatest gifts into a curse. Yeah I definitely have issues. Yet I weirdly enough have a lot of friends. Maybe opposites attract? The socially awkward teenager that can't seem to stop getting to know people. That would be an epic movie plot. Till then I'll just keep to myself, with writing keeping me company...