The Fork Roads of Life

There will come a time in your life, perhaps not now or even a couple of years, but you will encounter a situation where a difficult decision has to be made, and when you do  you'd better hope to god that you've made the right now.

These decisions could be anything. However, the one thing that they will all have in common is that they will shape out a new path in your life based on the choice you make. They are those that make you look back and think, "What if I had done things differently?".

Being quite cryptic right now aren't I? I'm not sure if I am since this is usually how I tend to write a piece that I have difficulty in stringing together. It's like I want honesty but prefer the covering of falsity. Still, at least I'm making this attempt, so bear with me while I most likely make a fool out of myself writing this.

Anyways getting back to the topic of Fork Roads. You will need to make a choice and most of the time people look back with a mixture of curiosity and regret at what could have been a change in their life. I'm here to clear that feeling of doubt.

They say that when you first encounter a difficult scenario, your brain instantly registers the most desired situation acceptable and drives you towards that. However that only last for a short period of time, and the more you think about it, the bigger the worry becomes. When you make a choice, it should be one that reflects on what you feel is right to you, not anybody else around you. It is your life in reality and it is yours to choose how to live it. Let me tell you something; the person who knows you the best is YOU so it is your opinion that will matter the most to you. Do not be influenced by the words of many and forget the most important thoughts of one.

However to be completely unbiased, this scenario is quite subject to change depending on the ability of someone or something to influence your decision and give you the confidence to take a choice you were hesitant about. Still that rarely happens although think of how interesting that would be.

Yeah I may have just gone full retard with that post, so this is probably the most relatable thing you've ever read or the most useless one (I anticipate it's the latter for the most of you). Still it is my thoughts, my words and my actions, and as I've just pointed out what you say shouldn't really matter should it? After all you can be like this cat and say "Screw it".

When it hasn't been your day, week, month or even your year

Yes I know, I'm referencing F.R.I.E.N.D.S again but I can't seem to help myself. The more times I listen to their ridiculously addicting theme song, the more I realize how many lessons are stuffed into that tiny 3 minute piece of catchy music. So for now, like I say to everyone desperate enough to come to this place, "Deal with it", and sit back and listen to what I have to blabber about.

So being honest with all of you, this year hasn't been a particularly good so far. In fact it was downright crappy to be honest (wow never thought I'd be doing a TBH for myself) and lately I've come to realize that when life gets you all down and in the dumps getting depressed and whining about it won't actually do anything (like I'm doing so right now). Instead it's time to put on your black shades and show everyone that you're the boss of your own destiny. Wow I'm both gangsta and deep at the same time.

Yes this isn't one of my typical depressing morose ass posts mainly cause I've realized I've had enough of being down in the dumps. Now is the time to celebrate what's left of this memorable year, since if we don't, no one else will for us. While I get that what I wrote about in the previous sentence was probably the most retarded piece of advise I can ever offer you (and I've offered some pretty retarded advice), I still feel that it's valuable if you take it to heart.

Okay so now I know that summer vacation is ending quite rapidly and you probably don't have much time to read any of my weird thoughts, I'll just let you guys off easy and cut this one short. Remember though *Puts Shades On* it's time to get back and start living once again. I may have been partially high while writing this one, so come back later on this week for a nice little story.

So I had this brilliant little idea about the #ShadeChallenge. Basically take a photo wearing shades which proves that you're willing to make the difference to get better at life. Send me a pic and I'll probably write something I know about you.

Monica Ahuja [A.K.A Monz] The 'Bubble' is one of the newest additions to my friends circle (lol I need to have more than one to even make a circle) and has long been regarded as the bookworm with an edgy streak for partying. This year she showed her true colors as the fanatic wonder we've all come to know and love. Considering the fact that she's my slightly more sane sister, it's no wonder that I'm writing something nice since I know she'll get me something delicious for lunch tomorrow. Here's to the girl that still whines when we have a minute left one the parking ticket and put in a new one.This is her accepting the fact that it's time to put *DeM Shades* on.

Shirley D'Mello [Shirls/Shirlbombs] Easily the 'Wild Child' of the group, this is probably the only person who can match my ability for taking selfies. Body conscious but yet willing to flaunt it without a care, this lady and I have been through both hell and heaven (mostly hell since she's scratched me so many times). Completely willing to speak her mind, shirls may either be the most honest person I know, or the most insane (keeps changing). Weirdly unable to drive anything bigger than a nissan 'tida' this crazy african fashion girl plans on getting her 'Saudi in Audis' on very soon. Dibs on the first ride. This is her getting her photo-editing skills on with the #shadechallenge

Mahek Punjabi [Punju] was somehow a person who came into all of our lives through a weird turn of events. I mean normally I don't go to a school for just one year but I guess when you're as blonde as my friend above here, things like that tend to happen... not that I'm complaining. Now see when you're a person like Punju, you use your blondness to your advantage. Weirdly enough this girl is actually pretty smart. Like brainy with looks kinda smart. So definitely it's going to take some effort to get to know her. However once you do, you'll have her rolling her eyes at every corny thing you do (Come to think of it, I probably have a video of her doing that), and when she does, you know it's a sign that you've done something pretty stupid. Still when you're friends with her, I'm guessing that's okay. After all she can't even take a picture without it not being blurry ^. Still I wouldn't give up meeting her for all the kinder bars in the world (not sure about the opposite since she loves them). Anyways, this is her proving to all that she's as much a boss as anyone else and accepting the #shadechallenge while driving. Kids don't use that as a role model

Ruchika Bhatia [Ruch] The girl who's literally engaged to Tim Hortons, Ruch has always been that slightly weird friend that loves to party. As if being born with a multiple personality disorder wasn't enough, Ruch was given the enormous gift of not being a morning person. If you ever see her early in school during the week STAY BACK or she will attack. Apart from that though I'm not sure exactly how I feel about her. She's a curious individual in the sense that you can never know what she's thinking about. Maybe that's because she's not thinking about anything, but mostly it's some rather deep wordly issue. Oh yes she also prefers monkeys that look better than teenage boys. This is her going all gangsta and sending me a seriously cheesy pic of her accepting the #shadechallenge. Guess her and I will be doing this a lot in the coming months. P.S. if you ever get her mad, she WILL scream at you.

Misbah 'Ninja/Nundu/Potato' Mandai is a free thinking soul who is quite temperamental as she is rebellious. She's a lot like an uncorrupted version of someone I know, which makes her both entertaining and yet presentable to parents. Bit of a dare devil really, she's not afraid of bunking class once in a while if it's for a good cause. Weirdly though she and I have the most random of all talks imaginable, not to mention she sends me the LAMEST jokes alive. I mean it literally makes me face palm every time she whatsapp's me a joke. Still it's kinda awesome of how she's both good at Art and is going to culinary school to most likely become a chef. So long as the portions are large and crazy friends eat free, I'll be more than happy to visit her restaurant in the future.

Sydelle "Syd" D'sa. You must be VERY careful. It's not D'souza it's D'sa. Get that wrong and then she gets mad. First time I met her was in India this year where she randomly mentioned having a heart in her legs. However, she was more than happy to point out that she saw me while I was in my 'bulky' (okay I was a whale) phase and running around Zabeel Park. I swear to you she is in love with her cat. It's a fat, adorable, lethargic thing and I've got more pictures of it in my phone than I do of myself (if that's even physically possible). She's a rather shy girl at first, preferring to be part of the crowd rather than a headliner. However, she does open up once in a while and boy it is pure joy when she does; mainly cause she only talks about what she's passionate about, and if she does then she suddenly comes to life. Addicted to chocolate and a hard core non-veg, Syd dreams of a day when bacon salad is a thing. Still she's probably the nicest person I'll ever meet.

Raveena 'Ravs' Kriplani is seriously the gangsta with nerd goggles. So maybe I'm getting a bit exhausted writing all of these posts but I said I'd do it so here I am. Moving on, Ravs was weirdly a person I've always considered a lot like me but yet somehow different. For starters I don't call my car the "Ravsmobile" nor do I have the ability to run on 2 hours of sleep everyday. I also do plan on living for quite a while which is why I didn't do 6 whole A levels while in high school, yet Ravs thinks she can cope. Aside from the nerdy business Ravs is a person who loves to party, and when I mean party I mean party (emphasis on party). She's also quite the badass and is known to bunk a multitude of classes when she just isn't 'feeling it'. Quite the image conscious one, Raveena gets a bit upset if pictures of her go up that are less than 'perfect'. After all if that's what you're trying to be in life then every aspect must be as well. All in all, she's the kind of person you'll meet once but won't forget, sort of like me except you'll actually want to remember her.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Been a while hasn't it? I'd say welcome back but we all know that no one is desperate enough to continue to come back to this site. So instead I'll start of with a friendly 'hello' and hope that what I'm probably going to write right now will seem interesting enough for you to spend a couple of minutes on.

So earlier this week results came out. Now these aren't your regular end of term 'next-time-I'll-do-better' results, this is the real life-deciding deal; and for many of us they weren't what we expected. So now how do we deal with that? I could stand here spouting all sorts of bull crap about how things will get better, and of how life has set you on a new better path, but we all know that I'll be wasting your time with complete and utter nonsense.

Let's face it. This sucks. Definitely if your future was suddenly taken away from you, you wouldn't want consolation. You'd want to smash things; curse the world for being cruel; maybe even go on a wild rampaging spree... anything basically besides listen to someone tell you that it's probably for the best.

As a person who's been on both sides of the roads I know how frustrating it is from either point of view. If you're the one being consoled, you're seriously considering ripping out the throat of the one consoling you. If you're the one consoling, you know that if it were you in the opposite person's position, you wouldn't even wait around to listen to your shit.

So now what? Well to me I feel there are 3 stages that people in this situation go through.

First is grief - The eternal sadness of not achieving your dreams has finally hit you. Waves of guilt, vulnerability and most of all pain overcome you. You seem lost for a few moments as you contemplate 'what now?'. The thing that hurts most probably is if you're a self conscious person like me, you will always wonder whether people will now view you as a failure. This is your biggest challenge that you'll face, and you have to overcome it if you even plan on moving on

Next is blame - You've finally accepted your current situation and now you're on the warpath looking for someone to blame for what has happened. Maybe it's your friends who insisted you keep on partying late into the night. Or your parents for taking you out constantly when you felt you should have studied. Lets be honest (say the first two words fast) you are the own freaking boss of your destiny. Do not forget that you agreed to most of these things whether knowingly or not. Call it peer pressure, family pressure or any other pressure, you gave into it rather focus on your goals and now you're paying the price. When you finally realize this, you'll seriously wish that the price wasn't so high.

Finally is revival - This stages could come frequently in-between the other two former stages, but you'll know it's real when you finally start to let go. When you decide that enough-is-enough and moping around won't help anyone, you've finally started the healing process. What is soon to follow is the desire to do better. Changes to your lifestyle could either be radical or they could be slow and progressing. Whatever they may be it is important to realize that these changes do not guarantee success in the future. They could be obliterated as you settle back into your old habits, or simply not strong enough to make a difference. However they are something you're willing to try out for the time being. Therefore you've opted to take a different path, preferably a brighter one as you move out of the shadows and back into the sunlight.

So now that I've basically written out my life-story in these few paragraphs I'm hoping you'll at least be able to relate with me and what I'm talking about. True, disappointment sucks but you're only making it worse by letting it take a hold of you. We're only human for god's sake. Mistakes are bound to happen but that doesn't me that we let them take us down. We simply get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the trail to find happiness.

In all honesty, the 'pursuit of happiness' is a battle, and if you're not fighting, then it isn't happiness that you're looking for.

Dealing with double sides

Ever wondered why you act differently when you're around people? No? Seriously does nobody think about these things at all? Ah well I do, and as long as I continue to do so, you're all suctioned into listening to what many people (nearly everyone) say is absolute bull crap. Still as they say, "Better to have some crap rather than none at all". Okay I have definitely broken the weird scale now. On with the post.

So lately (well basically right now) I've been thinking of how our attitude/personality/whatever the hell defines us, changes as we interact with different people. I've been the soft spoken, shy and inbound child; the over zealous and annoying boy wonder; the chilled out trophy kid; and most of all I've been the person no one forgets. Aren't I adorable? No I thought so. Just remember... I know where you live -_-

Moving on. I find myself wondering whether or not we have any control as to which personality we choose to first introduce ourselves with when meeting people. Like say you're like me and you're born with multiple personality disorder; what's your go-to personality? Frankly I tend to shift in between them depending on how the person I'm interacting with, appears

Now you've probably gotten the general gist of what I previously mentioned, but just for convenience sake, I'm going into this a little bit more deeper. They say that in the social circuit, there are four roles that are most common; there's the Alpha, the one with the prominent personality who takes the role of the leader; the Beta, who isn't respected by all but is valued by the Alpha as the person to go to for advice; the Sideliner, who are quite content being part of the group and find no need to jump positions, and finally there's the Bandwagon who loves to be around Alphas and will jump cliques if they find someone interesting enough.

After that rather complicated revealing, let me mix things up even further and see if you can take it. You know like I said we change our personality depending on the person we're interacting with... well that personality is one of these roles superimposed on us according to whether we think the other person is an Alpha, Beta, Sideliner or Bandwagon.

Take for instance the person you're about to meet seems charismatic, fun and sociable. Naturally you perceive them to be either an Alpha or a Beta and accordingly you decide whether you want to adopt a more outgoing role of the current social clique, or stay in the shadows until you feel comfortable.

See that's the problem. So many times I've met people who seem completely nice at one point of time, and the next moment when you're surrounded by different people he/she is a complete asshole. Not sure why that happens, and truthfully I've played the same role as these people many times. I guess it's just natural for us humans to change how we behave based on our perception of the other person. Hmm seems kinda pointless seeing as we're all part of the same washed up species. Ah well, we humans have a tendency of never learning. Maybe though in the future things will change. Till then here's hoping I don't adopt another random ass personality. I think 3 is enough.

The White Collar Retard

So apparently I have a job! I know it's weird to think of me all decked up (I'd go in shorts if I was allowed) and actually making a difference to the world (not so much) by doing an assortment of activities (I write questions); Okay so maybe I played it up a wee bit. Still this is my blog, so as they say in poker, 'Deal with it'. Now, onto the rather joyous/confusing post.

They say getting a job is a lot like giving away the best years of your life in exchange for a wad of cash; like a trade off or a really stressful ATM. Yet weirdly I'm having the time of my life over there and I find it incredibly humbling that my boss is kind enough to trust me with such exciting tasks. *Pardon me while I change the song on my iPhone* As I was saying, working is actually enjoyable for me. I mean I finally feel as if I have a purpose again.

A few weeks or like maybe a month ago, I wrote an article about losing your purpose. When you become a Wanderer, drifting through the tides of time till you find something to actually hold onto and call your own. Strangely I find working as my purpose (at least for now, pretty sure it's going to become hell) and so I'm immensely grateful to my rather eccentric big sister who put in the good word for me.

Getting back to work and its many challenges, I've recently come to understand that if you want to get anywhere in this world you've got to have contacts. You start out young, garnering as much exposure as you can, so that in the future should the need arise, you can call on those you impressed for help and support. True it is a dirty business, and that hardships and problems are definitely going to arise (my boss keeps trying to overfeed me :') ) but nevertheless, like Dory from Nemo said 'You just got to keep on swimming'.

I guess the only challenge I'm facing is waking up at 6a.m. I mean for a guy who spent the first month of summer waking up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon, to actually see the sunrise is a pretty daunting thing. I think I'm in love with the word 'Daunting' ever since those peeps on 'Master Chef Australia' seem to use it for literally every other thing. Convenient how I drifted off-topic the moment I started to run out of things to write.

Well in all honesty, there is a lot more that I wanted to talk about, but I feel what I have to say is best suited to my private journal. Sometimes, you need hold back for a bit, till time takes over and everything seems to blur away. Till then I guess, I'll keep waiting... and working ;). In other less exciting news, I think I'm actually learning to grow up, but we'll save that story for another time.