The Brilliance of Life, Understanding it... and other Shenanigans

I seem to enjoy posting at the most awkward of times it seems like. I mean practically most of you must be in hibernation mode with your nose stuffed into books as if they were providing you with life giving oxygen. Still it's been a while so I thought why not. Since the final term of university is upon us and with year one coming to a close I thought I'd look back at some of the things I've learnt and draw upon why they mattered.

For starters, I know for sure that this year I lost nearly half of my high-school friends to the unfortunate passage of time which slowly eroded any relationship that I might have had with them throughout our teenage life. It seemed saddening at first but then I realised that it was a necessary change to occur. We as individuals don't realise that sometimes we make friends to maintain the social convenience rather than actual mutual interest with each other. The so called 'gangs' we had as teenagers seems as if a thing of the past. Truth be told there was a lot of tension within those gangs and it seemed natural that after a while the ties which held us together slowly started to fade as we realised the insignificance of them. What was that irritating line in frozen ? Right 'It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small'. So with all of us so far away, the stress of trying to always fix things didn't come to me and I felt liberated by the fact that if things were meant to happen this way... then they happened for a reason. Not that I don't miss each and everyone of them though, the friends I made in highschool were a great bunch so it does sting that we've grown so far apart.

Making temporary snow cones - Like a boss

Another thing I feel I must point out is that university is a lot about balance. Honestly this lesson took way too long to learn but it felt good when I eventually did. I mean in all honesty it's all about bringing as much of your life's old routine back into your university life. Be it as simple as a game of football with your friends, or waking up early enough to actually have breakfast and lunch. Balance is an important part of our life even if we don't realise it. Bring back what was once good for you, take on those that improve you and discard those that don't. Most importantly I finally found a place where I can truly relax and feel as if I'm not simply living in a place that I'm here for temporarily but rather the potential for a permanent home. In all honesty I did rob that last line from one of my history lectures wherein the countries that the British invaded either prospered or collapsed depending on whether or not the migrants wanted to settle or simply rob the place of its resources. Funny how education comes up in the weirdest of places

Finally I felt humbled for the first time in my life to be a part of something so large and brilliant. University truly gives you the channel within which you can witness the world from a safe haven. Honestly I can come across as cocky, arrogant and even downright crude sometimes, but I'm learning to change, and one of the most important factors that caused that it is realisation that without the desire to improve, you're always going to be bested by others who do. You can sit on your laurels of the past and gloat about your glory days, but I'd much rather fall down multiple times, dust myself off and get right back up and face any challenge. Whether through life's successes, or personal development in the case of me, humility through gain and most of all a desire to keep fighting, this is a journey that I have yet to even reach the fork roads of. 

What I do believe though is that there's a lot more left to learn and I plan on cherishing every moment of it that I can. Summer is nearly here and there's a lot left to do. Till then...

Emotions - Do they matter?

Human beings are a complex species. We have no superior attributes that make us defining creatures and yet here we stand on the brink of reality pounded by reasoning behind our place here on this planet. It's strange when you think of it how we are one of the few inhabiting this place who actually feel inner pain. Emotions dominate our every step of existence and we often tend to mentally define ourselves based on how we feel. We judge, critique, and compare our perceptions of others in a way that seems crude and unworthy of our mental capabilities. Does it make sense to justify why we do what we sometimes? I wouldn't know; after all I'm only human.

These past few weeks have helped me reflect upon my past and the actions I've taken that have led me here. Having never been able to fully express myself I contained and confide my inner thoughts during earlier years, letting in only the closest of my companions. Here at university the inhibition to contain my personality didn't seem pressing enough to warrant the need for emotional control. I feel I grew a bit too careless and suffered the imminent consequences. True it did make me realise the downfall of fully expressing myself but I have learnt from my mistakes and will therefore never do so again.

Is life sometimes all but a game to me? The only reason we play it is to win at the end, so is the journey really that important? I sometimes think of the way I react as a game of snakes and ladders. A bad decision puts you one step down from your goal of happiness where as a good one brings you one step closer. True there are only so many bad decisions we can make before finally learning from our mistakes and moving on. In a way we evolve to reflect on our past choices as reminders of where we went wrong and how we've changed to resolve it.

I feel the more I write about it this, the more difficult it gets to express myself so this is where I decide that any more focus will only deviate this topic into disjointed thoughts. True people are given many chances to prove themselves time and again, but there will be a point sometime in the future where you'll simply give up and choose to live life outside the lines; some might say you're an observer.

Pushing the Boundaries

Okay so two thoughts. This post could be immensely insightful and talk about how people need to challenge themselves beyond the necessary and strive for success. Yet that topic is rather overplayed and something I find completely pointless to talk about, seeing as everyone wants the best for themselves. So today I felt that I'd talk about something I feel rather strongly about and what most people go through themselves when they simply... push the boundaries of friendship.

God that sentence was so overplayed it's not even funny. Still now that I've brought it up, you might as well sit down and listen.

They say the human mouth is incapable of staying shut for long periods of time (I should know) and when we speak without realising, it often doesn't bode well for us. Thousands of relationship have been ruined by a simple 'slip of the tongue', more so in today's day than ever. People all around are listening to what you say and therefore your every view, every word, every opinion comes under constant scrutinising by those you interact with. They dispel your originality, dampen your creativity and block you ingenuity. They are the barriers that hold you back.  

So now how does this all make sense with the what I mentioned in that cheesy first paragraph? Well more often than not it's your friends who builds those barriers. Shooting down your weird but often creative ideas are a given task set by all of those around you. Now while I'm sure that more often than not they mean no legitimate harm and are simply looking out for you. Still if that were always the case then I wouldn't be writing this article now would I?

There are moments, rare moments when you need to give yourself the final decision. Stick to your values for once and don't be swayed by what others think. Having friends is good, but having control of your own life is even better. You need to be able to instil that desire to accept the views of others but remain firm against your own. Simply changing yourself to suit those around you simply delays the chance to express yourself freely. As a person you're both the greatest opponent and greatest support to yourself. When you take to heart what others feel you become your own downfall. It's a bit like defeating yourself before the battle has even begun. I'm liking the expression 'motivational suicide'.

A few weeks ago I realised that despite coming this far in life I still have a lot to learn. I need to stand up for myself once in a while or I'm simply giving in to the idealisms of others. Life is unique to each individual and we should never compromise on our individuality or we risk losing the identity that we perceive of ourselves. There will be times when those close to you will break you down to the the bare foundation that you hold as your own; do not be set back. Get up and rebuild.

The time will come when the joys of life exist in a place that you feel at one with. When you look back and see how much you've grown and realise that you're happy.

The beginning of a new journey

Kinda weird isn't it?

I've been at university for nearly two months now and I'm finally getting down towards writing this post. Guess I just felt the time was right. So for now, forgive me for the sudden absence and perhaps read what I've got to say about my new life.

Nothing, repeat nothing prepares you for what life at university really is. Be it staying up till 4 am talking about god knows what or living on a diet of chocolate, I've seen both the best and worst of living an individual life here at Warwick. Let me tell you one thing though, you will never regret a single moment of it, that much I promise you. 

University is where you find yourself, honestly speaking. High school is your final test of strength, the desire to succeed pushes you forward and then suddenly you've found yourself amongst the most amazing people you'd ever imagine meeting. I thought I'd miss my family back home at dubai, my best-friend/brother and of course my amazing sister, little did I think that I'd be getting a new one here. 

My family here at Warwick is a lot like me, guess that's the benefit of college, you find your place with people just like you. There's Harsh, who despite all the rather disturbing jokes about 'fiery penetration' is one of the nicest people I've ever met. By nice I mean he's insane like me, and that is a quality I really value. I've got my clean-freak/ workaholic buddy Aashna who for the love of god needs to stop complaining about every restaurant she eats in. I guarantee you that wherever she goes, she always finds something wrong. Perfectionist complextion maybe! Still, she's part of the puzzle, and without her we're really incomplete. Finally there's  Lasya, my former roomie ( FYI her room looked like a South Indian bomb exploded right in the centre ) and drama companion. Lasya is really, really, really weird, and I mean that in the best way possible. She hates chocolate, so officially she can be listed as psychotic. She also loves to eat stuff then whine about it. I mean maybe it's a girl thing, cause my sister does that as well, but god people food is food. I would like to point out though that I kinda need Lasya to make sure that I don't go mentally insane over here, she's sorta my stress reliver. 

Yeah I suck at explaining, but that's my family in general, cousins and all will come later but for now we're the fail four taking on the perils of UNi together.

... And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way 

In my opinion...

All work and no play makes Danz a dull boy. That's a lie, I was always dull.

Hopefully that horrible joke on me would be enough for you to forget that I haven't written in over two weeks; I've been busy okay! Still I'm here with yet another rather insignificant thought of mine, hoping that you can relate.

So lately I've been under the impression that everyone loves to get their own two-bits in. Let's face it, people love listening to themselves, so whenever they get the chance, they shove their own views and perceptions wherever they go.

Now this generally isn't a bad thing. By all means, I feel that getting advice from as many people as possible is vital for a sound decision. Still there are limits even for advice. People like to think for themselves sometimes and don't always need to be spoon-fed. In today's world with everyone telling you what to do and how to do it, I feel that in the big picture we're all a bunch of robots without individuality.

So now when is enough, enough? See, I feel that opinions are divided into two categories; the views that benefit, and the views that vent.

The views that benefit are the sincere ones made by people who have decided to take an unbiased approach to your situation and therefore are offering you advice out of genuine concern. These people weirdly enough aren't often the ones closest to you. Those people are too involved in your life to offer an unbiased decision. More often than not people listen to those they are closest to and take advice on views that have a set agenda. These people want your life to follow a path that 'they' feel is best for you, not what is best for you overall. Yes I get that this is confusing but let me ask you this, if you're a person who regularly goes to friends for advice, don't you get a bit irritated once in a while when they refuse to have an opinion that actually matters and instead they rather choose to agree with whatever you have to say. That's not advice, that's a yes-man *Movie Reference :)*

The views that vent are something you have to look out for. These are people who will take your situation and somehow change it into their own. It's like going to someone for advice about your own particular situation only to have them relent on about what happened to them. I get that experience matters, but really once in a while I'd like someone to just shut up and listen. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite for writing about this seeing I too tend to go on about my life every now and then *understatement of the year* but this is just basic advice for those that are reading this. A different kind of 'views that vent' are those which somehow seem to make any difficult situation you encounter, entirely your fault. These are the people who are of the opinion that when things go sour, you're the one to blame. Now not only is this unfair but it kinda sucks! So watch out for the ones that have always had something against you, and are waiting to stick it to you the moment a situation arises.

Wow didn't think I could actually write that much, okay no wait I did. Consider this making up for lost time seeing as I'm probably going to get super busy now that I'm leaving for university. Still this is my life, and I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in time for this somewhere. Till then enjoy some random photo that does not even remotely go with the title, that I've grabbed from my phone :).

To New Beginnings (Part 2)

I'm going to start this week's post with a story. It is a true story but I'll be using attributes here and there from people I know.

There was once a very, very lonely boy. He spent all of his time by himself completely disconnected from the world around him. He thought he could never trust anyone around him since he was always the one getting picked on. As a result he thought he didn't require friends; he believed that people were fools if they felt that they needed others to help them get on with their lives.

The years passed on and this boy grew up lonely and miserable. His joy came from degrading others since he felt he was superior to them. He was the king of his own world yet he didn't realize that the population was only one. As the years passed his hatred was channeled towards other things. His greed to prove himself better at everything made him work harder than anyone else at everything he set his mind to. He prospered, and for a little while he was happy at the top. However, he soon realized, that when you're better than everyone else, there isn't anything left to chase after. Unhappy even with his new found success, the boy vowed to change himself.

He first tried being a person of multiple personalities. The air of mystery surrounded him and people were curious as to see who this person was. However personalities are only as good as their consistency and the constant lashing out to his friends pushed them away as he tried to once again dominate a group he felt he was better than. He didn't realize that there were aspects to life that even with all his determination he couldn't become good at. So he fought and argued and pushed those who cared for him further and further away; so much so that whatever concern his friends had for him was dissolved into a sea of hate. Clearly things weren't going the way they planned so the boy abandoned these people and chose a new group to find.

For his next attempt at climbing the social ladder, the boy chose a different route. He made a great success as a mentor to others, using his knowledge to make friends with those he felt his intellectual equals. However his jealously grew whenever he was outperformed and a rift was created that he felt wasn't worth repairing. He engaged in gossip as a hobby and found great happiness in interfering in other peoples lives. This would be okay to an extent if the reason for inquisitiveness was out of genuine concern rather than the boy's selfish desire to know more about others than everyone else did. His smug look of all-knowing was what brought fear into many of his friends who were afraid by what he could do with the information he knew about them. However, once the gossip was used up, the boy grew bored and moved onto the next group of unsuspecting individuals with a different idea as to how to be popular amongst them.

For his final try at popularity. The boy chose to be the complete opposite of the person he actually was. He tried to seem friendly and kind to those around him, and was perfectly willing to open up about his life to anyone who chose to ask him. Yet no one could actually say that they truly knew what he was thinking. Nobody could understand what sort of person the boy actually was and to an extent that intrigued those around him even more. He was mysterious, fun at sometimes, and quite appealing to anyone around him. However, there were those times when he seemed unhappy for no reason whatsoever and when questioned by his friends the boy simply blew them away telling them it was nothing at all. Now since a relationship is a give and take job, those around him were unhappy by the way they were being treated and chose to distance themselves from the boy. Depressed by how everything in his life seemed to be going wrong, the boy cursed the world for bringing this upon him and chose to simply abandon everyone and start anew.

Our story ends here.
If you're wondering what happened to the boy, twenty years down the line he was found by all three groups of his old friends and they were amazed by how he had changed. For the first time since they had known him, they found the boy happy. Genuine happiness, the kind without a single drop of greed, hatred or envy hidden underneath. When asked what brought about his drastic change he simply replied, " I stopped trying to be what others wanted me to be and simply chose to be myself".

For this story there are 8 different people I've used for inspiration. Each of them had their own personal share of demons and these have been molded into the story that I've created.

If you're wondering why I'm writing this post it's because for many of us a new year is dawning. As we know every year we promise that this one will be different. Yet halfway down the line we give up on our promises and resort back towards our old comfortable versions of ourselves. After all if change were that easy, then staying constant wouldn't be considered a word.

However, I'd like to give you a bit of advice that a lot of people have told me over the years.

Be 'humble'

There's not much more of itself I can say. Seeing as humbleness is the most difficult thing to achieve in this world, it's no wonder so many of us claim to have achieved it. Let me tell you something, if you thought to yourself after reading the above line, that you were humble, then definitely you are not.

Being humble comes without realization and it is probably one of the greatest gifts one can receive. While I am by no means an expert on this particular topic, heck I'm not even a novice, I do know what happens if you aren't humble and trust me it isn't all that great.

I wanted to write more but I think I'll stop now. Seeing as most of you probably have school the next day, I've probably made you late for your first day. Still I'm glad I could share this with you, seeing as the true significance of this post is far more than what it appears to be. Till next time.

The Fork Roads of Life

There will come a time in your life, perhaps not now or even a couple of years, but you will encounter a situation where a difficult decision has to be made, and when you do  you'd better hope to god that you've made the right now.

These decisions could be anything. However, the one thing that they will all have in common is that they will shape out a new path in your life based on the choice you make. They are those that make you look back and think, "What if I had done things differently?".

Being quite cryptic right now aren't I? I'm not sure if I am since this is usually how I tend to write a piece that I have difficulty in stringing together. It's like I want honesty but prefer the covering of falsity. Still, at least I'm making this attempt, so bear with me while I most likely make a fool out of myself writing this.

Anyways getting back to the topic of Fork Roads. You will need to make a choice and most of the time people look back with a mixture of curiosity and regret at what could have been a change in their life. I'm here to clear that feeling of doubt.

They say that when you first encounter a difficult scenario, your brain instantly registers the most desired situation acceptable and drives you towards that. However that only last for a short period of time, and the more you think about it, the bigger the worry becomes. When you make a choice, it should be one that reflects on what you feel is right to you, not anybody else around you. It is your life in reality and it is yours to choose how to live it. Let me tell you something; the person who knows you the best is YOU so it is your opinion that will matter the most to you. Do not be influenced by the words of many and forget the most important thoughts of one.

However to be completely unbiased, this scenario is quite subject to change depending on the ability of someone or something to influence your decision and give you the confidence to take a choice you were hesitant about. Still that rarely happens although think of how interesting that would be.

Yeah I may have just gone full retard with that post, so this is probably the most relatable thing you've ever read or the most useless one (I anticipate it's the latter for the most of you). Still it is my thoughts, my words and my actions, and as I've just pointed out what you say shouldn't really matter should it? After all you can be like this cat and say "Screw it".