Companions - Legeriz 10

'God your music taste is awful', Kristen whined from the back seat while being crushed by the boys, who clearly had never understood the concept of leg space. 'Guys stop man spreading!', Liv piped in from the front, enjoying her younger sister's irritation while she reclined in the passenger seat, hand playfully resting on Trip's as he stared intensely on the road, begging the signal to turn green.

The car revved as Trip sped up, determined to make it to their spot before some other group god-forbid stole it. 'Oi!', Jason complained as the car swerved into the parking lot, making them all jerk as Trip parked. Groans and stretches followed as the worn out crew at the back clambered out, clearly too big for the tiny sports car that was given to Trip for his birthday. 'Next time were taking tank', said Mike, sighing as he stepped out from the rear. 'Your behemoth would take us a week to get here' Trip retorted back, clearly nothing was better than his little souped up charger.

The grass was still damp from the morning dew as the group trudged their heavy baskets, blankets and an assortment of games, sports equipment and sound systems towards the lake. 'Finally!', Kristen whined as she dumped her bags onto the ground, not used to being dragged out of bed so early in the morning. 'Oh Kris you're such a big baby' Liv smirked as she placed the picnic basket on the lush green grass, clearly pleased with their early arrival as the cool waters shimmered with the sun's light directly in front of them.

'Cannonball!!!', Jason screamed as he propelled himself of the lake deck, splashing the girls with water who expectedly shrieked with displeasure from the unplanned downpour. 'Jason you ass'. Kristen retorted as he resurfaced, hair sleeked back despite the copious amounts of wax he'd lobbed in it. 'What, I thought it was funny', Jason said meekly as he stood dripping wet in front her, upset that he'd potentially wrecked his chances with the girl that gave him butterflies when she spoke. Kristen sighed, handing Jason a towel to dry himself off, which he graciously accepted.

It was noon when the chicken sandwiches (crusts cut off for Mike) were passed around to the hungry boys who wolfed them down, starving after the day's swim. 'Phawnks' Trip muffled, between mammoth sized bites. 'Heaven help feed you boys when you go off to college in September', Kristen sighed as she shamelessly gave half her remaining sandwich to Jason. 'It's fine Kris', Jason said as he gulped down her sandwich, 'I can totally cook if I set my mind to it, just like that Gordon Ramsey guy, except more good looking... and younger' he added as an after thought. 'You nearly set Liv alight at our last barbecue', Mike chuckled, 'And we ended up ordering from El Pasto since you burned all the burgers. I may like my meat well done but yours looked they were besties with the sun'. That got him a tub of coleslaw smacked over by a slightly miffed Jason, who clearly believed his culinary expertise were of noteworthy mention.

The air was beginning to cool as Trip and Liv went off for a walk, hoping to salvage what was originally planned as a romantic afternoon for the two, till Jason and Kristen wheeled in. Mike lay fast asleep on the soft blanket, his gentle snores keeping away other picnickers from residing too close to the group. 'What you up to Kris?', Jason questioned as he trotted over and sat down besides Kristen, her pen peacefully scribbling away on an olive leather bound notebook. 'Just sketching Mike', she responded back idyllically, 'who would imagine that such a bundle of energy would make such a perfect subject to capture'. 'Huh he's not all that perfect', Jason grumbled as he peeked over her shoulder, the same butterflies beginning to appear between the now digesting chicken sandwiches in his stomach. 'Jealous?', Kristen chided, her delicate hands reaching up to scratch Jason's chin, clearly making him stand up, flushed with embarrassment. 'I am not!', he said, voice breaking, ' I just think I'd make a better model than Mike'. Kristen smiled at him, enjoying the response she was getting, 'Is that so? Well I'm free next Friday if you feel like posing over dinner.' 'Erm... yeah sure that would be perfect', Jason responded, trying very hard to maintain his cool as he took in what was happening.

'What did I miss?', Mike grumbled towards Kristen and Jason as he pushed himself upright. 'Nothing!', they both exclaimed back as Trip and Liv came trudging back, hand held in each others. 'Shall we head back?', Jason motioned excitedly, giving a quick wink to Kristen, as he began to help pack up. 'You're in a good mood', Liv asked suspiciously as her eyes went from Jason to her younger sister who coolly looked back into hers, olive-green staring back at ice-blue.

The sunset reflected over the now still lake, as a group of shadows made their way back to the car that was perhaps too small for the 5 of them. Their laughter grew quieter and the land returned back to peace as the group unknowingly said bye for the last time, to a place they had grown to love over the years, and made way for a new chapter of memories as the cycle of companions continued.

Nothing arrived - Legeriz 9

The muffled sounds of the car engine nuzzled the silent night as the creak of an older door crisped through the air and a shrouded figure emerged. His presence was unfamiliar to the silent country-side; a road that passed through was lost by the mountains that encompassed it. The area was dispersed, an island of green sheltered by nature yet with its arms wide open to the strangers that came through.

He sighed, keys turning against the engine, silencing the quiet purr and sinking the night back into serenity. The skylight gave way to the winter blossoms in full bloom, as the night dew lay crystallising on them. He began a brisk pace through an unfamiliar path, yet memory served as nd guide as his steps seemed to be taking him higher into the green hills. Muscle memory steered the stranger up the path as his breath grew laboured; time clearly sinking into his slowing body. The figure stiffened as he reached the summit and smiled at the view rewarded for his journey.

The moonlight dipped, illuminating the strangers' face as he slouched down upon the grass, damp with the dew, but unbothered by the wetness all the same. He smiled, hazel eyes glistening in the lights reflection, as his flecks of his auburn beard and long hair moved ever so slightly, jostled by the night wind, and memories began to come to life...

Her floral dress bounced in the sunshine as he lay a blanket onto the still wet grass, happiness bounding through her. The hillside looked beautiful as the mid morning sun ever so carelessly broke through the birch trees that sheltered its crest. He smiled at her, specks of auburn shooting through his young and energetic face as his eyes met the ones they had been searching for all day; blue, like the sky above them, and full of a love he still wondered why she felt for him. She gently lay down, head carelessly falling into his lap as his heart began to accelerate. A curious giggle, almost as if she knew the effect he was having on her.

'This will always be', she chimed, eyes never leaving his as her words created an eternity within them...

The moon began to sink into the hillside as faded rays revealed the stumps of birch trees that once stood at its crest. The stranger that had lay sitting there for what seemed like hours began to rise. Swiping away the last of the dew that clung to his jeans he made his way back to the silent car that now lay hidden in darkness. It had been 19 years since he had first started coming here by himself, 19 years where nothing arrived. 

Twins - Legeriz 8

Fire

The porcelain vase flew past her face, shattering against the wall behind her, as a large and menacing fist came into her line of sight, blinding her instantly... Darkness

She awoke, vision blurred as her lungs struggled to take in air. She gasped against the nothing as her hands scrambled to identify the surroundings. It was dark, dusty and her heart was pounding. Whispers of white light cracked through the porous walls as her eyes sensitised themselves to their surroundings. Marble; ivory and beautiful, as the one she had seen not long ago, adorned the square space. Neat chunks shaped into the wall intensifying the illusion of an infinity space yet still ensuring that its occupants were aware of the compressing size.

Head pounding, she pushed against the walls, tears hot and wild, running down her face as the fear of closed spaces took over her. Whimpers were heard and past to no avail as she broke down by the now suffocating room and collapsed into the silence. His face appeared and she felt his pain now consume her.

Ice

She playfully bit his lip as he throatily chuckled. His breath was alluring and cool as he grabbed her with a desire unmatched by any before. His lips traced hers as the embrace continued. The aqua waters playfully swirled around their legs as the sat on their boards, clearly uninterested in the golden sand and waves before them.

Smirking, his strong hands guided her towards the waves that lay ahead. They paddled eagerly towards the large and cascading white curls, fear playfully skirted away, hearts full of a desire to triumph. He rose, balancing perfectly on his board, as he began a large decent; the waters guiding him towards victory. The water crested, and he soared, ruler of the sea for a moment, eyes effortlessly staring towards the horizon ahead. She watched in awe, as the wave took him higher and faster; heartbeat accelerated as the water grew large, his balance stumbled and the ocean consumed him.

He fought, hands pummelling towards the surface, but the water continued to beat down. Irises widened as his lungs filled with sea water, and his breathing slow, suffocating into the darkness. As the air escaped him, he felt a familiar feeling of connection, tears streamed through the salt water as he felt his sisters pain. 

A Conversation to Myself

Outcasts
It pains me to say how much influence a person can have on your life.

People were shaped by surroundings as evolution determined that we would adapt to suit the life around us.

Yet resistance constructed itself as an outcast; torn from normality but born to be different. How would these individuals survive? Alienate or be alienated as social norms lured us to die down our differences and take a muted stance amongst the rest.

Most of this rarely affects us till we find ourselves in a situation where like for like rarely seems to be the case. Then what?

I've always wondered whether humans can test the concept of being social beings. We are after all considerably dispositioned to interact amongst ourselves without alternate thought.

Perhaps it is the case that we enjoy the normality of it? It becomes second nature to conduct a muted version of ourself around others and then we are trained to relish that diminished encounter.

For the last 22 years I've recognised the limitations of my ability to interact with a wide range of people. A majority of that time I spent developing my ability to understand the more niche aspects of personalities to better blend into the surroundings. Yet was it all worth it?

True; I stand now an individual with a chameleon-like ability to force a personality onto myself to better represent the company I am in, but at what cost? We try so hard to be relevant amongst others that we lose the relevance to ourselves without them.

All I've wanted was to be passionate about what others felt passionate about. It was more of an obligation to better showcase how much I cared, and hence, how much value I would add to that person's life. A bit like a selling proposal where people pitched their interests to match that of others but more sophisticated than the random draw that had been our system of selection for so long.

An errant thought that has been nagging at the back of my head for weeks to resolutely recognise as being not a problem of who I am, but rather a personified flaw that should have been noticed long ago. By very definition a majority of people would consider it an asset, but I now realise that I grow tired of the charade that is the self imposed interest onto the lives of others.

Do not get me wrong, I am by no means broken from normality. Rather I find myself more able to command a larger depth of difference when dealing with individuals who consider themselves to be more exotic in personality types. Yet the constant weight of constructed emotions begins to burden me for minor scenarios and I find myself withdrawn from individuals who I do not view as being selective priority.

Does this make me a bad person? Perhaps not. It does however make me human; at least a part of me. 

A time once forgotten - Legeriz 7

[Part 2/2]

'Some things never change', she chimed in happiness, her voice unfamiliar to the beautiful silent apartment they glided into as the lift door made its familiar 'ding' back down.

'Do you like it?', he questioned tersely, knowing the answer already, a familiar vision he'd replayed in his mind over and over ever since he foresaw it many years ago.

'It's beautiful', she spoke in awe, the moonlight now filtering in through the disappearing clouds, highlighting the penthouse in all its glory. The white engraved marble extended from the lobby into the magnificent living room. Skylights and floor length windows brightened up the muted home, as victorian pillars supported the 3 stories. She gently placed her hand on the cold Italian marble that covered the open-kitchen counter tops and looked at him, a sense of pride about her of all that her brother had accomplished since the last time she had left him.

'Bit of an upgrade', he chuckled, as his elder sister took in the awe of the place that he had come to call home. 'Just a bit', she teetered back, a game they had played in unison over the past years. 'But some things are just the same', she smiled eyeing the boxes of Chinese takeaway containers carefully placed on the carved mahogany table. He chuckled to himself, his voice echoed through the marble pillars as they sat down to eat.

'So how long are you here for this time', he asked, tensely awaiting her response. 'My client's being flown here by private jet as we speak, and I expect to have things wrapped up within a week or so', she answered, mind flashing through the millions of minute details that underlay the foundation of this case. He sighed, placing his chopsticks precariously on the half eaten box of Kung-Pao. The rain had picked up outside, and Manhattans streets were feeling the beating of mother nature.

'How's things on your end?, she asked, shifting the topic in an attempt to take his mind away from what she knew he was thinking about. 'Have you spoken to her?'

His eyes flashed silver as he glared back, like diamonds ignited as he realised the energy he was releasing and once more retained perfect composure... It had been nearly a decade since he had lost control, and he would not be starting now. 

Stay like this forever - Legeriz 6

[Part 1/2]

The raindrops beat against the glass pane as he overlooked the New York skyline. 'Typical Manhattan', he smirked, back against the rapidly cooling glass as he slipped on the black jacket that lay on the leather couch, a gift he hadn't yet forgotten to remind her of. The lift door chimed as he left the now silent penthouse, 34 floors down and he was out, the concierge kind enough as always to call him a cab.

The silent humming of the black Mercedes was relaxing as they swerved through the streets. 'It won't be long now' he thought, as the car gilded into the airport. He tipped the driver as he escorted him under umbrella through to the airport lounge. The lighting was dimmed as per custom at this hour as he looked at the terminal announcements. 'Delayed', he sighed to himself as he trod to the lounge bar, a familiar face greeting him with a smirk and a flash of red hair, a dry martini placed in front of him. His phone buzzed as he nibbled on the olive, clearly old habits were hard to beat. He smiled as he headed down to the arrivals gate where he lay precariously in the distance, able to see but not be seen.

She walked, pink clutch and slate jacket a familiar sight, with an air of regality that he'd grown accustomed to over the years. After all it had been 6 since last time he'd seen her face. Suppose being a hot-shot lawyer does that to you. Now now, he teased at his conscience, she's doing this for the good of people; something with a far better purpose that what he was currently working for. She saw him, face lit up as always and then relaxed into informality as she brushed against his chest, a soft hug that welcomed her back. 'Welcome back sister', he breathed into her hair as he carried her bags back towards their awaiting ride back home.

We screwed up - Legeriz 5

The following is an extract of the author's exaggerated view point of a failed relationship. In no way is it meant to reflect reality.

- Pride.

A meaningless emotion, formed of our personification as  human beings of what we consider superiority. It defines us sometimes, vigorously running through our bloodstream, beating deeply inside our hearts as we look outside to the world, challenging it for our existence. 

- We run. 

Our pride, forces us to avoid what stands tall and strong, in plain black and white. Denial to accept, denial to believe in what we can't fathom to accept. It was done, from the moment that it started, and you and I both knew that. Yet we fight, meaninglessly, for the chance to not only rebuild but to claim back. Claim back that stance we had where we thought we knew it all. The perfect failure, a relationship doomed to start from the moment it was planned to succeed. Pride brought it down upon us, and like all tyrants, claimed another two for its victory. At the end of day, none of us won, pride did. 

- Then comes the humour. 

The sick, twisted, mentality that above all, this is perhaps is a bit ludicrous; almost amusing to an extent. 

"He giggled. An unusual form of laughter, that teetered on the edge between dark and light, its meaning quite indiscernible to those who weren't aware of its context. Surely this cannot be happening again. After all, you were supposed to be different. When you experience pain, you're not stupid enough to deliver back are you? You learn, and recognise and perhaps move on? Nope, he sighed, his breath laced with the fumes of early hours drinking. Never a good sign. Hysteria often cropped up in his list of common words to describe what he was feeling.

Relaxed, his mind seemed overjoyed by the thought of the future. Deep down he knew he was above this, but the joy of tormenting someone for the pain they had caused him, was far too tempting a treat to give in. He succumbed and so the cycle of emotion began once more."

- Live for the drama, die for the pain; do it all over again. 

"It's all a game to you isn't it? Yes, agreed, cheekily smiling back as if his mind was cruel enough to inflict such a rhetorical response. True he knew he'd hurt, but at this moment, this was a game, that nobody won. And if nobody won, he sure as hell was not going to end up on the bottom of the pile. His responses, grew increasingly more platonic and cryptic, simple words delivering context with a finality about it."

- Freedom.

The first few days are the hardest. Then time begins to lapse, a blurred memory of evil, sighs become that of remembrance, and what would have been. Bruised but not broken. A lesson to learn from, for next time. 

The reality of it all - Legeriz 4

There comes a point where acceptance of the inevitable is a less painful alternative than continuing to fight a battle lost. You've experienced the very best and the very worst of a path that life could offer, and now you've reached a point where perhaps you end up feeling nothing at all. The truth is hardest to acknowledge, where pushing for something gives you the chance to relive the memories again, rather than let the dust settle and move on. It's done, things never worked out and we continued to be. 

It has been a while since I last keyed the point in my life where we had paused off. Perhaps it was something that I mentioned earlier, where I really only write when things aren't going the way I thought they would be. Drifting is a common emotion that I tend to channel, where we tend to experience a blur of moments, each day passing by as a second; as if we induced a rush to escape the moment. Distracted by all else, yet focused on one, it's quite amusing when you think of it. That we as people fail to recognise the speed of time until we reflect upon a chapter closing; then it all slows down. We hurt, embrace in the moment and then move on. Time speeds up. We're a blur again. 

The reality somehow never appealed to me. I was always a bit delusional with my view point of life, choosing to believe in the extraordinary. Defiance to common human problems was an addiction hard to beat, a chance to reflect upon as a higher power, one I feel stemmed towards megalomania rather than anything else. Hunger for the chance to be different, to not be burdened by how life could affect you. Yet we are human, and we can break. 

Controversial as this may seem, this limbo where currently my mentality exists, is quite comfortable. Think of it as a weightless experience, ethereal yet grounded. There is no significant influence on my life at this point and I remain unshackled by the opinions of others. The hardest part going forward will be to leave this place. To give in to temptation and will yourself to connect on a celestial level with someone who you find worthy. I suppose, there lies to beauty of it. The unknown has a lot to offer, but only time will decide when to invoke it. Till then I wait, a blur again as we continue to be.

The Traveller

The luminous aura of the fading sunset dipped into the shadows of the mountains as Larxan gave one final look to the scenic valley that now stood below him. There wouldn't be many travellers on this road after nightfall and the village that he had called home for the past 25 years grew silent, smoke trickling from the fires of hungry workers coming back to their families.

Greyback, his steed and companion for the last 3 years grew restless, his owner seemed unable to carry out the journey that had been planned for months. The master sighed and tugged his reins, pulling them forward into the cracked road that would be their path for the night. It had been years since he had been called to service but such was the life Larxan had chosen. Solitude and skill were two words that over the years had been brain washed into him and the 4 other souls like him. He dug his shoes into the side of Greyback's saddle, urging him to make haste for their mission was one of essence. The horse shifted from a stride to gallop, the fields blurring past them as the night swallowed the hills into darkness.

It would be midnight by the time they stopped, the aura of moonlight lighting their path to a grove where they would break for the day. Larxan unfastened the heavy saddle as his horse neighed a sign of relief, beginning to unpack the make-shift camp; light weaved through the thick redwood branches creating a spectral-light appearance. Flints were produced, and  a small fire heated the pair's meagre dinner. The chill began to settle as Larxan wrapped his weather-worn cloak around him, nestled close to the burning embers that grew whiter in the night. The sound of shuffled footsteps drew near.

The figure approached, taller than most, his shrouded face slowly unveiled by the now white hot ash of the previously roaring fire. The man gestured to the ground next to Larxan, indicative of sharing the space for the night; Larxan scowled but relented, offering the man the remnants of Greyback's meal. The stranger broke into a crooked smile, his wrinkled face excited by the prospect of food. "Crodeus", the man barked, before wolfing down the meal.

"Haven't met too many travellers on this path of late", Crodeus grunted, focused on consuming the scrap of foods now lodged between his grimy nails, "City folk mainly take the road past Harshmollow Creek to avoid the wolves that roam these parts". "That's a fine beast you have there", he motioned to Greyback who clearly seemed feral to the newcomer; "Bet he'd fetch a pretty penny over in Sardonia".

"Is that so?" Larxan questioned,  ignoring the latter comment and speaking for the first time since the two met, "And then where do you fit in?", his voice unforgiving in the night air. The stranger seemed not to take offence and prattled on, pleased in his own mind that this fool had stopped, already envisioning the gold he'd receive for Greyback after plundering the person who offered him his meal. "I am what you would call an acquirer, I take what is owed to me". He motioned Larxan to the glistening dagger that was neatly hidden in his robe fold.

Larxan seemed unperturbed by the weapon,"People are always fighting for what is not. Wars fought for land that belonged to others, blood shed for women and gold, champions battling to defend their title. There was a time when good and evil attacked with honour. Virtue held in the days of old. Time has changed sadly; there are those like you, parasites who prey on weak and scavenge the good", his voice held steady despite the rapid pace of delivery. The man with the dagger seemed irked, word stung more than blades. A broken smile appeared on his scarred face momentarily as he lunged at Larxan.

A glimpse of silver was all the warning that Crodeus was given before 12 inches of steel burrowed through his jaw killing him instantly. The man was dead before he collapsed onto the ground, blood darkening the earth, soaking into the grass now wet with dew. Larxan unhinged his blade from the figure, wiping it down on the wet grass before attaching his saddle. The horse seemed indifferent by the deadman, a sight that had been common over the years he had been with Larxan.

It was cold now, the fog swallowing the two as they drifted into the distance leaving behind the man that had been alive only moments before. A cloak preserved the now motionless body as a single note lay arched onto it. Figures shifted in the bushes, their paws wet from the mountain run, hungry for the dinner that had been provided. The moonlight glistened softly, shedding light onto the viscous ruby blood, as the letters on the parchment began to glow...

2016

Shower and shaved, his hair gelled back into large waves that only highlighted his features, he sat; crisp white shirt barely phased by the oakwood chair as he browsed through his memories so neatly arranged by the glowing screen in front of him. This day was particularly special to him; he remembered it so clearly the last time it came down.

A familiar feeling came over him; verity. Instincts had guided him to do what needed to be done, but body and mind were in conflict as decisions that were set in stone were foresaken and choices were made, coins were flipped. However the year had been kind; it had forgiven him for the paths that had been taken and he had been rewarded for his solitude; perhaps not in the way one would expect but exemplary regardless. A shiver ran down his spine as he wiped his screen; a blank page in front of him, the cursor blinking. The first word was hardest but the rest flowed through as a memory that had built up over time. This is his tale 

The year brought with it pain,

Flesh was inflicted and memories were tortured,

The year brought with it happiness, 

Realisation gave people hope,  

Love came from avenues unexpected, 

Where betrayal was shown by areas unheard of, 

This year friends changed hands, 

A barter never spoken off but realised all the same,

People were met, and people were forgotten,

This year brought mistakes, 

You and I both know where we fucked up,

But we also know how we grew, 

Acceptance was a big part of this,

This year brought chances, 

Foolish ones but taken regardless, 

And for once... 

Perhaps things may work out.

He smiled as his phone flashed light blue. It was time to go out and celebrate. The cloudless night brought with it serenity as he lifted his jacket on, eager to bring in what was bound to be the next step in an exciting adventure. He smirked, an expression so familiar yet so heartwarmingly unique, as he closed the chapter onto another year. 

Orbit - Legeriz 3

"Few people in the world have the ability to realise their existence as time announces it. Even less can truly learn to understand it..."

He stared across the dimly lit apartment; spotless aside from the remnants of his previous meal lazily left on the hardwood table. He smirked, a muscle memory of sorts as his memory flashed back to the evening a few hours ago. "Your smile has something evil about it", they had teased. Truth, he did hide behind his glacial expressions, emotions buried deep down attributed to what was on his mind at that time. 

The sky had begun to lighten. A sign of another late night taken too far. He couldn't help it though. It was the life he had chosen for now. A decision for the future, paid for by the present. He stretched, tired bones cracking due to the sudden cold. Perhaps it was time for bed. 

Weeks had past. His pace quickened as his eyes trained themselves onto the frozen leaves. The morning dew had frozen beautifully onto the still coloured oak. Sun shining, his breath misted as he approached the nearby station. Mornings were the hardest part of the day. Until he reached he was a blur of energy and stress, fuelled by will and caffeine alike. So much to do, so little time, he chuckled to himself. 

Grey sofa's seemed so comforting to him. "Wake up! She playfully announced as he seemed to be drifting off mid conversation". Apologies were of course due as this wasn't the first time this had happened. His brown eyes stared endearingly at her. She seemed to understand and let it ago, a leniency he did not deserve but wanted. "What's new with you?" he asked, a question he could have answered himself a few years ago, but time had robbed some of the bond they had once shared. The busy streets flashed red by the cars moving on outside. it was the first of many weekends to come like this. Things needed to change.

The summer sun shined its light onto the early gym enthusiasts. Music drowned his accelerating heartbeat as he worked away the morning tiredness with self-inflicted pain. His mind trailed off to the gym tv's and he nearly crashed onto himself on the treadmill. A nice cup of coffee was definitely called for. Today was going to be another good day he silently announced to himself. As if onlookers didn't already think he was already crazy enough for singing along to his spotify playlist. 

Bubbles danced on the champagne flutes as he placed two plates down upon the wooden patio furniture. "Since when did you have time to cook?" she questioned confusingly staring down at the beautiful plate of food, a concept most people around him knew was a rarity in itself. "Since I made it a priority", he smilingly answered back. Lazy rays of light lit up the dark balcony and they looked down at the children playing in the verandah below. Maybe this life wasn't so bad, he thought to himself. 

Years had past. Grey hair lined the arches of his temples although time seemed to have left his face untouched. He smirked as he looked upon the dark glass walls. It had been a while since he had had a night like this. Many a year ago he accepted, when things were perhaps harder than they were meant to be. Now life seemed almost automatic. Almost as if it were in orbit. He yawned as the sky begun to lighten... and cycle started once more. 

Lighthouse - Legeriz 2

A hill. Silent and in the distance. Meadows. Encircling the centre. The horizon. Crashing into the landscape. A man. Standing in the distance. Paralysed. Gravity crashing upon him.

She lazed back into lush green grass as the sun warmed her alabaster skin. Sketch book in hand her mind drifted into the pretty picture she had spent the afternoon crafting. People walked past, laughter echoing into the distance as they got further and further and then louder as the cycle repeated itself. What was she thinking of again? Oh yes, how nice things were right now.  

The wind chimed past her auburn hair. Whispers of nature, devoid of technology. Something mankind had yet to find a way to replicate. She sat up to enjoy it further, her eyes momentarily resting on the child smiling with his parents up ahead. Ice cream cone dripping as his mother carefully wiped his now chocolate covered mouth, he seemed irritated by the affection, clearly a desire to play. She smiled as the child pulled his parents towards the swings. Her attention turned to what she drawn. 

A green hill blossomed from the boundaries of the pages. A shaded figure looked directly at her. The girl in the book scared her. She smiled as her creation smiled back. Her reflection so perfectly captured and yet missing something. The girl picked up her sketch-pen, face scowling as she added in the final details. "There! Perfect"

The lights flickered, revealing how much the disease had taken from her. Her hospital room lay adorned from wall to wall with pictures. The monitor beeped, stable for now yet the spikes had been more frequent lately. Her eyes rested upon the drawing at the very edge of the room. She felt tired. Perhaps it was time for bed. The girl on the hill smiled back her. Her mouth covered in chocolate as she dragged her parents to the swings. The beeps began to accelerate...

SS.10 Recourse

The following pieces are a reflection of the experience both I and those around me have encountered. This 10 part series brings with it an attachment to a part of life built upon by a significant human emotion.

Disclaimer: The series is based loosely on sketches of random events. In no way is it meant to represent a factual life.

Song of Choice - "Millionaire" - Cash Cash

"You were given the chance to live a different life. A chance to be remembered. Yet you threw it away..."

There's a part of you that wants it all. The fame, money, love; the chance to cement yourself in a legacy that is spared by the ravages of time. 

There's a part of you that wants happiness. A life perhaps not so lavish but one worth remembering. Memories held by others that kept you alive in their minds. 

There's a part of you that wants it to end. To be rid of the responsibilities, dilemmas and struggles that lie both in the present and future.   

He enjoyed it. The allure of mystery that emanated. Who is he? What do you know about him? What do people say? 

Life was simple. Moulded by his desire and fuelled by the ability to act upon it. His likes, a fraction of what the world could offer, yet he took pride in the exclusivity of his enjoyment. This was his domain. His friends, a circle narrowed so tight it seemed impossible to fail. Failure would not be tolerated. Yet it was imminent. 

People drifted in and out of his life; almost a passé. The few who stayed, he grew bored. To him effort was a chore for the other side. Pragmatic at the very least, but effective in showcasing how grounded his views were. There was no room for new, there was no room to do anything that was perhaps different. 

Yet he joined the ranks of hundreds of thousands like him. Dreamers in reality, yet drained of the full circle of capability needed to bring visions to life. As time served its role, the dreams began to fade and reality gripped the ignorance that would soon lead to pain of every sorts. Mistakes were made and egos were beaten. Yet life can't be so cruel, can it? 

Links were restored and a second chance bestowed. This 'alternate life' you speak of may not be so bad. Balance was restored as people would say? However, natures are hard to change aren't they? 

He was happy. Happy in his own world, happy to lash out at whoever he wished, happy to live the way he always wanted to live. Milestone to milestone, each goal etched through. And perhaps that was the way it was meant to be. There would be no surprise ending. This was a path that wasn't meant to change. It was always and forever, constant. 

*This marks the concluding piece in The Reflection Series. Part 9 will remain unpublished as a request by the individual it resonates with. The author hopes that you have enjoyed reading*

Memories - Legeriz 1

She smiled. Coffee mug nestled in the folds of her hands as she gazed over the arched window that lit up the pale bedroom with pouring moonlight. Curtains drawn as her eyes hungrily looked onto the riverside that drifted along by her, still dimly visible by the cold ebony street lights that illuminated the narrow passage way.

Her breath misted up the cold glass as a shiver went down her spine. A bit early for winter she thought, but never too early, as she slipped on her satin robe. The shadowed individuals dancing in the virgin snowfall outside seem unaffected by the cold. The man, heavily scarfed and adorned in a suede trenchcoat seemed to be enjoying himself as his partner shyly kept her eyes on the ground below, careful not to trod onto his feet. She was perhaps taken aback by how different the night had turned out from the one she had perceived it to be. "You won't hurt me, Kairi", he snickered as she turned her view back towards him. She blushed, colour flooding her porcelain face as the man brought his closer to hers.

A perfect moment. The figure in the window continued to look down at the couple dance, her eyes though remained focused on the girl. Kairi looked up and for a moment their gaze met. She smiled at the figure, while the figure smiled back, her view unbroken as she continued to dance. Brown eyes stared back into brown as the familiar face looked on. Decades had passed yet the face in the window seemed unaffected by the ravages of time. The man brought her eyes back to his, fear and confusion swept across his face as he noticed the tears that trickled down Kairi's cheeks. She continued to smile.

The girl in the window had disappeared and a familiar sensation of emptiness seemed to encapsulate Kairi. It wasn't the cold, yet the chill of the night ending had begun to settle in. She continued to dance, fiercely determined to hold on. The moon had reached its zenith and light flooded through the streets. The figure had returned to bed, circular glasses lay precariously placed on top of her coffee mug. Next to it a familiar photo of the couple dancing on a night nearly identical to this.

Out on the street the night wind swept through, autumn leaves strewn aside. The path lay bare, footsteps hadn't graced it for several years now. The girl began to drift off into a dreamless sleep. Her fingertips instinctively reaching out for the photograph besides her. Scribbled neatly into the dark wood frame, she found what she always looked for.

"To Kairi,

Who made the night young again

                                   With Love,"

And then, the memory ended.

SS.8 Conflicted

The following pieces are a reflection of the experience both I and those around me have encountered. This 10 part series brings with it an attachment to a part of life built upon by a significant human emotion.

Disclaimer: The series is based loosely on sketches of random events. In no way is it meant to represent a factual life.

Song of Choice - "Say You Love" - Steinar

To be there for someone who doesn't want you. 

She saw him suffer, her heart aching as pieces of him lay broken off. A shell of what she remembered. Anger and betrayal erupted inside her as she pushed back against the view her eyes held. This wasn't meant to happen; not to her; not to him; not now...

You go through a period where after knowing a person for long, to see them disappear so suddenly, so frightfully fast can leave you questioning whether fighting for change was worth it all. To her the world had robbed someone she cared about. She lay alone yet surrounded. A busy kind of emptiness; one where stopping lets the pain set in, so you keep moving to avoid it ever catching up. 

There were those days though. Where things seemed to be shifting for the better. Those brief moments of happiness made life so much harder than they had to be. She had seen what could be, but it never lasted longer than for her to just to have hope again. So she turned to others, the few who she knew would listen. An attempt at consolation, one she didn't want nor see the point of having. Yet she had to try. 

The few months with him had hardened her. Years compressed into minutes she wished she could escape. Moments where she wondered, was it worth leaving at all? Despite all her success, glory and joy, she lay there back again at square one; conflicted. 

 

Independence

"This is my life; I aim to live mine to the fullest"

"There's so much more that I could be doing; This is my chance"

"These are the times we create memories with the people that will last with us forever""

Independence to me is a strange concept. I don't particularly view it as the ability to survive on your own. I see it more as a nature; the willingness to thrive in scenarios that you construct and have complete control of. As an independent individual; you rely not on the opinions or considerations of others. Your life was meant to be lead the way you want it to be lead. Any mistake or gain is yours to take pride in or accept.

Now to me this was something I found hard to believe. The ability to alienate how others would react and focus purely on self-gain is something that I have never been able to achieve; albeit sometimes I wish I could. The "right thing" in my mind involved the altruistic view that perhaps being there for someone would eventually work out. You soon begin to realise that life doesn't usually work that way. You very rarely find two individuals who are able lean back and forth onto each other in perfect balance. There will be those times when you feel left out and nothing really can be done to change it; besides accepting it.

Funny though; we don't realise how we sometimes delve in and out of our dependent and independent lives. See to an individual who does what's best for them, there may be times where being dependent onto someone is in fact what's best for them. Temporarily though; there's always that conflicting struggle between being tied down and realising you want this. Primarily I've found that people are quite defensive about being reliant on someone. A sign of weakness in there minds perhaps. More so the chance of getting hurt.

The three lines I wrote at the start of this piece. Which one appealed to you the most? Think about what kind of person that makes you. Are you dependent, independent or somewhere in-between?

SS.7 Dimensions

The following pieces are a reflection of the experience both I and those around me have encountered. This 10 part series brings with it an attachment to a part of life built upon by a significant human emotion.

Disclaimer: The series is based loosely on sketches of random events. In no way is it meant to represent a factual life.

Song of Choice - "Lost My Way" - MAX

Moonlight arched over the window as he awoke pale faced and drenched in sweat. Covers were thrown. He stood up. 

"The past haunts me still"

His silhouette faced the ivory mirror as he stared back into the cold brown eyes that he knew so well. Tears glistened as his irises refracted back the glowing moon. It was time to go back. To embrace the past that had denied him peace of mind. To look beyond the man that he had become. To see beyond his one-dimension. His vision blurred. 

"He smiled. The air bubbled with tales of happiness. They playfully argued. Memories that were made only recently bound tighter than steel. It was his priority. To restore the damage that had been done so as to begin anew. People scoffed. How could one trust so willingly? To care beyond that which others had been treated with for so long? Voices were brushed away carelessly. His desire to prove wrong the capability of people drove him further. Instilling change was his biggest strength and perhaps his only weakness. He was blinded. Ties shattered and life grew dark. "I've lost my way""

"People spoke about him with passion. He was friend to all yet relied on none? How could he? When people existed to use him. Don't let them in. They'd never understand you. They never did but he always let them in. Each one breaking a part that brought importance to his life. It darkened his view on what the world promised. Guilt, Greed, Gossip. Self-desire fuelled all it seemed. Why shouldn't it though? His was a world of survival, yet only he was the fool trying to build a future."

"They saw greatness. He saw only the next goal. Targets blinded his view. Like a never ending game, he simply wanted to move onto the next mission. His impatience soon saw the downfall of what could have been. He made mistakes. Sidetracked by others he flung himself into a life of tranquility that was time-bound to his need by the few. That need ended and he was left alone again. Pain welled up inside and he refused to see the good that he had left behind. Other's pride in him was mere dust that reminded him of a past when he was happy. He yearned for that yet searched in all the wrong places."

The moonlight calmed him. Heartbeats returned to normal as a smile reflected back from the mirror he saw into. "Never again". And then the walls returned. 

Strength

Pain pulled from anguish. Her heartbeat raced. Conflicting opinions clashed against each other like a story with no end. She exhaled. Memories replayed themselves. Each another reminder of the fool that she thought herself to be. A fool who sought to wander back into the circle of life she so despised. A life with no end.

They haunted her. Spiralling around her mind, weaving into what could only be her fragmented sanity. Yet she held herself together. Tears her water. Torment her air. She knew she was the one to blame. After all you can't lash out at what never was.

The cycle continued. Days became a blur of the same let-downs that were promised not to be repeated. They gelled together, a glue of mistakes realised too late. Then she looked at the monster she had created in herself. The hurt came.

She steadied. Her pulse stable. Breathing lowered. Must move on. Must not let them see. Must be brave. But why? What had she done to deserve this?

"If you let others use you, they will"

The morning sun spiralled into the tears that began to flow down her face. She promised herself she wouldn't cry. Warmth filled inside her. The emotions gave in. For a moment that seemed like an eternity, she was the person she despised the most. She was the cause and creation of her problems alone. She halted. But,... Those mistakes taught her the ability to see what others have yet to. To recognise how life was heading before it reached there. To fix a memory not yet broken. Those mistakes; they gave her strength.

She rose, her porcelain face damp from tears. And begin to live a new day.

Identity

"The Wisp Sings"- Winter Aid

You. The person who you are right now. That which has been crafted by years and years of memories that have stitched themselves up to lead to this one moment. You.

Your friends. A path selected. A mirror of you or a mirror of what's left? A difficult view to realise and a harder one to understand.

It's hard to conceive the thought that perhaps our lives are not merely dictated by the actions we take but by the actions of others. We seek courage from those who are brave. Look for advice from those who are smart. Hold close those who we love.

People have forever been indebted to each other. There is not a concept of a solo life. Yet our generation has grown more fearful of letting people in. They say that people like you are your biggest allies; but then they are also those who have your biggest faults. Embrace the different, or remain ring-fenced by yourself.

I've often wondered what would happen if I met a person so alike me that from the very start it felt right. Then I realised that perhaps that would have been a mistake. No one to argue with about differences that never occurred. No one to challenge the boundaries of who you are as a person. No one to make you see what you could be.

It would have been nice though. To have someone understand. Yet then perhaps what others fail to understand, we push too hard to see ourselves. Our identity; the person who we are at this point, reflects the changes that we've made to reach where we are. Constant has never been something to look forward to. For constant reflects an end, an end we're not sure if we're ready to accept.

To my mind, I stand by the decision to stray far and wide from what people see others to be. For if you don't give someone a chance, why should they?

SS.6 Will

The following pieces are a reflection of the experience both I and those around me have encountered. This 10 part series brings with it an attachment to a part of life built upon by a significant human emotion.

Disclaimer: The series is based loosely on sketches of random events. In no way is it meant to represent a factual life.

Song of Choice - "I'm A Mess" - Ed Sheeran

Continuation (noun); the state of moving on.

Very rarely are people able to admit when something is bad for them. A habit gone bad is the personified capability of the individual who has failed to pull back control into his or her life. Yet there lies great strength in admitting to the wrong that exists. Here are a few that seem to resonate more personally with me.

"Her way was that of indifference. She was master to none and slave to herself. Confrontation rarely passed her by and she floated, almost effortlessly. Yet she never took to stand besides those who had been there for her. Her life was stitchings of survival. Like a bat she was known by both bird and mammal yet separated by kind. He stood with her on that view. Never looking beyond. The bigger picture seemed to only involve them. The people who chose to be there were the one's who were found convenient. Yet with that they gave up their greatest strength; The power of choice. The pedestal was solid and supported one."

"His was of pain. He fell in too deep. Too trusting. The world hit back. Shunned, his hunger grew. He wanted his own reflection yet no one was willing to succumb to his identity. He closed off. Tensions escalated as people confused his intention in an almost emotional limbo. He had no one at one point and was in a void of own self-inflicted darkness. He found her. Life blossomed much to the envy of others. Bitterness spread and his happiness was not long lived. Life was cruel and took her away as well. He stood defeated. Then the odds turned. Yet fate has yet to decide what the end result will be."

"Her way was a mirror of his. She lived the same kind of pain, love, desire and envy of his yet was unable to break through the glass caged shaped by her own hands. She knelt, locked in and suffocated. Strangling herself with intentions that were meant to show love; yet perceived as mere convenience. To love but never be loved in return. Yet she lay trapped. Her sacrifice had already been too great. How could she leave it all behind? He spoke with similar pain. Yet life seemed to have granted his glimmer back. We all heal. Now was her turn to find herself capable of being set free.""

Will is a powerful thing. It can set forth the most unusual of events that piece together something new. There are those out there who are aware of this power and have begun testing their capabilities. There is so much that lays uncertain yet within the chaos lies pattern. You just need to will yourself to see it.

*To those out there who are still struggling with what has or will happen. Know that it gets better.*